TOM FRANCIS
REGRETS THIS ALREADY

Sire, My Regard For You Is This Big

I promise not to become someone who links everything they ever do anywhere, as if the mere fact of their involvement is reason enough for you to care. But I happen to have posted two things that fit within James’ remit on the PC Gamer blog recently. Jim mentioned today that he’d tried to look it up online with no luck, to which my mental reaction was “Dear God, he’s right! The world needs to know about Thedret the Exaggerator!”

As far as I know, the steps described in this article should let anyone create their own Exaggerator, but I’ve never tried to repeat the phenomenon. It would seem to undermine it, somehow.

Why I Love: Thedret the Exaggerator

When you complete the Knights of the Nine, your second-in-command Thedret addresses your men on your behalf. As he does so, he raises his arms dramatically and tells them that you survived your heroic clash with an evil god, and Tamriel is safe once more.

At more or less any time, you can ask any of your knights to accompany you on your adventures. You can only have one at a time, but it can be anyone, including Thedret. And so, as much to test the extent of my authority as anything, I asked Thedret to follow me mid-speech. He did, leaving everyone else stuck in our courtyard waiting blankly for the conclusion of his impassioned diction as he and I trundled off over the cliff.

I stopped to pick a few Green Stain Cups and Aloe Vera leaves, and when I turned back, I found Thedret looming over me with his arms aloft in that same absurd “I caught one this big” pose.

His expression was blank, and when spoken to, he asked “Yes, sir knight?” as if I were the one behaving strangely. And ever since, whenever Thedret isn’t running or fighting, his arms fly up in this oratorial stance and he glares at me, daring me to ask why. WHY, THEDRET, WHY?

Now, of course, I take Thedret everywhere. If he dies, I reload a previous savegame. His only interesting feature might be a bug, but the fact that it persists makes him the only truly unique thing I have in the game.

I love my Thedret because no-one else has one. It took Valve six years to make Alyx a likeable aide, but this one unintended edge case has made Oblivion’s Thedret far more important to me.