And also when a mole is revealed at the end of an episode because they ran out of cliffhanger endings.

(You gotta wonder who’s the manufacturer of those, they’ve gotta make a lot of money for supplying CTU with new ones all the time.)

Soon, too, we’re going to need one for when the person people are unfairly suspicious of turns out to be evil after all.

“I want everyone doing everything.”

Yes I know this was from ages ago, but I was watching 24 recently and… ah hell, no-one’s ever going to see this anyway.

– The answer comes back, “about fifteen minutes”.

– Or someone asks how long before something happens.

– And is told “within the hour.”

– A terrorist gets killed by his own boss.

– A suspect who’s CTU’s only lead in their current investigation gets killed.

– If a terrorist suspect who’s CTU’s only lead in their current investigation gets killed by his own boss, drink double.

– Jack Bauer says “there’s no time!” in an exasperated voice.

– Or “that’s too long!”

– Or “I need it now!”

– Or “what are you talking about?”

– Something bad happens that Jack Bauer just fails to prevent, and looks stunned as we cut away to an ad break. After the break, Jack is still standing with the exact same expression, having apparently just stood there like a bloody lemon for three or four minutes doing absolutely nothing.

– If he then immediately leaps into action, berating all and sundry for not realising how little time there is, for taking too long, for not giving him stuff he needs now and/or for not properly explaining what they’re talking about, drink triple.

– Jack asks for something to be sent to his screen.

– Someone in CTU asks someone else to “open a socket.”

– Or to transfer something to a terminal.

– Or uses the word “bandwidth”.

– Or says “I’m putting you on speakerphone!”

– Everyone at CTU is told that something is their only priority.

– CTU foils a terrorist threat that was their only priority, but then discover it was just a cover for an even bigger threat. Which is now their only priority.

– Somebody gets kidnapped.

– An attractive woman turns out to be a ruthless terrorist.

– Somebody makes arcane but cooly military-looking hand-signals to their partner while sneaking into a terrorist base.

– Despite obviously having a supply of armour and automatic weapons on-hand, despite being surrounded by people who’re sensibly wearing helmets and carrying the biggest guns they can lay hands on, Jack leads a raid equipped with only a bulletproof vest and an automatic pistol.

– CTU gets infiltrated by someone working for a terrorist.

– A member of a CTU backup team whose name hasn’t been mentioned gets killed.

– A member of CTU’s staff is escorted to a holding cell by burly security guards.

– The head of CTU is replaced by somebody else. Honestly, between the fact that security ensigns on the starship Enterprise had a longer life-expectancy than your average CTU field op, the constant threat of being dragged off to a cell and having seven shades kicked out of you by your own colleagues, and that even if you DO somehow last long enough to get promoted you’re likely to be relieved of your duties after being in the job for less than ten hours, it’s a wonder the place ever manages to recruit anybody at all.

– Jack disobeys orders.

– Or tortures somebody for information.

– Or has a warrant put out for his arrest.

– If he disobeys orders, tortures someone for information and has a warrant put out for his arrest as a result, just go ahead and finish the sodding bottle.

– Jack only JUST misses the terrorists and screams “Damn it!”

– They bring in the torture doctor in the questioning room

Jack beats up a member of CTU.
Jack threatens someone with torture.

“TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS.”
“I’ll tell you wh–”
“WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS.”