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TOM FRANCIS
REGRETS THIS ALREADY

Hello! I'm Tom. I designed a game called Gunpoint, about rewiring things and punching people, and now I'm working on a new one called Heat Signature, about sneaking aboard randomly generated spaceships. Here's some more info on all the games I've worked on, here's the podcast I do, here are the videos I make on YouTube, here are some of the articles I wrote for PC Gamer, and here are two short stories I wrote for the Machine of Death collections.

Theme

By me. Uses Adaptive Images by Matt Wilcox.

Hitman header tunnel

Rewarding Creative Play Styles In Hitman

Far Cry Primal Thumbnail

Postcards From Far Cry Primal

Snowball jack header

Solving XCOM’s Snowball Problem

Kill Zone and Bladestorm

Kill Zone And Bladestorm

BAFTA Featured

An Idea For More Flexible Indie Game Awards

Sectors Header

Teaching Heat Signature’s Ship Generator To Think In Sectors

DXHR Open area

What Works And Why: Multiple Routes In Deus Ex

Heat Signature Natural Numbers

Natural Numbers In Game Design

Pharma Header

Naming Drugs Honestly In Big Pharma

Writing vs Programming

Make A Game Tutorial Thumbnail Featured IMage

Let Me Show You How To Make A Game

New Heat Signature Video: Galaxies, Suction And Wrench-Throwing

Her Story banner

What Works And Why: Nonlinear Storytelling In Her Story

My Idea For An ‘Unconventional Weapon’ Game

From Gunpoint To Heat Signature: A Narrative Journey

The Cost Of Simplifying Conversations In Videogames

Invisible Header

What Works And Why: Invisible Inc

Super Game Jam Header

Our Super Game Jam Episode Is Out

Shadow of Mordor Header 2

What Works And Why: Sauron’s Army

Heat Signature Talk

Showing Heat Signature At Fantastic Arcade And EGX

Projects

What I’m Working On And What I’ve Done

Murder, She Wrote

The Formula For An Episode Of Murder, She Wrote

Heat Signature Wide 2

Heat Signature Needs An Artist And A Composer

Heat Signature Floorplans Header

Improving Heat Signature’s Randomly Generated Ships, Inside And Out

Gunpoint Steam Workshop

Gunpoint Patch: New Engine, Steam Workshop, And More

Distance Header

Distance: A Visual Short Story For The Space Cowboy Game Jam

The Magic Circle

Raising An Army Of Flying Dogs In The Magic Circle

Floating Point Blog Launch

Floating Point Is Out! And Free! On Steam! Watch A Trailer!

Floating Sine

Drawing With Gravity In Floating Point

Fault

What’s Your Fault?

Hoplite banner

The Randomised Tactical Elegance Of Hoplite

Gone Point

Here I Am Being Interviewed By Steve Gaynor For Tone Control

Heat Signature Thumbnail

Heat Signature: A Game About Sneaking Aboard Randomly Generated Spaceships

GRappling Hook Thumbnail

The Grappling Hook Game, Dev Log 6: The Accomplice

Alien Swarm Heroics

A Story Of Heroism In Alien Swarm

FTL Story

One Desperate Battle In FTL

Spelunky Banner

To Hell And Back In Spelunky

Game vs story graph

Games Vs Story 2

Gunpoint Breakdown

Gunpoint Development Breakdown

Max Payne 3

Five Things I Learned About Game Criticism In Nine Years At PC Gamer

This is how you die

My Short Story For The Second Machine Of Death Collection

Clouds

Not Being An Asshole In An Argument

Skyrim Diary - Frostmere

Playing Skyrim With Nothing But Illusion

Mainstream Games

How Mainstream Games Butchered Themselves, And Why It’s My Fault

A-Rock-and-a-Hard-Place-Trio-Jan

A Short Script For An Animated 60s Heist Movie

Dark Messiah

The Magical Logic Of Dark Messiah’s Boot

Arguing

Arguing On The Internet

Spelunky

Shopstorm, A Spelunky Story

Stealth Games

Why Are Stealth Games Cool?

Violence

E3’s Violence Overload, Versus Gaming’s Usual Violence Overload

Suspicious Manifesto

The Suspicious Developments manifesto

GDC

GDC Talk: How To Explain Your Game To An Asshole

Crosslink

Listening To Your Sound Effects For Gunpoint

Happiness

Understanding Your Brain

What Makes Games Good

What Makes Games Good

Seat Quest

A Story Of Plane Seats And Class

Deckard: Blade Runner, Moron

Beneath Suspicion

Avoiding Suspicion At The US Embassy

Open Worlds

An Idea For A Better Open World Game

Level Up

A Different Way To Level Up

BioShock Ending

How I Would Have Ended BioShock

Meet the Spy

My Script For A Team Fortress 2 Short About The Spy

Team Fortress 2

Team Fortress 2 Unlockable Weapon Ideas

Football Manager

Don’t Make Me Play Football Manager

EVE Assassins

EVE’s Assassins And The Kill That Shocked A Galaxy

GalCiv 2

My Galactic Civilizations 2 War Diary

Gnome

I Played Through Episode Two Holding A Goddamn Gnome

Machine of Death

My Short Story For The Machine Of Death Collection

Blood money and sex

Blood Money And Sex

AOL

A Woman’s Life In Search Queries

Second Life

First Night, Second Life

SWAT 4

SWAT 4: The Movie Script

Conversations With Strangers

Update! Some great conversations from the comments added to the bottom of this post (now with moar!)

Last night Waxy.org linked a service called Omegle, which instantly puts you in a one-on-one chat with an anonymous stranger. I tried it.

omegle

I said it “Supposedly” did this when I linked it on Twitter, because I thought it might be a bot coded to randomly insult people, as a joke on the stereotype that people on the internet are twats.

After three conversations, that was still my prevailing theory.

For my fourth, I decided to try and break the pattern by acting like an utter dick first.

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: I HATE YOU!
Stranger: my head hurts :'(
Stranger: don’t be rude i’m sensitive
You: I thought I’d try being the crazy one.
Stranger: thanks, asshole
You: Any… any time?
You: Maybe all the crazy people I talked to were trying the same thing.
Stranger: you’re an inconsiderate jerk
Stranger: what’s your favorite animal
You: This one: http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2009/03/29/otter2.jpg
Stranger: why did you already have that link open and ready, you’re a fucking freeak.
Stranger: WTF
Stranger: THAT’S CUTE
Stranger: LOL

A pause.

You: Did that make your head any better?
Stranger: temporarily, yes
Stranger: thank you for your kind gestures………

I had to admit that it probably wasn’t a bot after all. Which suddenly made starting new conversations strangely compulsive.

Stranger: Jesus loves you
You: I’m just not that into him.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: z
You: zz
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stranger: o herd u liek
Stranger: consensual sex in the missionary position?
You: Yep.
Stranger: hm
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Rah!
Stranger: hello stranger
You: Hello.
Stranger: male/female?
You: I like to start conversations the way I imagine godzilla would.
You: Male.
Stranger: excellent
You: The godzilla thing or the male thing?
Stranger: bothhhhhhhhhh
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You: Hi. I reckon your favourite colour is blue.
Stranger: I reckon it aint.
You: Oh. What is it?
Stranger: My favorite colour is red
Stranger: yours?
You: Probably green.
Stranger: well that tells me alot about your personality.
You: Oh yeah? Red suggests to me that you’re an angry man.
Stranger: quite the contrary
Stranger: a passionate woman
You: I say.

Both Steve and Meteoracle shared shots of their conversations with wildly unhinged racists, and Steve inexplicably turned down an offer of sex with a robot. But one of my favourites was actually recounted to me by someone I was talking to on Omegle at the time:

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: please don’t disconnect
Stranger: i love you

Update! Highlights from the comments:

J-Man:

Amusingly I was talking to a 14 year old girl, and she asked if I was single. I said yes, and she told me it was because I talk to 14 year old girls on the internet.

You: Your appointment to FEMA should be finalized within the week. I’ve already discussed the matter with the Senator.
Stranger: hi!
Stranger: whut?
You: He didn’t really have a choice.
Stranger: who did’nt…
You: When I mentioned we could put him on the priority list for the Ambrosia vaccine, he was so willing it was almost pathetic
Stranger: you did’nt kill him did you?
You: Why contain it? Let it spill over the schools and churches, let the bodies pile up in the streets. In the end they’ll beg us to save them.
Stranger: Lets see… I’m actually kind in to that
You: They can smell their deaths, and the sound they’ll make rattling their cages will serve as a warning to the rest.
Stranger: i love it
You: The world left them behind long ago. We are the future.
Stranger: lets kill m all
You: Our biochem corpus is far in advance of theirs, as is our electronic sentience, and their… ‘ethical inflexibility’ has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.
Stranger: true… true
You: But, I must admit, I’ve been somewhat disappointed with the performance of the primary unit.
Stranger: Well, mine is work. dont know about yours?
You: We’ve had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again. A new age. Aquinas spoke of the mythical city on the hill, soon that city will be a reality and we will be crowned its kings. Or, better than kings… gods.
Stranger: I’m not sure if we should become what we want to be. The goverment is lying about the fact that they will support us. Who will tell?
You: All right. I get the picture. You want a piece of the pie, or you’re going to toss the whole pie out the window. Fair enough. You can have anything you want. How about Europe? Your own continent. Just let me complete my preparations.
Stranger: Go ahead. let my see
You: What an expensive mistake you turned out to be. I’ve ordered the troops to kill you, because quite frankly I don’t have the patience to wait for one of those damn killswitches to work.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

EGTF

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: oh its you! hows it been goin?
You: Oh my it’s you too!
You: Very well
You: How’ve things been since we last spoke?
Stranger: fag
Stranger: go die in a fire
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Ush:

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: *guitar riff* hello
Stranger: *drum roll* FUCK YOU
You: *thousands of people shouting at once* Well thats not polite
Stranger: *people who care* What
You: *a dozen horses screaming in unison* i mean you could have said “hi”
Stranger: * A 1000 orphans crying * I’m Sorry let me start again HI
You: *wind-up monkeys clanging together* Thats better, see? not so hard to be civil
Stranger: *Loud noises* are you from a forum
You: *the laughter of children remixed* Oh no, nasty dirty places they are.
You: *cello solo in an empty hall* where are you from?
Stranger: * 200 african americans* they are nice places to meet new friends
Stranger: *400 cups of tea clanking* im from britain
You: *trumpets blaring* i am from a country quite close to britain
Stranger: *I have ran out of noises* france?
You: *coins hitting a marble floor from a height* nope!
You: *sheet metal being torn* To be honest Im not going to say.
Stranger: * strange gruntiing noises* sweeden
Stranger: * fecal matter hitting porcelain* why
You: *discordant flutes* nope! because I am a naturally paranoid person. whats it like out where you are?
Stranger: * children crying* awful but the weather is getting better
You: *The worlds largest fishbowl being tapped with a hollow iron bar* ’twas a lovely day here! I say, do you like tea?
Stranger: *N/A* No
You: *echoing footsteps* Thats a shame. There is a lot to be enjoyed with a good cup of tea.
You: *A heifer in heat* Take Earl Gray, for example.
Stranger: to be honest i have never had a full cup of tea
You: *Steam whistle* You really should try one you know. Take Earl Gray, for instance.
You: *The dark hum of space* Strong and refreshing like regular tea, but with a hint of lemon that affects your pallette in a completely different way…
Stranger: I see
Stranger: anyway i best be off chap
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT:

