I can’t help feeling like I’ve been played…

OreSome is a 2D strategy game about ore – exploring space for it, fighting aliens for it, blowing up planets with it. Build a network of frames and bots to defeat your enemies – or just throw a sun at them. In a dying, decrepit universe full of foes, build up your forces and mine your way to the top of the food chain to explore further and further out into the void.

By the time you’re ready, you’ll be powering light speed jump drives with stars, building Death Star style super weapons with black holes and in charge of the largest scale mining operation ever known to man – all working for one of humanity’s least scrupulous corporations – and there’s a lot of competition. See http://www.oresomegame.com for more…

It’s a trick taking tarot game where the Major Arcana can change the rules for a hand. Its based on a fantasy world where they literal gamble with their fates using this game. If you are losing a hand and you can’t follow suit you could use a Major Arcana card to switch the hand from high to low and make your partner win the trick.

“Minecraft is a game about placing blocks to build anything you can imagine. At night monsters come out, make sure to build a shelter before that happens. It also has music by C418!”

Nice talk though :)

“How to sell your game to assholes” and “How to answer emails about your game from assholes”

Even in a meta-way. He explained how to explain your game to an asshole in a way that can be understood and absorbed by assholes. Sweet!

Let me try this:

Warlock TV is an arena combat tower defense game. As the warlock, you personally fight alongside your towers against waves of enemies. You’re a contestant in a gladiatorial magical combat game show where they see how long you can survive against waves of goblins, trolls, ogres and orcs. You can freeze giants in front of your towers so they’ll get pummeled, or lay down fields of flame and use pressure waves to push crowds of zombies into them. Every match ends with death, or big money prizes!

(okay, I tagged on a bit at the end).

Well, it’s better than the schlock I wrote before.

“I wasn’t sure if people would notice the slide change here”

That’s easy to fix: paint the added/modified text in orange, green or fuchsia.

In all seriousness though, I think you should update your business cards to say “Tom Francis, Asshole”. I’ve now decided that if I ever need my own business cards, they’ll also state “Asshole”.

PS: Very good presentation – I read it in “Tom Francis Podcat” voice.

Seriously, great job! I’ll keep this in mind for a long time! I’ve always wondered how you guys at PC Gamer can make things sound so interesting while i completely fail at it!

So please know that you may just have changed my life, atleast the capacity of my communication skills! Thankyou sir!

I’m a bad boy.

OK another try:

Dwarf Fortress is a game about building soap towers, a game filled with long term managing action and catsplosions. *kaboom* ENGAGE IN INTELLECTUAL THOUGHT as you beat the system by starting with a DIY that allows you to have iron tools and weaponry at embarkment. ISOLATE your labor force in complicated labyrinths. PIERCE the gates of hell. SEE it all collapse before your eyes. BY THE TIME IT IS OVER the dwarves will not be the only ones with a drinking problem!

I can’t help myself. Though this one is more of a commercial…

@klingon13524 your summary of DF really makes me want to give it another try

In a randomly generated world that keeps track of everything imaginable, you can direct a Dwarven colony until it’s eventual demise, or explore the ASCII high fantasy world as an adventurer. The only goals you have are the ones you set.

IJI is a side scrolling platformer with skills and leveling up. The story, events of the game, and how your enemies react to you, depends on whether you’re being a pacifist or a mass murderer. You play as a young female survivor in the genocide of humans by an alien race. Yeah, you fight back. If you sneak up on your enemies, you can hack their weapons to backfire. Most encounters in the game can be handled without discharging your weapon.

A bit over the limit, but I think this is a great way to explain games I like to other people. Thanks!

(PS: I tried explain Dwarf Fortress first, but my brain froze up just thinking of the possibilities. That game is too awesome for me to express in a few lines.)

You must have to investigate every word you ever use Tom, maybe you are built that way, it sounds like a great skill to own.