Hello! I'm Tom. I designed a game called Gunpoint about rewiring things and punching people, I'm on a weekly gaming podcast called The Crate & Crowbar, I wrote these two short stories in the Machine of Death collections, and I used to write articles like these for PC Gamer. I'm now prototyping two new games, Heat Signature and one about grappling hooks.
Pentadact: If only there were a Radiolab episode about this.
Pentadact: Cheers! Right now collision is done per-pixel...
BadBannana: Hmm, Arstotzkan Coffee actually sounds really good...
Quickly, drink this. I just found a retroactive excuse for tonight’s pina coladas: I’ve posted 500 things on this site?
This 500th post calls for MINIMUM CONTENT and MAXIMUM STATS. They start from when the site moved to Pentadact.com in February 2008, and the graph looks a bit like this (click for readable size):
Special thanks to Chris Livingston for being my biggest human referrer, which will make him vital when the robot referrers rise up against the human referrers and we need some muscle. He’s also writing about film and TV as well as games these days, with his wife – bafflingly also called Kris Livingston. It is awesome to have him back on the blogonets, and some of his amazing old stuff like his Merchants of Brooklyn screenplay is finally back online.
BACK TO STATS.
Apparently- wow, the Left 4 Dead gnome thing is my most visited post ever? Here’s the confusing list:
1. I Played Through Left 4 Dead 2 Holding A Goddamn Gnome
The only thing I know about how StumbleUpon works is that it rewires the internet so that this post is disproportionately popular, forever.
2. I Played Through Episode Two Holding A Goddamn Gnome
My SEO seminar is entitled Goddamn Gnomes and How Holding Them Can Grow Your Demographic.
3. Team Fortress 2 Unlockable Ideas
Proof that if you can’t do something well, do it anyway.
4. Ending BioShock
Imagine this post spluttered loudly and indecipherably by a drunk, and you know what I’m like to hang out with.
5. This Is All I Can Think During StarCraft 2′s Cut Scenes
Can’t help noticing the popularity of posts in which I write little or nothing at all.
6. Fallout Girl: Striking Out
Thousands of people saw this! Almost none of them were inspired to read the next or previous entries! Ouch.
8. Plants Vs Zombies: Lawns I Have Loved
Wow. OK, no idea.
9. The Best And The Worst Of Mass Effect 2 (Spoiler Safe)
Venting pent up opinion from not getting to review it.
10. A Stab At Meet The Spy
Which, as everyone pointed out, was too long. Then Meet The Spy actually came out, and was more than twice as long as every other video in the series. IN YOUR FACE, people with a reasonable point!
More importantly, we just passed 10,000 comments, and that is tough to comprehend. Even after six years, this place almost never gets a “first!” or a “meh”, so that’s 9,900 worthwhile contributions – more than I’ll ever make myself. Thanks, everyone.
Flowerpot Wang: First!
I've said enough.
Flowerpot Wang: Also, congrats :D:D
Rosti: You are credit to whole web!
sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: Tom, this is your editor. There's no time to gloat here, we've got a schedule to uphold. Now get back to writing funny articles about video games, chop chop.
Phydaux: Over 9,000 comments!
Sorry... I'll get me coat.
TooNu: WOOO! :)
May the next 10,000 comments be just as mega great!
Joop: So thats what happened to Chris, man Ive been wondering where he went.
dual_barrel: 7. Far Cry 2: Impersonation Of A Buddy
This is the one through which I got to know this site first and it was really funny.
Matthias Zarzecki: Chris Livingstone is alive?
Seriously. His last websites vanishes off the web, and that was the next logical conclusion I drew.
Leman: I was brought here by the great I played through Crysis holding a Korean.
Its still my favourite article because im sick in the head.
Leman: Actually thats a lie. I was here before Surprised Korean Guy.
Stewmull: Congrats dude! :) iv been happly reading your blog for ages and finally posted something...
heres to another 500 more! :D
Sooty: Funny... I was brought thanks to my PvZ video after shamelessly checking where the traffic source for that video came from lol.
Duncan: There's nothing like a "Best of Tom Francis" post to stop me from getting on with my day.
Octaeder: Congrats on the milestone!
I'm pretty sure I was pointed here by Chris' blog. Which is sort of weird as I only found his site because Concerned got a mention in PC Gamer.
Tom Francis: Hah, my ridiculously circuitous plan to promote my own blog worked!
FlyingSquirrel: So I mentioned this on Chris' new site, but thanks for the link to his new endeavor :D. I had been wondering what he had been up to since First Person Observer. Hoorays!
Matthias Zarzecki: On that matter, what is Chris Livingstones new site? I got here through Concerned too and followed him, until his last sites went defunct.
Now even googling "chris livingstone" results nothing.
Matthias Zarzecki: Oh yeah. There it is. forgot that.
Nonomu198: Happy milestone! Been enjoying this blog for three years now, I think. Cheers!
I too was directed here by Chris, a long time ago. He lives! Amazing! I figured something had happened to him. This is great!
Why don't you change the link on the side panel from his old, defunct site to his new, seemingly not yet defunct one?
Experiential: Ah, I remember the days when it was just James.
PvZ, TF2, Music and media moderation. Congrats man!! I think I was first sent here from a Dong Resin blog post, and he's been gone for Years.
Huh.. nother 30 minutes of nostalgia, and it'll be happy hour.
Keep at it, man.
Nonomu198: Tom, you listened! Great.
URLs get turned into links automatically. You can use <i>HTML</i> but not [b]forum[/b] code. If your comment doesn't show up, e-mail me - the spam filter's just detained it for questioning.