You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
You: >What wouldst thou do?
You: >
Stranger: FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
You: >You approach the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, brandishing your sword.
You: >The FUCK YOUR MOTHER attacks!
Stranger: SUCK MY DICK, FUCK YOUR MOTHER
You: >FIGHT >ITEMS >FLEE
Stranger: >FLEE
You: >You cannot escape! The FUCK YOUR MOTHER is far too large!
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
You: >You open up your SATCHEL to ruffle through your ITEMS. You have with you a BANANA, a MICK’S TAPE, and a SMALL ROCK. What woudst thou do?
Stranger: >use BANANA to FUCK YOUR MOTHER
You: >You throw your mighty BANANA at the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, who falls writhing to the ground in agony.
You: >You have defeated the FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
Stranger: FUCK YEAH!
You: >You gain three experience points, and the TOE OF THE FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
Stranger: >QUIT
You: >NO ESCAPE
Stranger: oh shi-
You: >YOU SHALL PLAY FOREVER


Kadir:

You: go
Stranger: get
You: a
Stranger: great
You: big
Stranger: fucking
You: bunch
Stranger: of
You: pickles
Stranger: that
You: smell
Stranger: like
You: they
Stranger: were
You: about
Stranger: to
You: go
Stranger: have
You: a
Stranger: flight
You: of
Stranger: greatness
You: to
Stranger: alpha
You: centari
Stranger: to
You: find
Stranger: ender
You: and
Stranger: his
You: huge
Stranger: influential
You: admired
Stranger: sister
You: who
Stranger: wrote
You: about
Stranger: the
You: war
Stranger: let’s stop right now and agree we need to be friends, okay??

Rob Hale: That last conversation could easily be the entire basis for an XKCD strip.

Tom Francis: Or a novel.

frothy: This was hilarious.

Thank you, I needed a laugh.

roBurky: I tried it after seeing your tweet, and after a couple if incomprehensible conversations, I came to the conclusion that it was a rubbish chat bot, too.

Then just as I started to talk to the chatbot like it was a chatbot, I got a normal person, and I felt foolish.

Patrick: This is the embodiment of

http://penny-arcade.... ...2004/3/19/

Grill: I had a lovely chat with a US student skiving from his Mechanical engineering class, and we bonded over hating all forms of labour.

Either you're all social incompetents or the Turing test has been inadvertently passed, as average intelligence has been lowered to chatbot levels.

nine: Open up one window of omegle and one of elbot. Combine.

http://www.elbot.com/

Theoban: I loaded it up, got a big blank page prompting me to say 'hi', at which point the wealth of possibilities overwhelmed me and I had to close the browser and sit in the corner for a little while.

Jazmeister: Instantly got ASCII art of the pedobear. Next one, in under a second:

Stranger: CHRISTIAN FUCKING BALE!

So I'm going to try pasting that to everybody. The first person I did this to just said "wtf?". I decided to disconnect before the entire affair had crested the ten second mark.

This is great. It's soaking up all my very-tired-talky-spam.

Andy Baio: It was dominated by 4chan kids for most of the day yesterday, who were then reposting all the lulz onto /b/. If you got racist slurs, ASCII art, or any reference to "the game," it was just them messing around.

Jason L: The Net's pretty good, yeah, but I could really use a few more tools for interacting with jackasses. I am an underserved market demo.

Tom Francis: Ahh, that explains a lot Andy. My second theory was that maybe the user pool was small enough that a few abusive loons who never leave were souring the punch.

(PS. Woo! It's Andy Baio!)

MartinJ: I decided to follow up on your "rah!". I'm greeting every stranger with "rah!" and then random "grr ghragh rrr" sounds. It's hilarious how every person reacts differently.

Chris Evans: I am currently having an interesting chat with some India fella about Cricket and F1. Very strange but very cool.

Littleedge: Stranger: asl?
Me: 100/God-like/Jupiter
*long pause*
Stranger: Sounds like an end-game boss
Me: It should be actually...
Me: What should we call the game?
Stranger: BRB FBI

Frosty Chives: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HARD TIMES COMING YOUR WAY
Stranger: WORLD PEACE CANT BE DONE
Stranger: IT JUST
Stranger: CANT EXIST
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I feel enlightened.

Nonomu198: Well, have I had some whacky conversations on there today. Too bad most of them started and ended shortly with "I HURD YOU LEIK MUDKIPS". The internet makes me sad. I satrted greeting people with "fleas", which got me around 10 instant disconnets from scared people. I had a long rather bland conversation with some guy for a long while, and that's about it. The other conversations were the usual "lmao gay butsecks". I took the chance to test my new power of invisablity to trick some people to think I am a really smart bot or the omegle's secret bot. Playing bot is fun sometimes.

Funny stuff:
(after I got a "connection imploded" notiec on my last chat)
You: OMG
Stranger: Hallo
You: MY LAST CHAT
You: JUST IMPLODED
You: I'm in shock
Stranger: MINE TOO
Stranger: gentelmen
You: spy
Stranger: This will be the next time you see mee

Your conversational partner has disconnected.




@Patrick
You see this everywhere on the internet, sadly.

Frosty Chives: I'm talking to a 19 year old lesbian about sexuality. An entirely serious conversation about sexuality on the internet.

I think the galaxy will collapse soon.

J-Man: Amusingly I was talking to a 14 year old girl, and she asked if I was single. I said yes, and she told me it was because I talk to 14 year old girls on the internet.

Frosty Chives: @J-Man
Wow.. She really told you.

ZomBuster: My last conversation was surprisingly civilized:

Me: Hi!
Str: Hi!
Me: Oh thank god a normal person
Str: Oh you got those crazy ones too? horrible isn't it?
Me: Yeh, you know, spamming racial slur etc.
Str: Where do you live?

And then we had a nice convo about the difference of living in Europe and America.

AMP'd: @Pentadact
The user pool is small enough that if you get a bunch of people looking for each other using secret passwords, they will find someone they know.

This might explain a lot to you, actually.

Bret: I think I managed to convince a random internet moron I was an official survey guy.

And I had an elaborate conversation with an individual who either was named Tom or was playing a gag on me in response to my claims to know him. Either way, odd. And fun.

Ush: Thats funny Bret, I've just had a conversation in which I accused the stranger of trying to perform a survey...

I am also curently inviting stangers to play games of Twenty Questions, with only partial success.

Punjab: This one was fun:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Ok stream of concioussness right? Up or down!
You: Gogo!
Stranger: up
You: Sit or stand?
Stranger: sit
You: Yellow or green?
Stranger: of course
Stranger: green
You: Inside or outside?
Stranger: inside
You: Yes or no?
Stranger: yes
You: Mouse or trackball?
Stranger: touchscreen
You: FPS or RPG?
You: touche!
Stranger: fps
You: Light or dark?
Stranger: dark
You: Bean bag or armchair?
Stranger: armchair. im not 14
You: Half empty or half full?
Stranger: emty
Stranger: p
You: Buena Vista Social Club or Jimi Hendrix?
Stranger: Buena Vista Social Club
Stranger: b9?
You: Awesome!
You: Er... lemme think
You: Comedy or action?!
Stranger: comedy
You: Left or right?
Stranger: you gay?
Stranger: right
You: Godzilla or Gojirra?
Stranger: gojirra'
You: Mac or PC?
Stranger: pc
You: Theatre or Cinema?
You: No not gay
Stranger: you a guy?
You: Yes
Stranger: nice dick
You: Circle or Square?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Bret: Oh, got the same guy twice once.

Weirdness. Second conversation went better, really.

Awcko: Well, this seemed to be going well, right up until someone sent me an ASCII Goatse with the words "You just lost the game" in the hole.

Dave_C: I discovered this earlier today and spent about an hour giggling stupidly to myself while I got accosted by ASCII pedobears and ASCII Goatse.cx's.

You may not believe this, but I did have one nice, thoughtful conversation with a Belgian guy about fine beers, CSS and other stuff. Still, it's more fun to act like an insane person.

Books could (and probably will) be written about this.

Frosty Chives: I'd like to talk to someone who isn't a /b/tard.

Bret: I talked to a possibly French guy (or a non French dirty liar) who managed to carry on a conversation reasonably well.

We talked a little TV, some gaming, I pointed out Firefly and Marathon to him for future viewing reading or playing.

Combine that with half a dozen totally illogical and cruel pranks on strangers, and you got a fun afternoon.

Zorgulon: After four or five sensible conversations, and many more trollbaiting and pretending to be the Heavy Weapons Guy to complete strangers to gauge their reaction, I can say without dobut that this is quite possibly the best microcosm of the internet community as a whole.

SenatorPalpatine: the ASCII goatse was very funny and unexpected. It's a lot less scarey in text form.


I had some half-interesting conversations, and plenty of really weird encounters (Stranger: Oh my nipples they hurt! IT HURT WHEN I TWIST THEM
You: that's normal, don't be alarmed
Stranger: Oh
Stranger: How about the bleeding and stuff?
Your conversational partner has disconnected._), but I'm done.

Btw, did anyone notice that the icon from the site had an "ohm" sign in it while it's named OM-egle.

Ush: Otherwise fairly banal...

