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By Pentadact


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Let Tom Francis tell you all what it's like, being male, middle-class and white.
 

 

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"Am I the only one who enjoys the mako combat? I found it nice to be in a pretty easy and fun situation after slogging through all the awesome, but tiring foot combat. I think I had..."

Weird Fish on 2008 In Games That Were Better Than Other Games
 

 

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This new one is a sci-fi private detective type of yarn, and not as fanciful in some ways as the basics of the last one, but larger in scale and more diverse.
 

 

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Short story about a machine that can tell you how you'll die.
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Field Studies 5: My Spore Review

 
 

skyback

After some dillying, my Spore review for PC Gamer UK went up today. I went at it with more or less the opposite mindset to most of the reviewers I’ve read. Not:

“Okay, this is supposed to be a big deal, but does it really provide a long-term challenge as a serious game?”

But:

“Ooh, what’s this?”

boxling

I didn’t give it a special license to not be a game, in fact I’m pretty hard on the ways in which it fails as one, but I bore with it as much as any other game that isn’t trying to scratch the normal itches. It seems mad to me to compare it to Civ, Diablo, Warcraft or any other Platonic form of the genres it borrows, because it’s so obviously not about those mechanics. The point of comparison, if you really had to make one, would be Second Life. And it fares rather well.

babystealer

We have a little piece of page furniture in PC Gamer reviews that is widely resented among the writers, and often a pain to do: the Thumbnail Review. I thought Spore would be a particularly daunting one to summarise in a few words, but it turned out to fit easily:

“Simplified and misbalanced, but a jaw-dropping safari through the human imagination.”

fucking sackboy

I knew some mags and sites would damn it with the mild praise of a score in the seventies - in fact I thought more would than have. But to me, anything under ninety percent seems criminal and absurd. How could you possibly suggest this experience is optional, or merely decent? It is unprecedented, wild, hilarious and compulsory.

sunset encounter

A lot of people have the game now, so footage is cheap. But here are a couple of things not many people are likely to have yet:


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Chijts: I thought the creature creator would appeal to me for a very long time, but I ended up spending about an hour with it and haven't gone back to it since!

I obviously understand what's going on in these videos, but could you explain what's the purpose of blowing up a planet or teleporting down infront of a giant thingymagig? It looks very interesting.

Idlehands: I brought PC Gamer for the first time in many years, just for your Plan B (which was excellent bravo sir), and heartly enjoyed your review for Spore. This build up to it has been unbearable, but now only 5 more hours until I can play. Does sound like a game to be experienced.

Out of interest will you do a Plan B style diary for Spore in the future? Sounds like it could be a hilarious piece.

Pentadact: Thanks Idle, that's awesome. I hadn't planned on a Spore one, because it doesn't have the normal ingredients for those stories: stakes, challenge, recurring opponents. It might lend itself to a different kind of article along those lines, though.

Chijts: There isn't really a point to either of those actions. If I was at war with someone, blowing up a planet of theirs would certainly help, but those missiles are prohibitively expensive compared to just bombing the shit out of their cities with some of the high-level infinite-ammo weaponry.

MrUnimport: Pentadact, there is but one more thing you have yet to reveal to us!

Is it possible with the full game to create two Sporepedia accounts and upload creations to each of them?

Pentadact: No, it ties your CD key to your Sporepedia account, so it's one account per copy of the game. Were you planning a secret double-life as a Spornographer?

Mr. Brit: Loved the Spore review, got me excited about all the little bits I had no idea about.

On 1fort, there's rather a cool link to a TF2 achievement generator, that allows you to do stuff like this: http://tf-2.fr/ach.php?a=Hot Lovin'&b=Kill 10 Medic/Heavy combos with the flamethrower&c=7&d=10&e=1000&f=2

And in the comments of that post a 'kill notification generator' which lets you do:
http://www.mzzt.net/tf2/light/.....cstasy.png

Achievement generator: http://teamfortress2.fr/achievements_eng.php

Kill notification generator: http://www.mzzt.net/tf2/

(Knowing my luck none of those links will work, in which case ctrl+c)

MrUnimport: No. I have a little sister. Those MONSTERS!

