Toy Story 3 fares much better on Rotten Tomatoes, 99% positive. Still… can’t… resist… reading… negatives…
Toy Story 3 is so besotted with brand names and product-placement that it stops being about the innocent pleasures of imagination—the usefulness of toys—and strictly celebrates consumerism.
Yeah, I’m sure Fisher-Price are making a mint out of all that juicy promotion for the fucking 1962 Chatter Telephone. How crass, for a film about the experience of childhood play, to feature anything anyone actually played with.
The toys wage battle with the daycare center’s cynical veteran cast-offs: Hamm the Piggy Bank pig, Lotsa Hugs and Big Baby.
The fact that you’re listing Hamm the piggy bank as one of the daycare’s toys seems to suggest that you either didn’t watch or failed to comprehend the child’s film you’re reviewing. It also means you haven’t seen the previous two, which would be surprising but not criminal if you didn’t dismiss them both in your intro.
But none of these digital-cartoon characters reflect human experience; it’s essentially a bored game that only the brainwashed will buy into.
Uses of the term “human experience”: 1,960,001.
Meaningful uses of the term “human experience”: 0.
Besides, Transformers 2 already explored the same plot to greater thrill and opulence.
Wow, I hadn’t noticed the connection. Here, then, is the entire plot of Toy Story 3 – click to reveal, since it’s obviously a major spoiler.
Simmons informs the group that the symbols Sam has been seeing should be readable for a Decepticon.
They then find Jetfire (disguised as the SR-71 in the center of the museum) at the F. Udvar-Hazy Center and reactivate him via the shard of the AllSpark.
After teleporting the group to Egypt, Jetfire explains that only a Prime can kill The Fallen, and translates the symbols, which contain a riddle that sets the location of the Matrix of Leadership somewhere in the surrounding desert.
The military arrives with the Autobots, but so do the Decepticons.
Jetfire arrives and destroys Mixmaster, but is mortally wounded by Scorponok.
The Air Force bombs the Decepticons, but Megatron breaks through the offensive and kills Sam.
While dead, Sam is contacted by the Dynasty of the Primes who, acknowledging his courage and dedication to Optimus, revive him and rebuild the Matrix of Leadership.
Sam goes on to revive Optimus. Jetfire sacrifices himself so that Optimus can use his parts to fly to the Harvester and ultimately win the battle.
Optimus engages The Fallen in the ruins by fighting non-stop with his new parts from Jetfire, blasts Megatron’s jaw off and kills the Fallen by spearing the Fallen’s own spear through his chest and ripping his spark out.
While Toy Story 3’s various hazards and cliffhangers evidence more creativity than typical Pixar product (an inferno scene was promising, Lotsa Hugs’ cannily evokes mundane insensitivity), I admit to simply not digging the toys-come-to-life fantasy (I don’t babysit children, so I don’t have to) nor their inevitable repetition of narrative formula: the gang of animated, talking objects journey from one place to another and back—again and again.
Hi. You dropped these: ………..
(You also dropped a ’ , but it landed on Lotsa Hugs).
It recalls how Tim Burton’s atrocious Alice in Wonderland repeated narrative stasis without exercising the famous line: “It takes all the running you can do just to stay in the same place.”
This is exactly right, for anyone and everyone under the impression that ‘recalls’ means ‘has nothing to do with what I’m about to waste this review giving you my opinion on:’
Burton’s omission of that legendary, therapeutic slogan parallels how Toy Story 3 suckers fans to think they can accept this drivel without paying for it politically, aesthetically or spiritually.
Deranged as this review already was, it did lack the special kind of crazy it takes to imply that people are going to ‘pay’. Thanks for completing the set.
My own review isn’t going to be much cop either, so I’ll just add it here. Spoilers.
It was lovely. The new toys introduced are so colourful, exciting and instantly funny that the returning characters started to look a bit uninspired. Big Baby goes from being truly horrific to powerfully sympathetic without really changing. Until Mr Chuckles, I’d never seen an animated character who could crack up an entire audience on sight. And the fiery, twitching pupils of the vigilant security monkey instilled more stress, anxiety and genuine fear than the Eye of Sauron ever has.
The story itself succeeds by creating a more interesting conflict than the whims of an asshole child, intelligently borrowing the most entertaining bits of prison breakout movies, and milking the basic conceit for more fun than it has any right to. There’s that, and there’s Timothy Dalton as Mr Pricklepants.