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: *guitar riff* hello
Stranger: *drum roll* FUCK YOU
You: *thousands of people shouting at once* Well thats not polite
Stranger: *people who care* What
You: *a dozen horses screaming in unison* i mean you could have said "hi"
Stranger: * A 1000 orphans crying * I'm Sorry let me start again HI
You: *wind-up monkeys clanging together* Thats better, see? not so hard to be civil
Stranger: *Loud noises* are you from a forum
You: *the laughter of children remixed* Oh no, nasty dirty places they are.
You: *cello solo in an empty hall* where are you from?
Stranger: * 200 african americans* they are nice places to meet new friends
Stranger: *400 cups of tea clanking* im from britain
You: *trumpets blaring* i am from a country quite close to britain
Stranger: *I have ran out of noises* france?
You: *coins hitting a marble floor from a height* nope!
You: *sheet metal being torn* To be honest Im not going to say.
Stranger: * strange gruntiing noises* sweeden
Stranger: * fecal matter hitting porcelain* why
You: *discordant flutes* nope! because I am a naturally paranoid person. whats it like out where you are?
Stranger: * children crying* awful but the weather is getting better
You: *The worlds largest fishbowl being tapped with a hollow iron bar* 'twas a lovely day here! I say, do you like tea?
Stranger: *N/A* No
You: *echoing footsteps* Thats a shame. There is a lot to be enjoyed with a good cup of tea.
You: *A heifer in heat* Take Earl Gray, for example.
Stranger: to be honest i have never had a full cup of tea
You: *Steam whistle* You really should try one you know. Take Earl Gray, for instance.
You: *The dark hum of space* Strong and refreshing like regular tea, but with a hint of lemon that affects your pallette in a completely different way...
Stranger: I see
Stranger: anyway i best be off chap
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

maybenexttime: I was having a perfectly innocent, if sarcastic, conversation about Omegle which suddenly became worryingly sexual after Stranger cried: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

Stranger: my penis is waggling very happily at this conversation

I made good my escape pretty hastily after that point.

sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
You: >What wouldst thou do?
You: >
Stranger: FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
You: >You approach the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, brandishing your sword.
You: >The FUCK YOUR MOTHER attacks!
Stranger: SUCK MY DICK, FUCK YOUR MOTHER
You: >FIGHT >ITEMS >FLEE
Stranger: >FLEE
You: >You cannot escape! The FUCK YOUR MOTHER is far too large!
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
You: >You open up your SATCHEL to ruffle through your ITEMS. You have with you a BANANA, a MICK'S TAPE, and a SMALL ROCK. What woudst thou do?
Stranger: >use BANANA to FUCK YOUR MOTHER
You: >You throw your mighty BANANA at the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, who falls writhing to the ground in agony.
You: >You have defeated the FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
Stranger: FUCK YEAH!
You: >You gain three experience points, and the TOE OF THE FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
Stranger: >QUIT
You: >NO ESCAPE
Stranger: oh shi-
You: >YOU SHALL PLAY FOREVER

Tom Francis: These are superb, keep 'em coming.

Bret: I think I briefly convinced someone Spiro Agnew was acting president for two days.

So, yeah.

Mr. Brit: Stranger >I stand alone in the rain, I wander aloud; why did he leave me
You >That depends. Did you put out?
Stranger >I gotit out does that count?
You >I don't think so
You > Why do you think he left?
Stranger> Cause I asked him to suck me off then threw up on my shoe
Stranger >A friend helped me home
Stranger >And I stumbled onto the internet
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Mr. Brit: Also, those otters are adorable :D

Joe D.: Stranger: Demomen?
You: Spah!
Stranger: NO WAY

...and so forth. Turns out he plays on the same server as me. Who knew?

Caskwarrior: You: what country are you in?
Stranger: ok
Stranger: wales
You: sweet
You: coal mines ftw
Stranger: you?
You: australia, also coal mines
You: we rape all the fossil fuels
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: LOL
You: hydrocarbons are shit anyway
Stranger: australia lol kaoo land
You: ??
Stranger: nvm lol
You: ohh kangaroos, fucking vermin

Nicolo The Magnificent: I ended up greifing people.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: ?? ???????
You: English?
Stranger: no speak
Stranger: help?
Stranger: no well speak
You: ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT
You: WHAT?
Stranger: ??? ? ? ????
You: WHAT AINT NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF.
You: THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?
Stranger: ;_;
Stranger: ??? ??????
You: SAY WHAT AGAIN
You: I DARE YOU
You: I DOUBLE DARE YOU
Stranger: ??? ??????
You: It's from a movie
Stranger: ?? ?????.
Stranger: IT'S "I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU", you loser.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Can't speak english my ass.

Justice: Stranger: real talk
You: Alrighty then
You: What do you define as real?
You: Serious discussion, or philosophy?
Stranger: Hellman's Mayonnaise

So now we know what the internet thinks!

UberSprode: Stranger: Sup, droog!
You: fettucini
Stranger: yum
Stranger: salmon
You: bacon
Stranger: cheesecake
You: apple fritter
Stranger: devil's food cake
You: eggs benedict, with a side of toast
Stranger: hash browns with scrambled eggs
You: chili cheese dog
Stranger: Shredded BBQ Beef on a Hoagie bun
You: General Tso's Chicken
Stranger: Dick's Burger Drive-In
You: Mashed potatoes in garlic gravy
Stranger: Twice baked potatoes
You: Chicken Alfredo
Stranger: halibut over baby shrimp with a mild curry sauce
You: sweet and sour pork with sticky rice and an eggroll
Stranger: Tempura udon noodles
You: New York style pizza with canadian bacon and pineapple
Stranger: european style thin pizza with ham
You: Gyros and seasoned fries
Stranger: saffron couscous under grilled chicken and veggies
You: pasties
Stranger: ranger cookies
You: whole wheat waffles
Stranger: Thin hot cakes like my dad makes
You: pan fried perogies
Stranger: pan fried scallops
You: Chicken soup with stars
Stranger: Spaghetti Os
You: t-bone steak with A1 sauce
Stranger: Pork Chops
You: turkey pot pie
Stranger: scottish style Meat Pie
You: Coconut malt
Stranger: like I got back in Lybster
Stranger: Chocolate malt
You: german chocolate cake
Stranger: Peanut Butter M&Ms
Stranger: simple
You: lava fudge brownie with vanilla ice cream
Stranger: I gatta go
Stranger: I think you win
You: aww
You: at least I got a good grocery list now
You: thanks :D
Stranger: haha

Kadir: I've been experimenting with using "go" as my first word. So far I've gotten 2 interesting ones:

You: go
Stranger: to hell
You: go
Stranger: home
You: go
Stranger: shopping
You: go
Stranger: in hell
You: go
Stranger: in the pooper
You: go
Stranger: go daddy
You: go
Stranger: go gadget go

You: go
Stranger: get
You: a
Stranger: great
You: big
Stranger: fucking
You: bunch
Stranger: of
You: pickles
Stranger: that
You: smell
Stranger: like
You: they
Stranger: were
You: about
Stranger: to
You: go
Stranger: have
You: a
Stranger: flight
You: of
Stranger: greatness
You: to
Stranger: alpha
You: centari
Stranger: to
You: find
Stranger: ender
You: and
Stranger: his
You: huge
Stranger: influential
You: admired
Stranger: sister
You: who
Stranger: wrote
You: about
Stranger: the
You: war
Stranger: let's stop right now and agree we need to be friends, okay??

Jazmeister: Kadir: That is gut-achingly funny.

sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: You inspired me to start building a piece of interactive fiction entirely written by the spontaneous explorations of the /b/tards on omegle, and my increasingly honed replies. Having notepad open for pasting helps. It's called DEATH KEEP. Thanks chum!

LordNuts: Stranger: Ninja!
You: Oh no, my samurai skills are too low!
You: Can I use my smoke bomb?
Stranger: i you want to.
You: *POOF*

After that I disconnected.

J-Man: I'm a highlight! I feel so special!

Bobsy: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: These are your instructions, agent. There is an envelope taped under your desk.
Stranger: REALLY
Stranger: awesome
Stranger: i'll look
Stranger: you're wrong
You: Inside the evelope is $300 cash and a passport.
You: What?
Stranger: there was an used condom
You: The envelope is gone, huh?
Stranger: oh wait
Stranger: now i found it
Stranger: what to do now
You: Can you check the passport? We've had a bunch of cases where interns have fucked things up.
You: What name's on there?
Stranger:
Stranger: that's what it says
Stranger: country Estonia
You: Shit. It was supposed to be Madame Superteeth.
Stranger: damn
You: THIS ENTIRE OPERATION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED
Stranger: what to do now
Stranger: do i need to burn the envelope
You: Oh, just invade Russia. It's like an all-purpose contingency plan.
Stranger: ok good
Stranger: what should i do there
You: Agent, you KNOW what to do.
You: Signing off.
You have disconnected.

Bobsy: But with a snipped out name in case he was actually giving a real name, natch.

Zig13: You can always trust James to bring you the coolest stuff the internet has to offer. Great job Tom!

Quasar: Hah, what a fantastic website. In my first convo, we debated the merits of various cheese types, ultimately choosing Cheddar as the clear winner. In my second, I spent an hour debating politics with a guy from Ohio.

Interesting social experiment, methinks... There's no rules, really. There are no consequences to what you say, so you can say anything...

J-Man: Turns out few people on Omegle have played Deus Ex.

You: Your appointment to FEMA should be finalized within the week. I've already discussed the matter with the Senator.
Stranger: hi!
Stranger: whut?
You: He didn't really have a choice.
Stranger: who did'nt...
You: When I mentioned we could put him on the priority list for the Ambrosia vaccine, he was so willing it was almost pathetic
Stranger: you did'nt kill him did you?
You: Why contain it? Let it spill over the schools and churches, let the bodies pile up in the streets. In the end they'll beg us to save them.
Stranger: Lets see... I'm actually kind in to that
You: They can smell their deaths, and the sound they'll make rattling their cages will serve as a warning to the rest.
Stranger: i love it
You: The world left them behind long ago. We are the future.
Stranger: lets kill m all
You: Our biochem corpus is far in advance of theirs, as is our electronic sentience, and their... 'ethical inflexibility' has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.
Stranger: true... true
You: But, I must admit, I've been somewhat disappointed with the performance of the primary unit.
Stranger: Well, mine is work. dont know about yours?
You: We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again. A new age. Aquinas spoke of the mythical city on the hill, soon that city will be a reality and we will be crowned its kings. Or, better than kings... gods.
Stranger: I'm not sure if we should become what we want to be. The goverment is lying about the fact that they will support us. Who will tell?
You: All right. I get the picture. You want a piece of the pie, or you're going to toss the whole pie out the window. Fair enough. You can have anything you want. How about Europe? Your own continent. Just let me complete my preparations.
Stranger: Go ahead. let my see
You: What an expensive mistake you turned out to be. I've ordered the troops to kill you, because quite frankly I don't have the patience to wait for one of those damn killswitches to work.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Roadrunner: I was somewhat dissapointed when I found a normal person :(
But this pleased me:
Stranger: hi
You: Hi
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: hi

That continued for a while.

MartinJ: J-Man, I offically hate you. You made me dig up my ancient copy of Deus Ex again... grr

Tom Francis: If you did all that from memory, though, I love you.

Sam: Stranger: you play CS or any other game?
Stranger: or are you just 1337 by birth?
You: tf2 mostly
You: i did a barrel roll as soon as i was born
Stranger: dude. you win in life
You: I just let ceiling cat work through me
Stranger: basement cat is my dealer
Stranger: does that mean we're natural, sworn enemies'ð
Stranger: *?
You: or you're a spah!
You: mmmph, mmph mmm!
Stranger: that made me lol

It helps to know lots of memes

J-Man: Aw thanks, Tom. And sorry Martin. I missed a little bit of Bob's lines, but Walton Simons is my favourite character of all time, so I know lots of his dialogue.