Thomas Lawrence: Will Wright has a tendency to make games that are entertaining toys for a while but lack longevity owing to being inferior games.

Sim City for instance (I'm think here of the first two: Sim City 4 was as I recall, prohibitively difficult) - it was itneresting at first to get your little 'burg set up and installign all the amenities, but quickly you emnded up with loads of cash it it just became a matter of landscaping and town plannign rather than anyhting that really involved much economic thinking.

The Sims' actual gameplay (at least before the multiple expansions) basically involved optimising a daily routine, until you got rich enough that it scarcely mattered how your Sim spent their time any more as they'd always be super-happy due to their awesome stuff. Maintainign friendships was harder, but also unrewardingly grindy. This turned it into a game which was largely about the doll-house elements, or (for the more creative) about constructing elaborate love octahedrons.

It would appear that Spore has similar "problems" - if you could call the "problems" of the most successful PC games of all time "problems". The questions for its long term future seem to be these:

* Does the toy provide enough interesting behavioural permutations to be interesting on it's own?
* Can the game elements of it be rebalanced/patched/expanded to make them more satisfying?
* Failing one or both of the above, can EA churn out enough expansion bits (extra legs, news claws, shinier top hats, new lasers that go BEWW) to prevent anyone noticing?

Unless, of course, Tom is right that observing the creativity of others is more or less enough by itself...

ZomBuster: Hey your Stompwings pay good prices for my Spice :)

Pentadact: I haven't got a proper copy yet, and my review code's expired, but I look forward to running into your civilised Antlion Workers:


Liam C.: Gah, now i read this review i NEED a copy of this game. Think i can get £30 trade in value for call of duty 4 and skate. Maybe halo aswell

The Deleter: Hah! I got the Creature Creator from Game! -5 quid for me! *runs off to purchase*

Lack_26: Well, Game is charging £45 quid for the game, as far as I'm concerned they can F of, I'll buy it on Amazon.

Liam C.: thats only the exclusive game edition. normal is £30

Seniath: I currently have very little desire to play Spore (and very little money too). I fear, however, that the more I am exposed to it, the more that desire will increase (much like that stupid car advert. You know the one). As such, I shan't be reading your review (or anyone else's for that matter) till next pay day; don't be offended!

My major concern is that the RPS chatroom will be full of Spore related talk for the next few weeks. Eeep.

Lack_26: @Liam C.

Oooh, I've got some important stuff to finish this weekend, but I'll buy it when I have time, and I've got the £5 discount for buying the spore creature creator, suddenly in seems a lot more worth it.

Bobsy: Question: in your review I think you said that the tribal stage only has one editor: dress-up for your people. Is there not an editor for your village huts? It seems like quite an obvious ommission.

Pentadact: Nope. They save the building editor for the Civ stage, which is also when you get the vehicle editor, so you go a whole stage with nothing to create, then you're suddenly overwhelmed.

Bobsy: Hmmph. If I were a cynic, I'd muse that perhaps this was a semi-deliberate ploy so that it could fill out a later expansion. If I were a cynic, of course. I'm not.

Dante: I've just realised that Spore is released today in the EU, yesterday in Australia and in two days time in America.

Welcome to backwards land people.

Inferno: I was looking forward a bit to spore but your review really pushed me over the edge and I sit here right now installing it :D I can't wait to see all the random things turning up in the world. Looking forward to any awesome sporecasts you might have a part it (namely the PCG one?)

aberrate: Why is it that your screenshots look so much better than my game ever will? I have it on High on everything as well :(

Chijts: His screenshots look great for any game pic he takes!

Thanks for the heads up Pentadact, it sounds like the game has alot more to it then I first thought. Didn't even know you could create vehicles too!

