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Tweak Fortress
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Not for the first time, a post I was writing - a sort of ideal TF2 patch notes - appeared on 1Blog before I could finish it. In fact, this time Chris even wrote a sequel before I was done with mine.
I agree with all the ideas Chris and his commenters propose. There are lots of small, uncontroversial improvements you could make to TF2, and I know Valve agree with at least a couple of the ones mentioned on 1Blog. The reason they haven’t been done yet is not that they’re potentially problematic, it’s just a question of time and priorities.
But I say these perfectly reasonable ideas don’t go too far enough! I got thinking seriously about my ideal patch notes when Valve admitted the Demoman is “a little out of whack”, then I finally got Kritzed under ideal circumstances, and later started to come up against more teams that field four or five Engineers on Defense.
This is an attempt to fix all the main things that bother me in TF2 with five changes. The last one’s just a good idea I stole from the Steam forums.
- Backburner: +50 health bonus removed.
Update! They just did this!
- Two sub-classes that look almost identical but have crucially different health values violates the clarity and immediacy that is the soul of TF2.
- The Airblast ability is fun. You shouldn’t bribe players not to use it.
- Pyros with this unlock automatically beat Pyros without it, even in a straight fight. That’s bad Unlockology.
- Sticky Bombs: Cannot be detonated until shortly after they affix to a surface. Neutralised if they take damage before arming.
- The Sticky Launcher shouldn’t be an effective direct-combat weapon - it’s already superb for traps, jumps and defense.
- The Demoman’s role shouldn’t overlap with the Soldier’s.
- Engies should be able to defend their stuff from Stickies if they’re only coming in once every couple of seconds.
- I hate that there’s no visual or audio indication of when you’re allowed to detonate a Sticky you just fired. They should light up and go bling! whether this change is made or not.
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- Sentry: Will not attack a target if another Sentry is closer.
- Most frustrating rounds result from impenetrable nests of three or more Sentries.
- Sentry counter-tactics aren’t effective when other Sentries are covering the first.
- Sentry clustering makes Engineers more viable the more of them there are.
- Currently a computer-controlled class does more of the killing than most of the player-controlled ones.
- This is silly.

Best shot ever, by Joe of Massive Crits, via Chris.
- Kritzkrieg: When activated, charge does not drain over time, but is instead drained by each shot the target fires.
- Time-based charge drain encourages a rush mentality, which isn’t effective when the charge offers no protection.
- It also penalises reloading classes, leaving only the same two who also make the best Ubercharge targets.
- Currently an Ubercharge is more effective in almost every possible situation, and the 10% faster charge rate is insignificant.
Comment
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If you're seeking a willing Kritzer for further experimentation, I'm well up for it.
As for the Backburner - hells yes. The thing I enjoyed least about the Pyro Pack was the fact that, after the equality of the first night, I just kept endlessly losing Pyro vs Pyro fights as my opponent had the Backburner, and I didn't. This is a major part of why I haven't played for about a month.