Spy: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Ahem.
Stranger: Ahem
You: Well, this was a disappointment!
You: Just lay your weapons down and walk away.
Stranger: Nio
Stranger: I will resist
Stranger: and survive
Stranger: and kil you, maybe
You: I'm going to gut you like a cornish game hen.
Stranger: Really ?
Stranger: You can't kill me
You: Oh, please!
Stranger: I'm go
Stranger: d
You: Huhuhuhuh
Stranger: Do you know that Jesus was a raptor ?
Stranger: Yeah, a giant lizard, just like you.
You: I never really was on your side.
You: *STAB*
You: Oh dear, I've made quite a mess.
You have disconnected.

Bumface The Brave: Note: A healthy knowledge of US politics helps when you're talking to Americans.

You: be afraid
Stranger: of what?
You: the recession
You: and spiders
Stranger: screw the recession
Stranger: i love spiders
You: woah
You: OMG
You: You're Barack Obama, right?
Stranger: screw that
Stranger: i hate those people
You: Politicians?
Stranger: no...
You: ... Black people? D:
Stranger: no your freaking racist
Stranger: democrats

Robert64: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I love chocolate
Stranger: Jebus?
You: nope, chocolate
Stranger: Not Jebus?
You: nope
Stranger: Shit
You: In fact, I hate him
You: for not existing
Stranger: He loves you though
Stranger: He also loves chocolate
You: He loves chocolate, though?
You: phew
Stranger: He can make it
Stranger: From poo
You: I LOVE JEBUS
You have disconnected.

EGTF: Tom, you've started a dangerously addicting craze. I've learnt about the Beeb, duelled, and had my mother accosted numerous times as well as my sexuality. Plus mind games on a whole new level, where people try to see how gullible I am and I counter with over friendliness. Like so -

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: oh its you! hows it been goin?
You: Oh my it's you too!
You: Very well
You: How've things been since we last spoke?
Stranger: fag
Stranger: go die in a fire
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


Ahh, so englightening.

Frosty Chives: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Ducks have no thumbs.
Stranger: Discuss.
You: Well
You: The problem, you see
You: Is that there is also a lack of hands
You: And other fingers
You: Your thoughts?
Stranger: Quite. Though is it the lack of thumbs or do we have a surplus of thumbs?
You: Aha! You have asked a question as old as time itself, dear boy!
Stranger: And with that I'm off!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mr. Brit: Rober64, DO NOT TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!

Also
Stranger: chris is it iworking
You: no it ain't
Stranger: ha
You: lift it up your end
Stranger: there you are
Stranger: funny
Stranger: so what do we do now
You: I dunno
Stranger: well i have finished the peterson paperwork you will be pleased to know
You: I don't remember that...
Stranger: get back on msn
Stranger: this is weird
You: whats ur email?
Stranger: huh?
Stranger: chris dont kid
You: I'm steve....
Stranger: oh
Stranger: chris said to log on and he would be right here?
You: Well he ain't
You: Geez
Stranger: it is you isnt it??
You: mebbe
Stranger: ha
Stranger: been drinking?
You have disconnected

I am neither Chris nor Steve

Flowerpot Wang: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hello, I am God
Stranger: hi god
You: hai
You: wassup dawg
Stranger: sorry but i dont believe in god
You: *poof
You have disconnected.

Mr. Brit: Ok, Robert64 if you weren't the guy I spoke to, ignore my above comment. I just ran into another guy who opened with 'I like chocolate' and it might have been him the first time :P

Roadrunner: I'm not going to post it, but I just opened one up. I said hi.
he said hi.
Then he posted a brilliantly but disgustingly crafted piece of ASCII art... It was Goatse with "you lost the game" in the anus.

Robert64: @ MR.Brit: I chose to start with I love chocolate because 3 times of 10, the stranger started the conversation with it. Either it was a craze sweeping the users, or it was one person exploiting a failed randomizing algorithm.

Robert64: Posted this just for the end:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: what's the best sex you ever had?
You: With you last night, my stallion
Stranger: Oh thanks
Stranger: Is it you Susan?
Stranger: :)
You: Yes, of course
Stranger: GREAT
Stranger: Ive been looking for you
You: Hang on, is there someone else?
Stranger: did you get the email
Stranger: cause Im not sure it went through
You: Yes, it was... riveting
Stranger: great
Stranger: hehe
Stranger: so...
Stranger: how did it go with james
You: WE DID NOTHING! I SWEAR!
You: I mean, fine
Stranger: ure so crazy
You: That's why you love me
Stranger: "stallion"
Stranger: :D
You: Just, I was going to go to... somewhere with James tonight, so I will see you tomorrow
Stranger: what about tht thing we talked about eralier
Stranger: if there is something you wanna try
Stranger: something new
Stranger: speaking of stallion
Stranger: ;)
You: Just, not tonight
You: I'll be with James, doing nothing at all suspicious.
Stranger: hmm
You: (OOC) BTW, my name is james
Stranger: Youre not susan

Roadrunner: the /b/tards have invaded :(

Stranger: a/s/l?
You: 1464/ent/middle earth
Stranger: TOO OLD
Stranger: ………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_
……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
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..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
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…….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
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……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’
………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
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………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
…………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’…………………’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,,
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……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,,
………………………………………………..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ,,_ ; ;’-,’’-,
…………………………………………………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,__,--.
……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ , ,|, |
………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘

Feel free to get rid of that ascii there.

AlphaTM: Stranger: hi
You: iH
Stranger: like polish men?
You: ?nem hsilop ekiL
You: ?olleH
Stranger: why you writing from backside?
You: What do you mean "backside"
You: thats incorrect grammar
Stranger: so what is correct?
You: now drop and give me twenty
You: DO IT
Stranger: why?
Stranger: i don't have twenty...
You: YOU DO NOT QUESTION ME
You: UNLESS YOU WANT A CRACKED SKULL
You: MAGGOT
Stranger: r u ok?
You: NOW GIVE ME TWENTY
You: "R U"?
You: PROPER GRAMMAR
You: MAGGOT
Stranger: are you teacher?
You: NO
You: I AM YOUR SERGEANT
You: NOW GIVE ME TWENTY
Stranger: i'm not a soldier
You: YOU ARE NOW
Stranger: in wich formation?
Stranger: or division
You: THE MARINES
Stranger: i really wish to go there!
You: april fools lolololol

I... Don't know what came over me there.

Nathan: Stranger: Hi
You: hi there
You: how are you
Stranger: Fine, You?
You: pretty good
You: you're not a troll, are you?
Stranger: Ofc not
You: good
You: too many of those around today
Stranger: Ask my friend, Rick:
Stranger: ........................................................................... .................,-~~'''''''~~--,,_
........................................................................... .........,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
........................................................................... ....,~''::::::::',::::::::::::::::::::|',
........................................................................... ....|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
........................................................................... ....'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
........................................................................... ....|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
........................................................................... ...(_''~-': : : :::o: : : :o: : :
........................................................................... ....'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
........................................................................... ........|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ --NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!
........................................................................... ...,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
........................................................................__, -';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
...............................................................__,-~'';;;;; ;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :',__
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Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jazmeister: My mum was on this, it was great. She and my dad were sitting around their little laptop and my mum kept posting Burns poems to some poor stoner in ohio. Eventually he said something like "r u a nigger" and she was like "Once you've had black, you don't go back!". It was great. This is great. These are all great.

I'm stuck on my little real-live adventure game kick, though. It's like playing games in reverse!

Senock: You: Hello
You: Hello?
You: Are you still there?
Stranger: hi
Stranger: sorry I had bacon grease on my hands
Stranger: had to wipe it on something
You: That was something i hardly needed to know]
You: Oh well
You: Bacon is delicous isnt it
Stranger: yeah but this bacon is really fatty
Stranger: I have a piece of grizzle stuck between my teeth
You: Ahhhh the cheap stuff huh
Stranger: no this was $10 for 5 pieces
You: Why is it that the only people ive talked to on this thing are pretty sane
You: I want some frikkin insane people to talk to.
You: ...
Stranger: I'm kinda insane
Stranger: I am married to my cousin
You: I just realized I am becoming an insane person
Stranger: ohweally?
You: OMG you live in the deep south dont you?
You: Like an alabamian (if that is how you spell that)
Stranger: Alabama
Stranger: Whoa good guess
You: Sweet lets discuss various methods of hogtying and whipperwallin Yipee yee haw
Stranger: suuuueeeiiiii
Stranger: thats my pig call
Stranger: i won 1st price this year
You: Nah Im lying I dont actually hog tie anything and I am ashamed because of It
You: "sad face"
You: How did you find this website?
Stranger: you dirty rotten scoudrel, I oughtta tie you up and call Hank to come with the shotgun, but use bacon grease insteada bullets
Stranger: my uncle charley has a personal computer
You: Oh snap The Feuds Back on, HONEY GET YOUR CHILLINS OUT OF THE BATHTUB AND HEAD UP TO AUNT FRITZYS TO WEATHER IT OUT
Stranger: i only has one kid
Stranger: hes a good boy
You: Sooooo... Truce?
Stranger: awww shucks, okay
You: Then let this mark the glorious day of our everlasting union between YOU and STRANGER!!!
You: Right on!
You: Man that bacon grease must be one greasy sons o guns that ever did curse the nimble fingers of STRANGER
Stranger: if yur ever in Alabama drop on by for some corn fritters and apple pie
Stranger: and maybe even a hog
You: Yippee yee haw to that good buddy
You have disconnected.

condemnedsnowman: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: go
Stranger: Pawn to C-3
You: king commits sepuku
Stranger: Fuck, now how do I win
You: lol
Stranger: Cheating bastard
You: battle royale
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Kadir: More go:

You: go
Stranger: Quick!
You: Faster!
Stranger: hide under the covers!
You: They're coming!
Stranger: keep the lights on!
You: no don't!
You: turn them off, we'll be spotted!
Stranger: they can't leave the shadows!
You: They've done it before!
Stranger: if the lights are off, WE ARE IN SHADOW!
Stranger: oh god
Stranger: when? how?
Stranger: we're fucked
You: uh oh
You: here they come
You: SHIIIIIIIIIIII
You have disconnected.

You: go
Stranger: suck
You: my
Stranger: cock
You: or
Stranger: my
You: aunt's
Stranger: best
You: biggest
Stranger: plant
You: with
Stranger: ten
You: of
Stranger: the
You: best
Stranger: plumbers
You: in
Stranger: my
You: lifetime
Stranger: but
You: after
Stranger: that
You: go
Stranger: see
You: jane
Stranger: doe
You: and
Stranger: kill
You: her
Stranger: or
You: her
Stranger: and
You: john
Stranger: with
You: a
Stranger: nutty
You: fiery
Stranger: because
You: I
Stranger: hate
You: your
Stranger: jewish
You: food
Stranger: it
You: tastes
Stranger: like
You: a
Stranger: ballsack
You: covered
Stranger: with
You: feces
Stranger: from
You: your
Stranger: mothers
You: big
Stranger: fat
You: asshole
You: the end
You have disconnected.

