TOM FRANCIS
REGRETS THIS ALREADY
Hello! I'm Tom. I'm a game designer, writer, and programmer on Gunpoint, Heat Signature, and Tactical Breach Wizards. Here's some more info on all the games I've worked on, here are the videos I make on YouTube, and here are two short stories I wrote for the Machine of Death collections.
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Postcards From A Weekend Of Premeditated Murder
A slightly tense week inspired me to go back to Hitman: Blood Money last weekend. It is cathartic.
Well, yes, now it’s obvious where the killer was standing.
This is the climax of a spectacularly machiavellian plot to replace an actor’s prop pistol with a real one to trick him into performing your hit for you at the crescendo of a wartime opera.
I’ll save you the trouble – yes, there’s a bomb in that.
I don’t know why, but as I trash-compacted this sanitation worker, it really bothered me that I was depriving society of the valuable service he provides.
If you’re in witness protection, don’t let them put you in a house with a wall like this.
In case someone hides there and throws a kitchen knife into your head like this.
In retrospect, yes, it was always going to be difficult to get away with killing that bird in front of this cop.
I still don’t know how they did this goddamn crowd scene. How- polygons- what?
This is as tragicomic as it is hilarisad.
I am especially unclear on where I keep my pistols in this outfit.
Still feels good.
What? Too slutty?
Yes, I have done this more than once.
What’s the matter asshole, never seen a poisoncake before?
NO POISON FOR YOU.