By Pentadact

Yo my name is Gimli and I’m a fucking dwarf
I been slaying motherfuckers from the South to the North
That ain’t Mirkwood I’m chopping with my battle-axe
I’m on an orc stampede like Shadowfax

Now all you Boffins and Bolgers, Bracegirdles and Proudfeet
I’m the skinny hobbit with all the phat beats
My name is Merry and I’m five feet tall
I used to fuck shit up at Brandybuck Hall

Yo, I’m harder than a Mithril coat
A hundred is the number of the orcs I smote
I battled Helm’s Deep and I took Minas Tirith
If you don’t watch out, I will make your ass disappeareth