You: go
Stranger: stop
You: start
Stranger: finish
You: begin
Stranger: end
You: alpha
Stranger: zeta
You: a
Stranger: z
You: 1
Stranger: 9
You: uhhh
You: hell, you win
You have disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: go
Stranger: Stop
You: start
Stranger: finish
You: dark
Stranger: light
You: straight
Stranger: gay
You: qwerty
Stranger: poiuy
You: 123
Stranger: 456
You: christianity
Stranger: SATANISM!
You: good music
Stranger: bad music
You: UPPER CASE
Stranger: lower case
You: Insert Home Page Up
Stranger: Insert Home Page Down
You: windows key
Stranger: apple key
You: opposite
Stranger: is the word of the day!
You: it's opposite, opposite, opposite day!
You: happy april 1st!
Stranger: April Fool's!
You have disconnected.

Lack_26: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

No one wants to talk to me.

Lack_26: Yey, someone talked to me. Extract

"Stranger: I'm in a glass cube
You: You're not David Blaine by any chance are you?
Stranger: maybe I am
Stranger: I don't think so
You: He sat in glass cube over the Thames
You: Everyone threw eggs at him
Stranger: why - did you want to throw sausages at me?
You: No, just bacon."

J-Man: I'm a highlight twice! I feel super-special!

Ludo: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: where is the love?
Stranger: What ? xD
Stranger: My Love in my Foot^^
You: wow awesome
You: how??
Stranger: Dont know xD
You: dude that is whack
You: do you know where mine is?
Stranger: no
Stranger: xD
You: bugger
Stranger: lol
You: always annoying when I lose the love
Stranger: lol
You: I FOUND IT
Stranger: where?
You: It was in my EAR. I mean, wtf
Stranger: lol
You: I don't know how it got there but I'm happy now
You: Thankyou for helping me find it :D
Stranger: xD ok r0fl
You have disconnected.

Okimin: I am trying to get people play a text adventure. It doesnt seem to be working

Joe D.: Keep trying, Okimin. Try starting with the first line of Zork. It works for me.

Jazmeister: I use notepad for easy pasting, and when they disconnect, pore over the chatlog for any chunks of exposition i can re-use. It's fun to let the experiences of past players shape the current game world, especially if you let their actions and corpses persist. It's just hard to organise. Makes me wanna dig out that PCG tutorial and just make a legit text adventure.

Anyone find any ad-bots or marketers on there? What about positively identifying people you already know?

Redhawk: I started trying to be a dick in one of the conversations but the guy said he was Cajun and he spoke French and seemed awfully polite. I felt guilty and disconnected.

Dan: This is the greatest thing ever and the rubbishest.

The majority of random guys you end up talking to are searching for girls to chat up. The majority of random girls I end up talking to I can't help but attempt to chat up.

It's interesting to try new things with conversations.

Really though, this is nothing but an instant chat service. Chat was already anonymous and with strangers...just the strangers had names.

Dan: Ok. I take back what I just said as I just had a seriously awesome conversation with someone. Then the bloody thing crashed. I'll never speak to that person again which I find stupidly depressing, especially since we were both having a great conversation.

C'est la vie I guess.

An even better Dan!: Stranger: im going to be frank, the ass sex doesnt sound very pleasant at all.
You: im going to be mary, and tell you that it DOES

Bobsy: Taking the idea of text adventuring again:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: It is very dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
>
Stranger: turn on lamp
You: You turn on your LAMP.
You are in a dark corridor. Exits are NORTH and SOUTH
>
Stranger: n
You: You go NORTH.
You are in a plush bedroom. There is a television in the corner, and a packet of cigarettes on the bedside table.
>
Stranger: look at cigarettes
You: Looks like an ordinary pack o' fags. There is a government health warning on the side which states "SMOKING SERIOUSLY MAKES BABY JESUS CRY, SO DON'T DO IT, FOOL"
>
Stranger: smoke cigarette
You: You don't have a light!
>
Stranger: verbose
You: I'm sorry I don't know how to "verbose"!
You are in a plush bedroom. There is a television in the corner, and a packet of cigarettes on the bedside table.
>
Stranger: look for matches
You: You search the bedroom carefully. You do not find any matches, but you find a TOTALLY SWEET LIGHTER under the pillow. What a fire hazard!
You pick up the TOTALLY SWEET LIGHTER.
>
Stranger: smoke cigarette
You: You fire up that bad boy and take a few experimental puffs. Ugh! Menthol!
As you smoke you hear a sinister rumble of thunder from above.
>
Stranger: look at totally sweet lighter
You: Wow! The TOTALLY SWEET LIGHTER is in the shape of a dragon. Now that is METAL!
You have gained a new skill: ROCK OUT
There is another rumble of thunder.
>
Stranger: take cock from pants
You: You take the COCKERAL from your pants. You're not exactly sure why you keep it there, but it clucks appreciatively.
>
Stranger: rock out
You: You hold up the lighter and start to mosh vigorously around the room. ROCK! ROCK! RAAAAAGH!
The COCKERAL looks at you with wise approval. You gain 5 COCK POINTS.
>
Stranger: turn on tv, turn tv to Headbanger's Ball
You: You turn on the television, but all you get is static. Terrible, wonderful, hypnotic static. The COCKERAL is mesmerised by the screen.
>
Stranger: are they here?
You: The COCKERAL turns slowly and fixes you with a cold, expressionless poultry face. It clucks something at you, but you do not have enough COCK POINTS to activate your CHICKENTALK skill.
>
Stranger: stroke cock
You: You stroke the COCKERAL. It barely seems to notice.
You gain 1 COCK POINT.

Stranger: invent internet, hypnotize cockeral
You: The COCKERAL is already hypnotised! Your efforts are in vain.
The internet has already been invented! You are not fooling anyone. Except maybe GWB.
>
Stranger: give cigarette to chicken
You: You give the COCKERAL a CIGARETTE.
Even in its hypnotic torpor, the COCKERAL is drawn to the prospect of Sweet Maiden Nicotine, and starts smoking. Impressive, considering it hasn't got any fingers or thumbs.
There is an even louder rumble of thunder.
>
Stranger: hail satan!
You: You hail satan.
There is an almight explosion from above which shatters the ceiling and throws you across the room. In a second the plush bedroom is set into a blazing inferno, engulfing television, cock and cigarette pack alike.
>
Stranger: defile the cockeral corpse
You: You defile the DELICIOUS ROAST CHICKEN. It doesn't make you feel any better. You lose all your COCK POINTS!
You are on fire! You are burning fast!
>
Stranger: piss on myself
You: You try to wee, but nothing comes out. Desperately you try to remember when you last had a drink. Oh man, it was ages ago!
You are on fire! You are burning fast!
>
Stranger: accept christ, an hero
You: You accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your saviour.
It begins to rain.
You are on fire! You are burning fast!
>
Stranger: go out into rain
You: You walk out in the rain, putting the fire out. Phew!
Out of the corner of your eye you notice a few loose CIGARETTES that have somehow survived the blast.
>
Stranger: get cigarettes
You: You pick up the remaining CIGARETTES. Mmmm... You could sure use a smoke after all that, right?
>
Stranger: smoke cigarette
You: You smoke a CIGARETTE. A second blast of lightning hits you directly, flash-frying you in an instant. As you smoulder on the floor a heavenly voice from on high whispers: "Told you it made me cry."
You are DEAD! Final score 3/50
Thankyou for playing!
Stranger: load autosave

Chijts: Bobsy dude did that really happen? Did you make that up beforehand?? That was totally awesome, and if you made that all up on the spot my hat goes off to you sir, and to the stranger.

Okimin: oh my god. I pledge to you good sir.

Bobsy: Yeah, totally improv'd. This is the way all text adventures should play. I get totally narked off every time I try my hand at any IF because it won't recognise my rather wordy commands. Every time it claims to not understand what I've typed I get angry. This is why I like MS Paint Adventures.

Bear in mind that I tried the "you are likely to be eaten by a grue" line about five times before this one, and got only A/S/L for my troubles. This one guy that actually played along obviously wanted to continue, but I needed to actually do some work instead.

Bobsy: Huh, for some reason there's a bit missing in between >stroke cock and >invent internet. It reads:

Stranger: lose 2000 Florida election

You: You lose the election due to some fuss about hanging chads. Eight years later your election campaign is forgotten but people respect your environmental initiatives.
The COCKERAL voted republican. And it knows you know it.
>

Which makes the next command make a bit more sense.

Bobsy: You: Control, this is serious. I've lost most of my team. Alpha 3 and I are all that's left.
Stranger: OMG.
Stranger: EWW
You: Can you send assistance?
Stranger: GAMER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

That's right! We ARE second-class citizens!

Barotte: I'm afraid I never managed to save the conversation, but I can recreate it from memory:

Stranger: What's the time?!
You: 10:14, my friend
You: AM
Stranger: We're both in the UK!
You: Well, I'm in Scotland! >:D
Stranger: :-o SO AM I!
You: Woaaaah, sweet
Stranger: Where about are you?
You: I'm in Falkirk, between Glasgow and Edinburgh
Stranger: oh my god... i'm there too!!!!
You: Hahaha, prove it.
Stranger: Well, I'm sitting in Graeme High School
You: WHAT
You: THE
You: HELL?!?!?!
You: I'M THERE TOO.

Turns out it was a guy who's two years above me at school sitting in the School library. We were mildly acquainted, I made my way to the library and we embraced.

I am serious. What are the damn odds?

Barotte: Okay, I'm pretending to be a guy named Derrick, here.

Stranger: YO!
Stranger: stranger whats up
You: Hey, I'm Derrick!
Stranger: DERRICK!
Stranger: You seem fuckin chill
You: That's because I am
Stranger: we should arrange a meeting
You: I am the fuckinist Chilliest guy there is.
You: Your house, 6pm?
Stranger: shit thats chill
Stranger: wait
Stranger: is derrick a guys name
Stranger: are you a guy
You: Is that a turn-off? :(
Stranger: since i am a man
Stranger: yes
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Chijts: To be in the same place at the same time aswell, that's just madness. Who'd have thought this Omegle thing would be so entertaining?

ClOGS: Stranger: hi
You: no
Stranger: asl
You: ???
You: WHAT dO yOU MENA?
You: oh
Stranger: 21 male holland
You: OMG
Stranger: you
You: 21 female holland
Stranger: haha
Stranger: ait
Stranger: :P
You: wait
You: I forgot
You: what was our secret plan to take over america again CLOGS AND CHEEESE
Stranger: i dont care
Stranger: are you horny?
You: IF YOU DONT TELL ME I WILL TAKE MY WOODEN SHOES AND KILL YOU
You: IN HOLLAND

CloakRaider: You: HURGUGHGH
Stranger: HELLO
You: Hello there.
Stranger: how are you
You: I SWEAR HE FELL I DIDN'T PUSH HIM
You: I mean, fine.
Stranger: ...that's good
You: Excellent, first let me just say thisYour conversational partner has disconnected.

