Porn Shoes, by Tom Francis

	Porn Shoes

	What I love about Porn Shoes by The French is that almost nothing happens in it. It’s about a date, but describes only the moment at which the girl arrives. It’s completely unromantic – they’re not entirely into each other, and the guy’s feelings are neither idealised nor entirely boorish. It’s about small, normal emotions instead of soul-consuming love or crushing loss. The lyrics are plain, so it poeticises the affair solely with music, letting the electric blips and synth ebb suggest the mood and significance. She wore gold shoes with Diamante Like Kylie wore on TV They kept her feeling sexy They were what she always wanted But he thought they looked like porn shoes Like the porn stars wear in porn films “I tried to place as many brand names in there as possible,” Hayman notes, “in the hope that it might get me advertising work.” Comment

	Dave McLeod: Sort of a surreal, British indie version of Dashboard Confessional tracks Hands Down and Remember To Breath, the very genre and style that they are imitating/twisting. I wonder if there's anything else he's attemtping through the brand names thats passing over my head, probably something related to that chorus bit you quote. bob_arctor: Oooh cheers for that. Love the song. Gotta love songs with good lyrics.


		I’d maximised my bonuses and minimised my damage, and by my newly invented Man Metric, I’d won. “Oh!” Susan groaned. I felt empty. ...

By Pentadact