TOM FRANCIS
REGRETS THIS ALREADY

Hello! I'm Tom. I'm a game designer, writer, and programmer on Gunpoint, Heat Signature, and Tactical Breach Wizards. Here's some more info on all the games I've worked on, here are the videos I make on YouTube, and here are two short stories I wrote for the Machine of Death collections.

   
 

World Of Lifecraft

Rich pointed me to a post putting forward the concept of Massively Multiplayer Productivity, and I haven’t been able to find anyone who’s actually come up with a formal system for how it would work. The concept is that, in order to give the menial tasks you do in real-life the same addictive quality as the menial tasks in World Of Warcraft, all you need to do is assign experience-point rewards to them. Your To-Do list becomes your Quest Log, and every few thousand points you level yourself up – you have become a superior human being by getting things done.

So all it needs is a fair system of assigning experience points to the different kinds of things life requires you to sort out, and some markers to indicate when you would level up. I suggest:

Quest Type XP
Making a phone call 250
– that involves persuasion +250
– to someone you hate +250
Filling out a form 100
– and posting it +50
– and losing it 100
Physical labour 250
– that takes more than half an hour +250
– that takes more than an hour +250
Going to an appointment 500
– and resolving a problem while there +250
– and discovering you are terminally ill +500
Cleaning a room 500
– including removal of blood stains +500
Going shopping for groceries 250
Working outside of work 250
– for more than forty-five minutes +250
– just to get ahead +250
Doing someone a favour 250
– that takes more than half an hour +250
– that involves assassination or insurance fraud +750
Blogging 100
– about World Of Lifecraft +150

Level-ups are awarded for the following XP amounts:

Progress XP Reward
Level 1 500 Consumption of an unhealthy food.
Level 2 1000 Consumption of an expensive and unhealthy food.
Level 3 2000 A frivolous purchase =< £5/$10
Level 4 3500 Home delivery for your next groceries purchase
Level 5 5500 Immediate consumption of eight units of alcohol
Level 6 8000 A frivolous purchase =< £15/$30
Level 7 11000 Moral absolution for one theft – past or future
Level 8 14500 Home delivery for your next narcotics purchase
Level 9 18500 A frivolous purchase =< £50/$100
Level 10 23000 Moral absolution for the contract-killing of one unwanted person

And so on. (If you didn’t spot the pattern, you’re probably not geeky enough to need to turn your life into a MMOG in order to get anything done). Notice that you start at level 0, just to emphasise how worthless you are until you’ve done something.

Well, I’m level one already and I haven’t had breakfast, so I think a bacon sandwich is in order. Any suggestions for more quest types or rewards?