Jazmeister: Favourite response to a/s/l: 13/f/canada.

Awesome stuff Bobsy! I get a lot of rejects.
I tried letting everyone's corpses pile up in the entryway to hell, with things they've said, like "brasil?", somehow scrawled on their arms or in the nearby marble. Lots of people disconnected when they saw a dead guy, though.

I'm also messing around with acting as a proxy between two Omeglers, not quite sure how to make it really fun yet.

Bret: Got a mildly interesting failure
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
Stranger: sex
You: With what?
Stranger: wouldnt you like to know
You: Wouldn't you like to know is not a recognized object.
Stranger: obviously
You: Obviously is not a recognized object. Did you mean Oblong?
Stranger: no
You: You do not have a "No" in your inventory.
You: A grue draws closer.
Stranger: guess
You: You are eaten by a grue. Your score: 0/50. Try again?
Stranger: i duno what your saying
You: "duno" is not a recognized command.
Stranger: DONT KNOW=dunno=duno
You: "Duno" is still not a recognized command.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Text adventures are fun.

Ludo: Wow I just had a lovely chat with a normal person on Omegle! I was surprised. It was actually sort of touching to have a genuinely interesting conversation with someone I've never met, and will never meet again. Makes enduring the 4Chan crap kind of worth it.

Ludo: You: wow you like meat pies? most american's I've spoken too find the idea crazuy
Stranger: Yeah man they taste awesome
Stranger: I heard about cornish pasties too, never had one but want to try
You: mmm I like a steak and ale pie with a pint of beer
You: cornish pasties are like a meal in a bit of pastry
You: potato onions and meat in a big lump basically lol
You: as I said, not subtle!
Stranger: http://thisiswhyyour... ...efat.com/
Stranger: check that stuff out, that's whats wrong with america
You: lol oh my god that two pound mcdonalds cheeseburger is insane!
Stranger: I saw a huge pirate ship made out of like 10 types of meat
You: :O

Okimin: I've been trying to start that Patrick Bateman Huey Lewis and the news monologue but they keep leaving to early ) :

Bret: And one more for the road.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: ...
Stranger: Hey
You: ...
Stranger: ...
You: ....
Stranger: Zalgo?
You: .....
Stranger: Do you liek mudkipz?
You: ...
Stranger: This is a brilliant conversation
You: ...
Stranger: I feel like a better person for having been involved in this conversation.
You: ........
Stranger: They're coming for you David.
You: ..........
Stranger: You're name might not be David, but DAMN that would've been fun!
You: ..
You: .....
Stranger: Are you doing the whole mysterious stranger thing?
You: .............
Stranger: Resistance is futile!
You: .
Stranger: ....
You: .....
Stranger: GIRUGAMESH!
You: ........
Stranger: Ole' man river.
You: ...
Stranger: What has science done?
You: . ...
Stranger: I grow weary of this line of enquiry.
You: .
Stranger: You play WoW?
You: .. ..
...
..
Stranger: Lulz
Stranger: Ik hou van jou
You: .....
Stranger: Do you ever think how truly unimportant we are in the overall scheme of the universe?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Baggie: Man, every 2/3 people are looking for women on this thing now.
However I got a REALLY awesome ASCII mario just then, so I'll continue.

Spy: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: my steam's broken and I need to talk to some equally stupid individuals
You: do you fit the profile
Stranger: sure thing
You: okay
You: put this top hat on
You: and do a little dance
Stranger: so your are playing counterstrike?
Stranger: running amok any time soon?
You: put the hat on
You: do a fucking dance
You: right
You: now
Stranger: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR
You: PUT THE HAT ON
You: DO
You: THE
You: FUCKING
You: DANCE
Stranger: you are a nigger?
You: PUT
You: THE
You: HAT
You: ON
You: DO
You: THE
You: MOTH
You: ER
You: FUCK
You: ING
You: DANCE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Dan: LOL?

Caleb: Stranger: hey
You: hi
Stranger: how are you today?
You: I'm Swedish Batman, who are you?
You: i'm good
You: i mean, i'm Swedish Batman, of course i'm good!
You: The question is...are you good?
You: Because i'm making a list
You: I'm checking it twice
Stranger: oh
Stranger: ok
Stranger: got it
You: I'm gonna find out who's naughty or nice
Stranger: night?
You: SWEDISH BATMAN'S GONNA EFF YOU UP

(it's funnier if you sing the final line as part of the tune too)

Caleb: Someone needs to start a bash.org like site for these things

You: stop it!
You: stop using up the internet!
Stranger: ?
Stranger: okay
Stranger: hahaha
You: it's a precious, non renewable resource!
Stranger: u should too
You: once it's gone, we can never get it back!
You: oh shit you're right
Stranger: i kno
You: uh oh
You: i've been using up the internet too!
Stranger: thats y i dont spend a lot of water
Stranger: so i can use internet
You: what if the internet police find me?
Stranger: with no remorse
You: oh good tradeoff
Stranger: yup
You: hmm
Stranger: u better hide
You: i'll have to find something to give up in exchange for internet
You: oooh, i know! I'll give up my social life!
Stranger: maybe im a internet cop
You: 2 birds, one stone
You: hides me from the cops, and it lets me use the internet without remorse
You: oh shit
You: are you?
Stranger: well, i wont tell u if im duh
You: haha well i'm Internet Batman! *INTERNET BATARANG TO THE HEAD*
Stranger: hahahahaha
You: *sneakily dissapears*
You have disconnected.

Caleb: The more i sit here on Omegle, the more disturbing i find myself becoming. Seriously. Sorry if any of you ended up opposite of me on it.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ello
You: want to swap tartar sauce?
Stranger: no, quite like mine
Stranger: thanks tho
You: ok, that's cool
You: ....
You: so....
Stranger: what a strange question
Stranger: so
You: well, it IS the internet
Stranger: true. and anonymous
You: yup
Stranger: you can say whatever the hell you want on here
You: i could say anything
You: i could even say...
Stranger: you could
You: poop
You: (see, i said it)
Stranger: shit thats what I was gonna say
You: oh shit
You: sorry for stealing your thoughts
Stranger: where are you shitting from today/
Stranger: thats ok
You: the....aaaaannnuuusss
You: no, actually
You: i got shanked yesterday
Stranger: where in relation to nz is that?
You: in the colon
Stranger: thats rough
You: so all the feces is coming out that hole
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mechanolatry: Here are a few of mine:
Stranger: hey
You: i made pancakes!
Stranger: sick, love pancakes
You: WOW
You: are you a psychic?
Stranger: def
You: cause i just totally got sick all over the keyboard.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mechanolatry: Stranger: So I walk in to this bar.
You: i am the stranger!
You: killing an arab!
Stranger: OH!
Stranger: How?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mechanolatry: My first:
Stranger: hi !
You: my fingers smell like butt.
You: do you like cookies?
Stranger: I love cookies
You: i dont... but i do love me some bile!
You: mmm
Stranger: what bilis ?
You: bile
You: vomit
You: yums yums in my tum tums
You: do you like puppies?
Stranger: hum,where are you from ?
You: they taste good too.
You: im from Canadia!!!!
Stranger: i like puppies
Stranger: very nice
Stranger: how old are you ?
You: cats arent any good though.. too much fur and then there is no meat on them!
You: old enough to pee by myself
You: (when no ones looking)
You: but sometimes they dont let me out of the room
You: and i have to pee on myself
You: that sux
You: unless i can vomit too!!!!
You: then i am happy!!
Stranger: i'm happy too
You: good!!!
Stranger: i'm very happy
You: what makes you so happy?
You: do you stab things?
You: why are there all these bugs crawling on me?
You: WHYYYY
You: what did i do to them?
You: nothing!
You: but they come in my house as if they own the place
You: even neighbours dont do that!!
You: but those bugs...
Stranger: I understand you.
You: i dont.
You: will you marry me?
You: i have to ask the doctor first, but I'm sure it is good for me!!!
Stranger: do not know, I think
You: you..
You: you are hesitating???
You: YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE??
You: I HATE YOU
You: YOU JUST WAIT TIL I FIND YOU
You: I WILL KILL YOU ALLLLLLLL
Stranger: why you have to ask the doctor ?
You: STAB!! STAB!! STAB!!!
You: STAB!! STAB!! STAB!!!
You: STAB!! STAB!! STAB!!!
You: why do you care?? you said you hate me!
You: i'm going to scoop out your eyes with my spoon!
You: i dont care if its plastic, i can make it work.
You: i have the skills. I got my learn on in jail.
Stranger: are you crazy ?
You: ....
You: what are you insinuating here?
You: are you trying to tell me something in a secret code?
Stranger: no,
You: yes
You: (i understood the comma)
You: !!!
You: Was I RIGHT????
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Weird Fish: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi

You: FIRST
Stranger: YO DAWG ^_________^~
Stranger: SECOND
You: D:
You: im a cat
You: not a dawg
Stranger: kitty kat?!?
Stranger: I LOVE KIT-KATS YOU KNOW
Stranger: long chocolate bar ohmygod
You: dude i had a mini kit kat chunky on a flight from france to england earlier today
You: it was the most delicious oxymoron ever
Stranger: oxycotton would be good right now
Stranger: thanks for reminding me
Stranger: TIME TO GO GET HIGH
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Tom Francis: Man you guys really connected. I think you should see each other again.

Stranger: Brilliant!

Yesterday I talked about novels with a guy in France (and the same day got a book by one of his favorite writers from the library), beer with a guy from Brasil (and the next day bought a beer I'd never tried before because he'd recommended it--embarrassing for me since it's brewed in Canada where I live. It was delicious.) and talked custom classic car parts with a guy in California. I'm a 38 year old mom of two.

Rarrrrgh: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: what up dawg?
Stranger: not much bruthaaaa
You: what?
You: that is incredibly racist
You: you disgust me

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Rarrrrgh: Another:

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: what up dawg?

Stranger: 80% of the people here disconnect when i tell them were i live...
You: where do you live?

Stranger: germany
You have disconnected.

Anonymous: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi
Stranger: hi
You: my last convo was with a 16 yr olf finnish girl
You: can u beat that?
Stranger: im 14 yr girl from finland
Stranger: =)
You: lol?
Stranger: you
Stranger: ?
You: are you actually serious?
Stranger: yess !
You: why so many finnish people...