Lack_26: Because Pentadact blatantly has some sort of massive giant steampunk computer, crewed by a 100 diligent dwarves and dwarvettes and runs from the heat of the earth's core itself. In his giant underground lair he sits and engineers untold numbers of Gogglesharks for his unspeakable armies. His writing skill comes from whipping a 10,000 oxbridge trained monkeys to write his stories for him.

You may know him as Pentadact, Tom Francis or any other alias, but this is only because his true name can not even be whispered, if you tried to pronounce it you would scream for the rest of eternity, as your insignificance in His grand plan is revealed to you.

Basically, that's why his screenshots look so good.

Chijts: Ok. Makes sense to me.

Ludo: Also Fraps, presumably. Though they do look really crisp - that'll be the Gogglesharks.

I want to take that baby Genestealer home. It would eat all my pets, but awwwwww!

PS: Tom, your wierd orange creature is a freak.

Pentadact: Thanks. I thought he was the lamest creature ever when I made him, but there's something about the way he waddles, flails his arms, and eats things with his penis that becomes strangely endearing. Also, the game did a really nice job of colouring the later iterations - the ones with the leaf eyebrows.

I think he was at his best when he had the spit gland that looked like a mouth as his head - the version I actually took to space I'm not so wild about.

Pentadact: As for screenshots, it's sort of my job. And I did have over 3,000 to pick from in the case of Spore.

Dante: I've just got it, played around with the full creature creator and am ready to start but there's a problem.

I can't find Ludo, despite the fact that I know he has and is playing the game (I was talking to him on steam at the time) in order to add him as a buddy.

This is really annoying, as we were looking forward to sharing creatures.

Ludo: To all who can't find friends on Sporepedia with the search bar: swap a creature picture, then drag and drop it into your 'everything' folder. From there you can click on the creator's name and add as a buddy.

If any of y'all have spore then put your Spore username up and share your creations! (LudoMVH for me, DanteMVH for Dante)

Deathspank: Sorry to interrupt, but i must point you to this video, showing an epic and amazing discovery: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI_Pwyy-Mwo

ZomBuster: I see my antlion worker has conquered the comments as it will soon conquer the galaxy!

CloakRaider: I absolutely hate the space phase with a passion.
It just feels like a really shit version of Sins of a Solar Empire but with one UFO and achievements that give you weapons that actually match the AI's.

John: Just been picking through your PCG sporecast; some utterly amazing stuff in there, thanks for collecting it all!

Idlehands: After playing spore I understand and agree with your review. Though I have found something out;
If you play as a religous race the space stage becomes easier. Other races are more friendly to you and are unlikely to start wars. I mention this as if your anything like me you play as a military bastich the first time, wondering why other races dislike you (despite abducting their race and moving them to another solar system for yucks).

Anyway I think the most annoying part of Spore is that it is good, if the game was bad then I could put it aside and play some TF2. But because it is a good game it means I keep playing while the flaws crop up to annoy me (if that makes any sense).

roburky: I'm quite proud of this: I have sent a bear into space in a cardboard box.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/roburky/2833980671/

Pentadact: Okay, short of the Wheelchair, that's the best UFO I've seen.

 
 

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    Previously, On James...

     
     

