Firstly if you have traditionally thought of yourself as a non-fan of Tomb Raider (that is, the franchise in particular rather than platformers in general) you owe it to yourself to give the reboot a proper solid go. TR: Legend is an almost perfect game let down only by some rubbish boss fights (happily absent in Underworld) and easily the biggest and most pleasant gaming surprise I’ve had in years. I LOVED it, and I’ve traditionally hated the Tomb Raider games for their shameless pimping of a polygonal pin-up over making a decent game.

Meanwhile, a couple of levels into Underworld and my biggest criticism is that the joy has been somewhat sidelined this time around. In the first level Lara enthuses passionately about the beauty of the ruins around her and the culture which created them. She’s disapproving and bitter when she notices the mercenaries stomping around “Here come the tourists to muck it all up”. Throughout the game she plays a wry mother hen to Zip and Alastair as they bicker in her earpiece. Boys!

So far there’s been none of that in Underworld, and it’s a shame. It’s still a great game and a hella lotta fun, but even so, I can’t help but feel there’s been an unwelcome injection of “darker and edgier” to the story. Of course, if the wonderful Underworld is Crystal Dynamics’s Angel of Darkness moment, we’ve got nothing to worry about.

Oh, for a moment I thought you were Ross Atherton.

Although, yeah, they make great mention of the (true) fact that they aren’t asking, in this case, for people to change the scores; just be quiet if they aren’t high enough.

Yes, we all share the cat. Or more to the point: he owns four humans.

Jaz may have thought you were referring to PCG because the point of mine you were rejecting was about PCG. If anyone’s wondering, we gave Driver 3 23%.

That’s right, Tom is obviously just too idealistic for this business. I mean, the writers are in Bath, and the advertising peeps are in London, but yeah, Tom is yet to discover the hive of corruption that is PCG.

Female image = male mind = x

It doesn’t take a genius to find the variable, especially with boobies like Croft.

With the advent of the PCGA, could there be an Official PC Magazine? I’ve joked about reading it in the past.

It’s utterly self-defeating. Do you get more readers if you have a review first? Sure. But if you change a score to get that, you haven’t got the first review. You’ve got an advert with a made-up score on the end.

If you’re prepared to do that, why not just review Diablo 3 right now and give it 96%? That’d get you even more readers, and it’s exactly the same betrayal of their trust.

http://www.videogaming247.com/2008/11/21/uk-tomb-raider-underworld-reviews-under-810-silenced-until-monday/

Not only do Eidos evidently think that numerical reviews are important, they actually “ensure the launch scores of Tomb Raider Underworld are in line with our internal review predictions over the launch weekend”. Despite the attempt at euphemism the shit still shines through. Fucking ridiculous, imo.

I understand that consoles and console reviewers have more pressure placed on them, but have you ever had any of this overt pressure placed on your reviews?

His cat was never found…

Somehow, at least this proves that Lara is better than cats.

I have one more question for Craig Pearson, who seems to be now my favourite writer for a magazine I don’t really read often:
As a man with hair, do you pay particular attention to the hair care products you use? And if so, what shampoo do you use? And my second question is: How would you react if one day you woke up completely bald? And to carry on from that question, completely bald but your cat was sitting in front of you wearing your ponytail and said “I believe you will find escape quite impossible, Mr Pearson!”
I’m going to draw a diagram to make this clearer. But I don’t have it right now, I’ll post it when i’m done, and J-man can randomly bring it up in the next “Annoy Pentadact Society” meeting. (Which i’m not a part of…yet.)

I get what you’re saying, but I say live and let live. I mean, we’re all basically on this site to profess our undyling love to Tom and yet we don’t judge each other any less for that.

Craig is lying, Dexter is John Walker’s cat. Or are you one of those PCG writers that shares the house with John, and the cat is in fact a communist cat that everyone shares?

They may be just a collection of 1’s and 0’s, but if someome took the time to animate them, I’ll duly take the time to appreciate them.

What’s the difference between lusting over a video game character and lusting over some fictional movie character again?

I haven’t played any tomb raiders since erm, I think it was the 4th one (the one with all the gods and set in egypt or something)? I might just try out the demo. I love the second game to bits when I was younger especially all the awesome little secrets that were stashed around. Has any of that carried over?

This is just how I imagine you from your tiny picture in the few issues of PCG I have read. :P

heh, sorry. But you do have a ponytail!

waitasec…

holy shit, it’s craig pearson!

Wow, Tom and Chris from 1fort are both suffering from “I didn’t post, so I have huge comment backlogs.”

that swimsuit shot gives me wood!!! i normally take screenshots using fraps, and boy will i with this game.

This is a terrible admission, but with a game like Red Alert 3, I’m probably just going to watch all the cutscenes on youtube and skip the game.

NEW to Tomb Raider Underworld – realistic leg-hair growth! Forget to shave before a mission and see Lara’s stubbly growth turn into full fledged man-hair!!! Next-Gen!

Damn you credit crunch! If you even exist!

P.S. Your review for Red Alert 3 was very good, and you have convinced me to buy it.

I’m the one with the sculpted features of a particularly handsome Greek god, incidentally. Any evidence to the contrary is merely a cunning ruise to avoid showing off.

No I think the sandal with socks guy who has a ponytail is Craig Pearson. Walker is the ginger freelancer.

In truth, Alec Meer’s review is quite flattering. John Walker gives Mark of Chaos 66% a few pages later, but opens with: “it’s a mediocre [game], sat in the shadow of the completely fantastic Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War.” Alec awards Hinterland the high honour of being, potentially, “one of those games where you glance up at the clock and realise you’ve yet again been sucked through a time portal to 2am.” Reading a little further, I’m gonna get it. Why not? It’s $20 on Steam, I love weird genre-hybrids even if they suck, I’m happy, Valve’s happy, Tilted Mill are happy. Read the review, use your brain, and I think the system really works.