James

By Pentadact


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Let Tom Francis tell you all what it's like, being male, middle-class and white.
 

 

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"Am I the only one who enjoys the mako combat? I found it nice to be in a pretty easy and fun situation after slogging through all the awesome, but tiring foot combat. I think I had..."

Weird Fish on 2008 In Games That Were Better Than Other Games
 

 

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"Fixed Badlands exploits." Ha! There go all your kills, exploit-o-jerks! "Fixed a case where a spy stabbing from the front of a player would score a backstab." Aw. There go all my kills.
 

 

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The saga of my race of impolitic space-rabbits in a twenty-day game against eleven genius artificial intelligence races.
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Fallout Girl: Anywhere But Megaton

 
 

(Megaton spoilers)

Fallout3 2008-11-13 22-53-32-93

You can tell a lot about people by the armour they wear, and the stuff I prised off the cold bat-battered bodies of the first people I met outside the Vault was classified as ‘Painspike’. The outside world is not hospitable.

Still, I was determined not to just head straight to the town of Megaton like everyone else. All anyone seems to talk about is Megaton this, Sheriff that. I wanted my experience to be different, so I doubled back and headed in the opposite direction. After being shot at by flies (?) and mauled by molerats (!), I finally came to a sheer wall, hopefully some trace of civilisation. I circled it until I came to the entrance. It was Megaton.

Fallout3 2008-11-13 22-53-35-76

I took immediately against the place. The Sheriff was annoying and made no sense - apparently he doesn’t trust me, and the reason no-one’s ever defused the bomb is that he doesn’t trust any of the locals, but he invites me to try. I find this guy’s Vault Loyalty lacking.

Fallout3 2008-11-13 22-53-57-32

I ignore him and head to the bar, where I’m told the proprietor has some information I need. I run into him on the balcony outside. He’ll tell me what I need to know for 100 bottlecaps. I tell him to fuck off. He’ll tell me what I need to know if I do a job for him. I tell him to fuck off. He’ll tell me what I need to know for 300 caps.

There’s an option, at this point, to ask him what happened to the 100 cap deal. I didn’t take that option. I chose to exit the conversation, wait for him to turn round, then put a rusty kitchen knife I found in a toilet between his eleventh and twelfth vertebrae.

His body spasmed a little, and I had time to snatch his computer password from his pocket before it slipped off the threshold and plummeted to the city below. If you’re going to be a dick, don’t do it on a balcony.

Fallout3 2008-11-13 23-12-48-71

On my way out from breaking into the barkeeper’s office for the info, I run into a man who wants me to blow up the entire town of Megaton.

Hm. Okay.

Fallout3 2008-11-14 12-00-12-15

Comment
 
 
Bret: You know, at least Chris had the courtesy to pretend to be reasonable. You know, for a cannibal slaver with more murders to his record than most people have jaywalking charges.

Belcher: But! But! What about all of the missions and fun to be had at Megaton!? D:

spuzman00: Eh. Sounds reasonable to me. I mean, the barkeep IS a dick. He should have learned to be nicer to his customers, then he'd still be alive.

Mike: The barkeep reminded me of Al Swerengen (sp) as portrayed in Deadwood.

Friendly, but ultimately a dick.

Ben Abraham: Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

Bret: On the other hand, the deputy is a robot.

Can you kill a city that would deputize a robot? Is your heart made of stone?

Jazmeister: Its like those people that live on Mt. Vesuvius, though. Ask them what they think about the active volcano they live on, and they shrug. Stupid fucks! Shouldn't live near a bomb then, should you?

palker4: I hope you going to blow up that nuke it is very rewarding nice mushroom shaped cloud a lot of bottle caps and some other bonuses. About that bar proprietor you could have wait until he'll go sleep and steal his password. If you blow that place to oblivion he will be dead anyway.

Roadrunner: Hey, Pentadact, you should do a post where you look at all your commenters blogs, and give a ultra-brief mini review of 1/10.
(My god, we are so desperate for more views...)

Also in FO3, don't people need to eat/drink? I just wish there would be a game so realistic, if lets say for example, someone was talking you to and you began walking around, and jumping on tables etc, they would turn around and say..."what the HELL are you doing?!?"

Pentadact: Just so you know, the way it works here is that your probability of getting linked is given by the worthiness of what you post, divided by the number of times you've specifically asked for a link. At this point you'd have to pen the next Treatise of Human Nature to be in with a chance.

AlexW: Don't divide by. That way one request for a link has no difference. Put the worthiness in a scale from 0 to 1, then subtract the number of times they request a link.