Stranger: i can speak finnish
Stranger: just 2?
You: yeah but do u livein finland
Stranger: yes
You: you do skiing?
Stranger: =D
Stranger: no
You: why not?
You: i would if i was finnish!
Stranger: :D:D
You: im 17 and from london
Stranger: yeah. but every finnish is'nt the same way
You: im called *********
You: your name?
Stranger: Milla
You: haha
Stranger: :(
You: she was called emilia!
Stranger: dont laugh
You: you have the same name!
Stranger: emilia is a pretty name
Stranger: emilia and milla is'nt the same
You: milla = emilia!
Stranger: lool
Stranger: :D:D
You: all finnish people ARE the same =)
Stranger: do you like to live in the rain land?
Connection imploded

I think it was for the best :P

Bobsy: I think key to Omegle has to be anonymity. I'm not actively fighting against personal information, in order to try and build up a small relationship based entirely on its absence.

Rarrrrgh: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Bored? Of course you are, you're on omegle. Try http://rrowland.mybr... ...ute.com/ - A fun new game.
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Anyone wanna try that link for me? im a bit scared..

MartinJ: It's some sort of a game where your character is generated by your name and then you just watch automatic fights and... I didn't really understand it, but it's nothing explicit or whatever.

Ush: I couldn't resist...

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Let's join a social network built just for two
Stranger: whats a hiptaneuse
You: you invite me and I'll invite you
Stranger: how?
You: We could lie about our ages
Stranger: ok
Stranger: im 3
You: and customize our pages
Stranger: cool
You: with falling words that say
Stranger: go on
You: i love you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Spy: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi
You: GOT A LOT OF GOOD THINGS ON SALE, STRANGER.
Stranger: Well
Stranger: Will you take this bejeweled goblet?
You: I'LL BUY IT AT A HIGH PRICE
Stranger: Okay here, take it.
You: EH EH EH
You: THANKS, STRANGER
Stranger: Now..I'll take that Combat Shotgun
You: EH EH EH
You: THANK YOU
You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN
Stranger: Okay..Now, just give me a minute.
You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN
You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN
Stranger: I've got to play fucking Tetris with this briefcase
Stranger: Alright, I'll just move the ammo here...the stupid quest items here
Stranger: Okay, the shotgun goes there. Now, I'll buy the RPG
You: for god's sake I've got a living to make in this zombie infested spanish town
You: EH EH EH
You: THANKS, STRANGER
Stranger: Jesus if you ain't a pushy fucking salesman
Stranger: I don't see a line behind me
You: COME BACK ANY TIME
You have disconnected.

Spy: Part 2:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hii
You: GOT A LOT OF GOOD THINGS ON SALE, STRANGER
You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN
Stranger: nada
You: fuck you then
You: fucking spaniard fucker
Stranger: oh lol
Stranger: hahaha
You: I thought you were cool
You: like that blonde guy
You: he buys my shit
You: he sells shit to me
You: but people like you
You: grrr
You: you just sit around and take us random shady salesmen who can get around without problem for granted
You: WELL FUCK YOU
You: MAYBE I WANT TO
You: FIGHT THE FINAL BOSS
You: WITH THE FUCKING RPG
You: AND THE SHOTGUN
You: HOW ABOUT THAT, BITCH?
You: HOW
You: ABOUT
You: THAT!?
Stranger: lol matter of fact, i do have something to sell to you
You: What're ya sellin?
Stranger: prozac.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Weird Fish: You: OH JESUS MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE
You: FUCK
You: FUCK
Stranger: call 999
You: AGHAG
You: SHIT
You: CACLAL
You: FASDG
You have disconnected.

Sam: lol spy I think you got owned both times.

Spy: More so on the second.

;_;

Spy: um

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Fire primary torpedoes!
Stranger: XD
Stranger: GD?
You: Quiet, Lieutenant!
You: Fire secondary torpedoes!
Stranger: ebaumsworld? o-o
Stranger: 4chan?
You: "Cap'n, our hull's breached!"
You: What are you talking about Lieutenant?
Stranger: oh god i love you XD
You: Damnit! Johnson, fire tertiary torpedoes, adamson, adjust depth!
You: Set heading to 370
You: "Cap'n, we're taking on water!"
Stranger: ima name you jeff
You: Full speed ahead!
Stranger: ok
Stranger: ilu jeff ;D
You: We're going down with this submarine, Lieutenant.
You: We might as well ram those damned Soviets first!
Stranger: ima tell all my friends about you jeff
You: QUIET LIEUTENANT
You: THIS IS A SOMBRE MOMENT
Stranger: but ilu D;
You: "We're out of torpedoes, Cap'n!"
You: Damned!
Stranger: oh noes wut are we gonna do jeff Dx
You: "Their ship is dropping depth charges!"
You: Ram their hull!
Stranger: this sounds like gay butt secks XD
Stranger: ilu jeff
You: LIEUTENANT WE ALL JOINED THE NAVY FOR THAT BUT IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN
You: NOW ADJUST DEPTH WE'RE GOING IN FOR THE KILL
Stranger: XD
You: Hold on tight!
You: *BASHOOOOOOMF*
You: Damned!
Stranger: jeff ilu!
You: That is one strong battleship!
You: Our only hope now is to
You: FIRE THE SECRET ALIEN LASER BEAM
Stranger: o:
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Stranger: but jeff that could kill us all
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Stranger: jeff stfu
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Stranger: stupid ass gder
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You have disconnected.

I'm trying to be serious and take down the soviet Battleship and this guy is just saying ilu jeff

What a shitty lieutenant

H: I only had one that made me chuckle, and it's not even that good.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi!
Stranger: Hello!
You: Do you still live at the same address?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jason L: OK, that one's actually funny.

Seth: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: is this a secure connection ?!
Stranger: they're looking for me.
Stranger: the F B I
You: We've got you now!
Stranger: FUCK
You: Fell right into our honeytrap
You: Now confess
You: The building is surrounded
Stranger: no way
Stranger: i know matrix tricks
You: We're the government
Stranger: i'm hacking into ur system right now
You: We have better technology than you can even dream of
You: Just give up now and you won't be killed
Stranger: if i give up
Stranger: what will happen to me
You: We'll just have a little chat. That's all...
You: We just want to talk to you alone
Stranger: that sounds reasonable
You: If you tell us about the others, then we may even let you go
Stranger: HEY WAIT A MINUTE
Stranger: YOU'RE BULLSHITTING ME
Stranger: FUCK
You: Why would I lie?
You: We have the upper hand here.
Stranger: BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING
You: We have nothing to lose.
You: You have everything to lose.
Stranger: I KNOW ABOUT THE ALIENS
Stranger: AREA 51
Stranger: THATS WHY YOU WANT ME ISNT IT?
Stranger: hey listen now
You: That information is sensitive..
Stranger: let's make a deal
You: It wouldn't be good for the general public if they found out.
You: People would panic
Stranger: if i get to see real aliens i'll keep my mouth shut
You: The United States government does not negotiate with terrorists. Officially...
You: But
You: You should know that we don't have any living specimens
Stranger: yes you do
Stranger: you are working with them
You: The corpses are all we recovered from the crash
Stranger: you're lying
You: Thats not true.
Stranger: i saw them
You: I don't know what you think you saw, but the aliens are dead.
Stranger: ha!
You: All rumours of humans and aliens breeding are untrue.
Stranger: listen to me now dude
Stranger: i can be a test subject..
You: We have reverse-engineered alien biotechnology
You: If you would be prepared to be a test subject then we will drop all charges against you.
You: But I must warn you
You: The procedure has never been attempted before
You: There is a chance of... complications
Stranger: what kind of complications?
You: We don't know exactly, but our scientists believe that once the alien DNA has been implanted, you may lose all of your human memories and feelings.
You: You would never be able to go back to your old life.
Stranger: that's a risk i'm willing to take
Stranger: look at my life now..
Stranger: i'm chased by the government
Stranger: i'm lost all my loved ones..
Stranger: i've
Stranger: my life...
You: You have made a wise choice.
Stranger: it's not even a fucking life..
Stranger: i accept the terms.
You: Now, if the DNA fusion is successful, we will be sending you on a mission to infiltrate the alien society.
Stranger: i need more details
You: We learned a lot about them from the crashed spacecraft that we discovered, and we managed to locate their home planet. But we still don't know what their intentions are towards us.
Stranger: you want me to spy on them?
You: The spacecraft did contain some weaponary, but we don't know whether they were just trying to find out more information about Earth, or whether they are planning to invade.
You: Yes. You will be undercover on the alien homeworld.
Stranger: sounds extremely dangerous..
Stranger: but..
Stranger: ..i'll do it
Stranger: whatever it takes for the mankind to survive
You: The aliens have a hive mind. They can communicate telepathically with each other, and they share thoughts and feelings between them. This should make it easy to discover their intentions.
You: But, this is also why we must remove all trace of humanity from you. As they can peer into your mind, if you have any human attachments remaining then they will discover you.
Stranger: that would be devastating..
Stranger: how soon can we arrange a meeting?
You: One of the machines that we recovered from the crashed spacecraft will allow us to download your human memories and personality for storage on a supercomputer.
You: If the mission is successful and you are able to return home, then we may be able to return your memories to you.
Stranger: i understand.
You: One of our agents will be in contact with you in the next 48 hours.
Stranger: i will be ready
Stranger: ..hey
Stranger: ..thanks
You: No. Thank you.
Stranger: ...it's an honor
You: And... good luck.
You: You're going to need it.
Stranger: indeed...

EGGS: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: KISSS MEEEEE
You: KISS KISS SMOOOCH
Stranger: LOVELOVE YAY
You: ELOHVEEII
You: Let's have a sexy party!
Stranger: YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
You: OSNAP.
Stranger: ok
Stranger: ok
You: I'ma have a panty raid
You: At yer place.
You: 'Kay?
Stranger: ok
Stranger: i like that
You: Your panties are huge! FATTAAAAY

True dat...: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Pants :)
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Contact, western road. Fire at will!
Stranger: no thanks
You: Lieutenant Stranger, get a move on!
You: Take your squads through the eastern buildings and flank them.
You: We'll cover you, now MOVE!
Stranger: they are already dead
You: What!?
Stranger: annihilated
You: What... what have you done?
Stranger: I killed them.
You: Oh, good God... the butchery...
You: You're an ANIMAL!
Stranger: You are the only one left.
You: It's just you and me now.
You: One on one.
You: Let's do this.
Stranger: bring it.
You: *Draws pistol*
Stranger: *draws machine gun*
You: Oh... crap.
Stranger: MWHAHAHA
You: *Shoots you in the face*
Stranger: OH GAWD
Stranger: The pain
Stranger: THE PAIN
You: A-HA! I knew your weakness, fool! Now taste defeat!
Stranger: My eye......

