By Pentadact

Palms: Chris should write more. In fact, I would like to see him make a website which he regularly updates with his opinions on games. Maybe he could review demos or something, I dunno, I'm not an idea's machine.

Seriously, there's so much talent on the internet, it makes you wonder how people like those who make movies like Epic Movie are in business.

Lack_26: I love his blog, (and yours) in fact both RSS (this site and FPShouter) feeds are next to each other.

Anyway, I would dearly wish for this movie to be made. But I doubt anything could match the images that this sends flowing through my brain.

Bret: It's a great work of art, no doubt.

In fact, if it wasn't for Scott Pilgrim, Valve, and Pixar, existence would now be futile. Nothing can ever match that script.

Jazmeister: I normally don't read people's screenplays on the internet; it's mostly to do with my glasses and whatnot, and... well anyway.

After convulsing madly to the clip, I may just bother my arse to read this one.

(I did read most of the spy one, honest. I read it all, just in sporadic, non-linear sections)

Dagda: I actually started writing the lyrics for the hypothetical crappy rap song at the movie's end.

Cavemen, MOTHERF***ERS!
(Listen up to my sound)
We livin’ here in BROOKLYN
(Take a good look around)
We gotta build SKY BRIDGES
(All over the town)
Ya’ll better hold ON TIGHT
(Cause shit’s about to go down)
Woo!

I'm tempted to write a whole song's worth, I really am.

J-Man: @Dagda:

Please do. That's as funny as the script.

Smurfy: I envision this to the tune of that one song from Red Alert 2. The one where they have sound clips of people saying "ti-ti-time is running out" and "it's a nuclear device!"

Chijts: Sweet lyrics Dagda... or should I say FIDDY!

Jason L: 'Woo' might be better as 'Ugh', but otherwise that's great.

Believe it or not, I have a friend who didn't think this was terrific in every way.

Palms: @Jason L

Dump him

Littleedge: First Person Shouter is an awesome blog. He and you, Pentadact, are awesome. I dunno how you can keep a blog as awesome as this going.

I found the screenplay funny, but kind of stupid. Nothing on him. I'm a bit biased since I don't like the whole concept.

Little Green Man: DO THE RAP DAGDA!!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. Also, Caps-lock does make me imagine the person shouting in my face.

Palms: @Littleedge

...you don't like the concept!? ... I'm sorry I...I just don't know what to say...

Mr. Brit: Wtf. It's funny, sure. It cleverly spoofs common hollywood cliches and it does the poorly plotted game justice but really? Is it worth all this obsessing? This seems really extreme...

Bret: You couldn’t understand. Only… only the President
of a sinking city could understand.

Littleedge: @Palms

As in "wtf are you talking about" or as in "how couldn't you like the concept?"

I'm just one of those guys who don't like things like that.

Palms: I'm all for people having their own view, some people like tomatoes, for instance. Some don't. But this...this is CAVEMEN!!! Cavemen in the future!!! With robotic arms!!! BUILDING SKY BRIDGES!!!

I think people, including me, think this is awesome, because it's such an amazingly retarded, yet at the same time amazingly ... amazing premise for a video game. It certainly is a break from tradition. But if you don't like it that's fine, I guess it's not for everyone. Maybe one for the cavemen connoisseurs =D

Palms: Seriously, I could just watch the beginning of 2001: A space oddyssey for hours on end. Forget the actual space bit, just give me the cavemen. Lots and lots of cavemen. In fact, I would say that the whole of that movie is AWFUL, but the Cavemen scenes make up for it.

Justice: Such a pity that there's almost no way the game can live up to it's description...

Thankfully Chris is here to help us envision what could have been... :D

Dagda: Here's a longer version for you all. Think I can come up with more, we'll see.

Cavemen, MOTHERF***ERS!
(Listen up to my sound)
We livin’ here in BROOKLYN
(Take a good look around)
We gotta build SKY BRIDGES
(All over the town)
Ya’ll better hold ON TIGHT
(Cause shit’s about to go down)

In the vats at BIT's where
We was born and raised
When they said to build those bridges,
We was hardly fazed
Neolithic engineering
Just one flaw in their plan
Shoulda known they couldn't handle
This much real caveman

My man Jake's a PIT FIGHTER
(I'm a killer, ain't no lie)
Arm lost to a CHAINSAW
(Shoulda seen the other guy)
So he got a ROBOT ARM
(They didn't really tell me why)
Transforms into DIFFERENT WEAPONS
(A hundred ways to make'em die)

Now they say the city's sinking
But we work all the while,
Days spent building, nights spent fighting
True neanderthal style
Tudor courtiers in my grill now
Takin' tea breaks? Bitch, please
Spend my time at the museum,
Hangin' with the OCs

Ispep: I hear they need a new poet laureate soon...
get your application in now :P

that stuff is GENIOUS :D

Mobba: Excellent.

Chijts: I didn't think you could manage to pull off more lyrics, how wrong was I!

Bret: We all learned a lesson today.

A lesson about cavemen and really shitty rap.

J-Man: All hail Dagda

McNostril: A lyrical masterpiece to accompany what will surely be called the most influential movie script of 2009.

CloakRaider: That twist at the end blew my mind.

And I loved the character of THE PRESIDENT OF BROOKLYN.

Nonomu198: Hehehe, nice work, Dagda.

A Concerned Citizen: I'm New here, I came over from FirstPersonShouter though so immediately flocked to this. Good Job Dagda