Jazmeister: My blog is here as an identifier, like a social networking site without the social network. It's there incase it's needed, not as a promoter; my blog isn't set up to promote me. Back when we all used to just add to an endlessly growing html journal, it was much more fun; lots of close-knit pockets. Of course, I was 15, and 90% was just crying. We've knocked it down to 50% crying now.

Also, that means you're dividing by zero.

Oh shi-

Noc: @AlexW: Nah, that system works, because a "Hey, link me plz?" post isn't very worthy at all to begin with, so the number starts out properly low. Multiple requests only compound the problem, not create it in the first place.

But on the other hand, if an interesting and relevant comment on a subject contains a link to somewhere interesting or informative enough to be worth reading, and adds significantly enough to the discussion that it's worth another blog post on its own . . . then there isn't really a problem to start with. It's just someone being helpful and informative.

LaZodiac: Amazing. Just amazing. I should rent Fallout3 again and start over as a twisted evil person.

x25killa: You call that being evil? Pfft, I baseball bat the guy using V.A.T.S system over a fence, nick items from his dead corpse, shoot down everyone who was hunting me down for killing a local asshole, killed some more locals, destroy the sheriff using frag mines, killed EVEN more locals, had some beer, killed more, nicked keys, stole items, did missions for moria, complete missions, shoot moria in the face, left town, KA-BOOM.

And the robot? Well, I made it shut up with a kunckle duster.

And in game.

DoctorDisaster: See, I'm playing a generally good-natured character, but I allow for lots of self-interested moral lapses when I can rationalize them. Usually this amounts to stealing ammunition from people too inept to put it to good use, demanding extra money for dangerous services, and in one case letting a firebreathing ant experiment continue because DAMN that queen looks tough.

In the case of Moriarty the 300 caps guy, this meant grinding his annoying Irish face into chili with a chainsaw.

And how the hell did an "Irishman" end up in the D.C. wasteland, anyway? Good thing I cleared up that particular plot hole. YOU'RE WELCOME, BETHESDA.

Matt: @noc
You still get divison by 0. Just use q/(r+1) instead or q/r.

Also, LaZodiac: You only RENTED Fallout 3? It's a very long very big RPG. Did you somehow think you'd be done with it in a week? That's like renting a frigging PC.

LaZodiac: Hey, I'm only 16 and I plan to finish school first. I'm jobless, and I fail at Keyboard controls, and the only Game Pad for the laptop costs around $50.

I wanted to try before I bought. If its any consolation, I have a birthday a month after Christmas, and I'll be getting it then.

 
 

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    Previously, On James...

     
     