    2008 In Games That Were Better Than Other Games     GTA IV Shorts: Cut Off     PC Gamer Podcast: The Future’s Dim     Thoughts On The Team Fortress 2 Christmas Changes     Dear Sir     Extra Mirror’s Edge Levels Blocky, Unrealistic     Dead Space: The Right-Hand Side Of A Good Game     So My Vesper Became Your Chariot     Fallout Girl: The Road To Tenpenny Towers     Revenge Of The Psycho Graverobber     I’m Not Making The Plan Next Time     HERO CLOSET     The Gold Ribbon Goldberg Device     Fallout Girl: Anywhere But Megaton     Bethesda Ruin America     Fallout Girl     Left 4 De-     The American Public Announce That Tom Francis Is Right     Right To Live     Far Cry 2: What I Do Like     Far Cry 2: What I’d Like     Far Cry 2: Impersonation Of A Buddy     New PC Gamer Podcast: Eau De Toilette Radioactifs     Far Cry 2 Released, Forest Fires Up 8000%     !     Deadly Toads Of Death     World Of Goo Is Coming To Steam, Gentlepersons     Trust Me With Your Ears: Volume Three     Plan B Is Complete     The Fate Of The Nation And, More Importantly, My £5     Multiwinia Mathematics     A Stab At Meet The Spy     Clear Screen     Trust Me With Your Ears: Volume Two     Retro Team Fortress 2     Sounds Like The Spy Update Is Next     Status Report     Field Studies 6: The PC Gamer Sporecast     I No Longer Feel I Have To Be James Dean     Plan B Chapter One Is Complete     Field Studies 5: My Spore Review     I Read A Thirty-Eight Page Comic About Google’s Browser     Heroes Of Medicine     Red Versus White     Soviet Power     Plan B Is Live     Trust Me With Your Ears: Volume One     He Looks Truly Mortified     Lumber Yard Wallpapers     Heavy Update Thoughts So Far     Relic Announce That Tom Francis Is Right     Team Fortress 2 Goes To The Rockies     Steel Yourself     Vote Tom Francis In The Games Media Awards     Heavy Update: Sandwiches And Fresh Green Grass     Chris Livingston Stops Considering A TF2 Comic     Seriously, Buy Braid     Braid Is Out On Filthy Consoles     Film Catch-Up     Tweak Fortress     Field Studies 4: Vu To A Thorough Game Demonstration     The Middleman     What’s Happening In Kansas     Mirror’s Edge     Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog     Weltpolizei     The Prop Cigarettes You Smoke, They Show Who You Are     Cutting Verses Down To Size     The Sun Is Shining But We Stay Inside     Mrs D Mrs I Mrs F-F-I, Mrs C Mrs U-L-T     I Propose A Less Serious Vote     Valve Completely Out Of Weapon Ideas, Beg For Help     I Know The Commander Because He’s My Pal     Blizzard Announce That Tom Francis Is Right     Regarding Matt’s Location     Oh My God What The Fuck Barbecue     Cube In Memoriam     Pyro Flare Pistol Thingy Shown In Meet The Sniper     Field Studies 3: My Pretties     Field Studies 2: I Will Save You From The Wangs     Field Studies 1: Sporegasm     Muxed Feelings     You Don’t Have To Be An Engy To Work Here But You Do     Someone Already Made An Ubersaw     Team Fortress 2 Unlockable Ideas     A Riposte To Valve’s Defense Of PC Gaming     Randy Smith Has The Worst Game Design Ideas Ever     Sire, My Regard For You Is This Big     Crysis Suit Modes Revisited     Fractal Hasselhoff And Football Management     What A Shame     The City That Rarely Enters Sleep Mode     The Most Needlessly Complex Terror Plots In Film History     No-One Drove In New York, There Was Too Much Traffic     In One Thousand Two Hundred And Ten New York Minutes     That Band You Like Has A New Thing Coming Out     A Slice Of Fried Gold Rush     Achievement Unlocked: Typed Achievement_Unlock     Bracing Oneself     It’s A Democratic Gaming Landscape, Bitches     Non-Problems Of The Obscenely Over-Privileged     Wanking ‘Not Inappropriate’ To Government Commerce     Dispensing Justice     Getting Owned     This Just In: Frogs Aren’t Morons     Der Uberdoktor     Jon Stewart On Presidential Elitism     I Actually Can’t Stop The Music     Offlyin’     The Life And