    2008 In Games That Were Better Than Other Games     GTA IV Shorts: Cut Off     PC Gamer Podcast: The Future’s Dim     Thoughts On The Team Fortress 2 Christmas Changes     Dear Sir     Extra Mirror’s Edge Levels Blocky, Unrealistic     Dead Space: The Right-Hand Side Of A Good Game     So My Vesper Became Your Chariot     Fallout Girl: The Road To Tenpenny Towers     Revenge Of The Psycho Graverobber     I’m Not Making The Plan Next Time     HERO CLOSET     The Gold Ribbon Goldberg Device     Fallout Girl: Anywhere But Megaton     Bethesda Ruin America     Fallout Girl     Left 4 De-     The American Public Announce That Tom Francis Is Right     Right To Live     Far Cry 2: What I Do Like     Far Cry 2: What I’d Like     Far Cry 2: Impersonation Of A Buddy     New PC Gamer Podcast: Eau De Toilette Radioactifs     Far Cry 2 Released, Forest Fires Up 8000%     !     Deadly Toads Of Death     World Of Goo Is Coming To Steam, Gentlepersons     Trust Me With Your Ears: Volume Three     Plan B Is Complete     The Fate Of The Nation And, More Importantly, My £5     Multiwinia Mathematics     A Stab At Meet The Spy     Clear Screen     Trust Me With Your Ears: Volume Two     Retro Team Fortress 2     Sounds Like The Spy Update Is Next     Status Report     Field Studies 6: The PC Gamer Sporecast     I No Longer Feel I Have To Be James Dean     Plan B Chapter One Is Complete     Field Studies 5: My Spore Review     I Read A Thirty-Eight Page Comic About Google’s Browser     Heroes Of Medicine     Red Versus White     Soviet Power     Plan B Is Live     Trust Me With Your Ears: Volume One     He Looks Truly Mortified     Lumber Yard Wallpapers     Heavy Update Thoughts So Far     Relic Announce That Tom Francis Is Right     Team Fortress 2 Goes To The Rockies     Steel Yourself     Vote Tom Francis In The Games Media Awards     Heavy Update: Sandwiches And Fresh Green Grass     Chris Livingston Stops Considering A TF2 Comic     Seriously, Buy Braid     Braid Is Out On Filthy Consoles     Film Catch-Up     Tweak Fortress     Field Studies 4: Vu To A Thorough Game Demonstration     The Middleman     What’s Happening In Kansas     Mirror’s Edge     Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog     Weltpolizei     The Prop Cigarettes You Smoke, They Show Who You Are     Cutting Verses Down To Size     The Sun Is Shining But We Stay Inside     Mrs D Mrs I Mrs F-F-I, Mrs C Mrs U-L-T     I Propose A Less Serious Vote     Valve Completely Out Of Weapon Ideas, Beg For Help     I Know The Commander Because He’s My Pal     Blizzard Announce That Tom Francis Is Right     Regarding Matt’s Location     Oh My God What The Fuck Barbecue     Cube In Memoriam     Pyro Flare Pistol Thingy Shown In Meet The Sniper     Field Studies 3: My Pretties     Field Studies 2: I Will Save You From The Wangs     Field Studies 1: Sporegasm     Muxed Feelings     You Don’t Have To Be An Engy To Work Here But You Do     Someone Already Made An Ubersaw     Team Fortress 2 Unlockable Ideas     A Riposte To Valve’s Defense Of PC Gaming     Randy Smith Has The Worst Game Design Ideas Ever     Sire, My Regard For You Is This Big     Crysis Suit Modes Revisited     Fractal Hasselhoff And Football Management     What A Shame     The City That Rarely Enters Sleep Mode     The Most Needlessly Complex Terror Plots In Film History     No-One Drove In New York, There Was Too Much Traffic     In One Thousand Two Hundred And Ten New York Minutes     That Band You Like Has A New Thing Coming Out     A Slice Of Fried Gold Rush     Achievement Unlocked: Typed Achievement_Unlock     Bracing Oneself     It’s A Democratic Gaming Landscape, Bitches     Non-Problems Of The Obscenely Over-Privileged     Wanking ‘Not Inappropriate’ To Government Commerce     Dispensing Justice     Getting Owned     This Just In: Frogs Aren’t Morons     Der Uberdoktor     Jon Stewart On Presidential Elitism     I Actually Can’t Stop The Music     Offlyin’     The Life And Inevitable Death Of Bloopi     PC Gamer Blog: Five Years Of Foolishness     Anne Diamond Reviews Games     Fail Dogs     Review: Soulstorm (Fire Indeed Hot)     There Will Be Country For Old Men In Real Life, Baby     The Far Cry 2 Team     PC Gamer Tells Greg Costikyan To Shut The Fuck Up     Valve Decided Against The Overhealer     Austin Translation     Preview: World of Goo     ‘Meet The Scout’ Imminent     PC Gamer Blog: Greatest Videogame Weapon of All Time     Bill Hicks: Another Dead Hero     Vortessence Hangover     Nick Montfort On Portal Vs The Passage     I Eat What I Slaughter     Jonathan Blow On Making Enough Money For Food     Audiosurfing The Shipping News     Team Fortress 2 Badlands Exploit Patched     Lost, Season Four, Spoilers, Obviously     Badlands     James 2.5 Explained     PC Gamer Podcast: March     Chris Livingston Considering A TF2 Comic     Come In     Actors Out Of Context     Murder Incorporated     Books That Make You Dumb     Powered Down For Redesign     New TF2 Maps And Medic Change In Two Months     Molecular Gastronomy Blog     Team Fortress 2 Update Reactions     Things Round Here Have Changed     My Goatee     Things I Forgot To Talk About Round-Up     GalCiv2: Still Genius     Analysing Team Fortress 2     Gamespot Finally Do The Logical Thing     Deus Fucking Ex Fucking 3     Crysis Week: The Endingening     Episode Two Death Maps     Masq     SO… MUCH… CAKE…     On Rock     Review: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare     I’m Not Allowed To Do This     I Played Through The Crysis Demo Holding A Surprised Korean Guy     The Greatest Spy In Team Fortress 2     FEAR: Perseus Mandate Is The Best Game Ever     Hellgate London Thoughts     Beautiful Piano Rendition Of The Portal Song     I Played Through Episode Two Holding A Goddamn Gnome     Pushing Daisies Continues To Be Incredible     Ten Minutes To Go     The Best Three Things On TV     Life Complete     This Just In: The Scout Is A Dick     Not Being A Spy     SO… MUCH… BLOOD…     Weirdly, You’ve Been Tanned - 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