Inevitable Death Of Bloopi     PC Gamer Blog: Five Years Of Foolishness     Anne Diamond Reviews Games     Fail Dogs     Review: Soulstorm (Fire Indeed Hot)     There Will Be Country For Old Men In Real Life, Baby     The Far Cry 2 Team     PC Gamer Tells Greg Costikyan To Shut The Fuck Up     Valve Decided Against The Overhealer     Austin Translation     Preview: World of Goo     ‘Meet The Scout’ Imminent     PC Gamer Blog: Greatest Videogame Weapon of All Time     Bill Hicks: Another Dead Hero     Vortessence Hangover     Nick Montfort On Portal Vs The Passage     I Eat What I Slaughter     Jonathan Blow On Making Enough Money For Food     Audiosurfing The Shipping News     Team Fortress 2 Badlands Exploit Patched     Lost, Season Four, Spoilers, Obviously     Badlands     James 2.5 Explained     PC Gamer Podcast: March     Chris Livingston Considering A TF2 Comic     Come In     Actors Out Of Context     Murder Incorporated     Books That Make You Dumb     Powered Down For Redesign     New TF2 Maps And Medic Change In Two Months     Molecular Gastronomy Blog     Team Fortress 2 Update Reactions     Things Round Here Have Changed     My Goatee     Things I Forgot To Talk About Round-Up     GalCiv2: Still Genius     Analysing Team Fortress 2     Gamespot Finally Do The Logical Thing     Deus Fucking Ex Fucking 3     Crysis Week: The Endingening     Episode Two Death Maps     Masq     SO… MUCH… CAKE…     On Rock     Review: Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare     I’m Not Allowed To Do This     I Played Through The Crysis Demo Holding A Surprised Korean Guy     The Greatest Spy In Team Fortress 2     FEAR: Perseus Mandate Is The Best Game Ever     Hellgate London Thoughts     Beautiful Piano Rendition Of The Portal Song     I Played Through Episode Two Holding A Goddamn Gnome     Pushing Daisies Continues To Be Incredible     Ten Minutes To Go     The Best Three Things On TV     Life Complete     This Just In: The Scout Is A Dick     Not Being A Spy     SO… MUCH… BLOOD…     Weirdly, You’ve Been Tanned - Suspicious For The Winter     Structurally Superfluous     Top of GameTab: Wikipedia Edits From Sony IP     Heroes Season Two     My Favourite Disaster     Quick BioShock Warning     Rock, Paper, Shotgun     British Airwaves     BioShock Review Review     Gollum Beat Box Like You Never Seen     The Machine Of Death Winners     System Failure     The Order of the Phoenix     The Completist: Tribes: Vengeance     Quickly     Boston and Bioshock     Cloak And Tagger     Gamespot Finally Do The Logical Thing     The Completist: Far Cry     This Month In Terrible, Part 2: London Olympics Logo     This Month In Terrible, Part 1: Anti-DRM T-Shirts     The Finale Post     Not The Finale Post     Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa-     Starcraft 2     Grrraaahahahahaa!     Mystery Trip     Access Denied     Invasion of the Body Snatchers     New-Album Deathmatch     Can I Just Say (3)     Back!     ‘Iv’     Desktop Tower Defense     Whoa     Noble Jedis     I Don’t Know About You Folks     Infinitely More Exciting 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First Night, Second Life     Disappointing Results     Maths Cop!     NaNoWriMo     Google Oozes Connectivity     Lost Season 2     Serenity     Oh Screw It, I’ll Mention The Revolution     Flying     Introducing: Brain Storm     Concerned     This Month In Awesome     Rain     SWAT 4: The Movie     On Bringing It     State Of Things     Quest Ideas     Quest Que C’est?     WordPress Wizard     Reasons To Freeze To Death     Phew     Futurama     The West Wing     Firefly     Lost     The Great     The Fantastic     The Top Few     Mulholland Drive     Adaptation     Grosse Pointe Blank     Memento     LA Confidential     Diablo 2     Battlefield 2     Half-Life 2: Deathmatch     Deus Ex 2     N     Morrowind     Half-Life 2     Deus Ex     Charles Darwin     Friedrich Nietzsche     Ludwig Wittgenstein     Tom Francis