*it rolls on the floor*
You: *Shoots you in the crotch*
Stranger: Ouch.........
Stranger: You are too good for me
You: I'm sorry Lieutenant.
You: We had a good run, you and I...
You: But it had to be done.
Stranger: fair enough
You: Great last words!
Stranger: I deserved what was coming to me
You: *Finished you off*
Stranger: Don't make the same mistakes I did.
You: Umm... I can't think of anything else to say lol xD
Stranger: Haha! :D
You: Good talk dude lol
You: See ya around
Stranger: Thanks! :D
Stranger: Yep
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jives: Stranger: fuck americans
Stranger: im an aus
You: I'm a UK
Stranger: cool cool
Stranger: yeah man america pisses me off
Stranger: there gonna get owned soon
You: um
You: They don't bother me too much
Stranger: they bother me
Stranger: IM RAGEEEED
Stranger: j/k I lied im an american
Stranger: so easy to lie about anything on here
Stranger: I could have said im a 17 year old japanese girl
Stranger: you probably would have believed me
Stranger: fuuuccckk
Stranger: your not talking
Stranger: and I need to take a shit
Stranger: so peace bro
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

SayWhat: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey, there.
You: I like your hair.
You: Who does your hair?
You: I'd like to go there
Stranger: Jesus christ
You: Don't use the Lord's name in vain!
Stranger: Too late
Stranger: ass
You: hole
Stranger: bitch
Stranger: face
Stranger: nugget
You: chicken
You: crackers
Stranger: pieces
You: bitch-ass-ness
Stranger: buttsecks
You: Oral. Betch.
Stranger: Im actually from china so
You: Woah
You: I'm talking to a chink?
Stranger: WOLOLOLOLOLO Tung jing tits
Stranger: your talking to a shark nigger
You: FISH ARE FRIENDS NOT FOOD.
Stranger: fish are food not friends
Stranger: get it right
Stranger: ass
You: Well, you're the racist shark
You: I don't believe you have a say in this
Stranger: so why havent we had sex yet
You: And my donkey is sexier than yours 'kay?
You: Because
Stranger: thats not a reason
You: I'm too sexy for this shirt
Stranger: ass
You: Hole.
Stranger: im too sexy for my life
You: No shark is sexy
You: Niggaroach
Stranger: Dick goes here
You: And vagina goes there
Stranger: BLENDER
You: OSNAP
Stranger: WOLOLOLOLOLO
You: I'll be the missionary
You: You be the lieutenant
You: Let's get jiggy with it!
Stranger: ill be the caption of secks
You: Caption? As in under?
You: Cool. I'm on top.
You: SUCKER
Stranger: yeah, caption, bot captain
You: I still get the top, right?
Stranger: Well i have banana as penis you see
You: And my vagina is microwaved mango
You: We get along great!
Stranger: HOLY FUCK A MUDKIP
Stranger: brb i gota catch em all
You: DO U LIEK MUDKIPZ?
You: Aw. Fine, be that way! I demand a divorce!
Stranger: i haz 51 of zem
You have disconnected.

Thordain: While I didn't really play around with Omeggle, the link in my name includes a forum topic full of good conversations.

Anonymous: ....

SlappyBag: Simple but effective:

You: Hai2u
Stranger: hi
You: So are you an evil stranger or a nice stranger?
Stranger: nice
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

SlappyBag: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: cyber? ;]
You: Oh yeah!
You: I put on my robe and wizard hat
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Angela: Stranger: but i must go now cause my girlfriend wants to have sex now
Stranger: sorry
You: hahahaha.

DiscountNinja: SlappyBag - that was so funny :D I mean, that had me stitches for ages :D

Jason L: Indeed, well done sir. L(iteral)LOL.

Preedy: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: why hello
Stranger: why not hi ?
You: im rather posh
You: hate to admit it
Stranger: well nice to meet you
You: im from england
Stranger: : D
Stranger: cool
You: you are from?
Stranger: im from finland
You: brilliant
Stranger: it is ?
You: my mother knows your leader
Stranger: Tarja Halonen ?
You: see im at buckingham palace
Stranger: nicee
Stranger: im at home : <
You: they met a few months ago
You: oh i am at home
You: i live at the palace
Stranger: i know :)
You: im william
Stranger: but i have a normal home :D
You: oh right
You: a humble abode
Stranger: nice to meet you william :D
You: thank you
Stranger: i think harry is more good looking tho
You: i get tat all the time
You: that*
Stranger: : D but youre fine too
You: why thanks
You: someone from eton sent me this site
You: quite a laugh
Stranger: : D
Stranger: im here all the time
You: already spoke to a charming man from alabama
You: well
You: could of been a woman
You: you never know ith these sites
Stranger: :D
You: with*
Stranger: thats the fun thing
You: oh yes
You: excuse my miss typing
Stranger: : D ah thets okay
You: not used to this keyboard see
You: new
Stranger: :D oookay
You: have you been to england
You: ?
Stranger: nope, but i'll move to london some day
You: maybee we can meet up
Stranger: meybe : D
Stranger: whats your name?
You: be a huge violation a internet safety mind
Stranger: it would
You: william
You: title:prince
Stranger: no, youre whole name?
You: call me will though
You: William Arthur Philip Louis
You: sorry
Stranger: ooh
Stranger: wikipedia is my friend too
You: mother was asking me if i wanted tea
Stranger: yeahh
Stranger: youre mother is dead
You: why ive never been so insulted
You: ah fuck
You: i meant grandma
You: balls
Stranger: : D sorry to tell you
You: hello
You: i am from england though
You: just not a royal

He ratted me out at the end ¬¬

Killa-Ewok: I have taken up a habit to copy the speech from I Am Legend to omegle, to see the reactions.

I haven't saved any of the conversations, but I am asking if any of you have fallen for my TRAP.

Octaeder: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Sarah?
Stranger: no this is david
You: Damn - I'm trying to find Sarah
Stranger: david davidsen
Stranger: nice to meet you!
You: I've got something important to tell her but I've lost her file
Stranger: oh
Stranger: this sounds interesting
Stranger: tell me more
Stranger: =)
You: It's imperitive I speak to her - without treatment she may not last long
Stranger: well
You: All I can remember is she uses this damn service
Stranger: it happens to be that i'm a DOCTOR
Stranger: WHAT IS HER SITUATION!
You: As a doctor, you must well know that I can't divulge information about my clients
Stranger: i'm a doctor with a gun
Stranger: and i need this information
You: That... that strikes me as an odd gimmick for a doctor?
You: Does that really draw in the visits?
Stranger: new standard issues
You: I must have missed the Department of Health's briefing
Stranger: damn i'm way to baked to do this shit
Stranger: you just lost the game
You: In that case I will continue my search for poor Sarah
Stranger: okay

Caleb: Dear random stranger who works in IT in the Netherlands. Forgot to mention...this is me here!

Caleb: Apparently Navi is also in Pulp Fiction

Stranger: hey
You: hey!
You: listen!
You: hey!
Stranger: what
You: hey!
You: listen!
You: hey!
Stranger: what?
You: listen!
You: hey!
Stranger: WHAT?
You: SAY WHAT AGAIN MOTHERF**KER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

VAKinc: Stranger: sex
Stranger: drugs
Stranger: rock n roll
Stranger: motorcycles
You: ...
Stranger: cash money
You: ...
You: I don't care what your gender is. I need to marry you.
You: Now.

VAKinc: You: Rise and Shine, Mr. Freeman.
Stranger: ms.freeman thx
You: osh- WHAT?!

You: Ask me any three questions.
Stranger: hola
(Moment of realization that we had just talked to eachother)
You: ...
Stranger: ...

Stranger: THE GAME
You: ...
You: YOU BASTARD
You: NOOOOOOO
You: I JUST LOST THE GAME.
Stranger: not this shit again

Calaros: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: say somthing better then hi
You: O hai
You: There :D
Stranger: fanxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:O)
You: O.o
You:
/¯/___________________________ _
| SHOOP DA WHOOP! BLAAAAAAA!
\_\¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯
Stranger: :)* D:
Stranger: LMFAO WTFF
You: IMA CHARGIN MA LAZAR
Stranger: R U FRM HABBO?!
You: Eep. No.
Stranger: oh
Stranger: soz
You: Why do you ask? :p
Stranger: where r u frm
You: The murky depths of the internet...
Stranger: idk u sound lyk that type
Stranger: LOLOOL
You: You weren't there man. YOU WEREN'T THERE
Stranger: LMFAOOOOOO
Stranger: wot the f
You: Anyway yeah, hi! I'm Clon :D
Stranger: (: im lori
You: Lori? Never met anybody with that name! Where you from?
Stranger: lol, new zealand, youu?
You: Scotland
Stranger: haha woah
You: And if you shout freedom, I'll kill you :P
Stranger: lmfao
You: MUDKIPS FUCK YEAH
You have disconnected.

Psycho-Monkey: I like this one because by Question 6, I believe the person gets confused. I don't know whether to take is answer seriously or if he understood the joke.



Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Greetings (Insert Subject Name Here)!
You: You have been chosen to participate in our weekly Surveys.
You: Our Surveys are made to accurately record public opinion and suggestions to make your experience here at Omegle the most enjoyable.
You: Do you wish to partake (Insert Subject Name Here)? Please say in all capitals "YES" to participate in the Survey or "NO" to skip.
Stranger: YES
You: (Insert Subject Name Here) has said "YES" to Survey. Please prepare for the Survey.
You: As a side-note, please answer all questions accurately and truthfully to get the most enjoyable experience later here on Omegle.
You: Question Number 1:
Stranger: okay
You: Please explain your experience here on Omegle.
You: After answering the question please say in all capitals "FINISHED." Thank you.
Stranger: it's fun talking to strangers. i enjoy it, except for the fact that there are so many chinese people. FINISHED
You: Once again, we ask you to please answer all questions accurately and truthfully to get the most enjoyable experience later here on Omegle.
You: Question Number 2:
You: In the time you have been here on Omegle, how many times have you been asked you were a Female?
You: Once again, after answering the question please say in all capitals "FINISHED." Thank you.
Stranger: none, honestly. FINISHED
You: Question Number 3:
You: Of those times the "Stranger" asked for your gender, where they also interested in age?
Stranger: probably half the time. FINISHED
You: Question Number 4:
You: Please give us your opinion on what these "Strangers" are looking for.
Stranger: just someone to talk to, like me. maybe they're just lonely and bored. i think it's all in good fun. FINISHED
You: Question Number 5:
You: If given the option to report a "Stranger" for offensive behavior, would you use said option?
Stranger: no, it's pointless. just press "disconnect" and get over it, that's what the button is there for. haha. FINISHED
You: Question Number 6:
You: Are you aware that the Cake is a Lie?
Stranger: NO WAY
Stranger: fuck
Stranger: but it's so believable ;_;
You: Once again, after answering the question please say in all capitals "FINISHED." Thank you.
Stranger: no way. FINISHED
You: Question Number 7:
You: What is your opinion on the Demoman class?
Stranger: what the fuck? FINISHED
You: Question Number 8:
You: What is your most enjoyable experience here on Omegle?
Stranger: talking to horny 12 year old girls. FINISHED
You: Question Number 9:
You: What is your lest enjoyable experience here on Omegle
Stranger: talking to fat nerds. FINISHED
You: Final Question:
You: If you could rate your experiences here on Omegle, what would you rate them on a scale of 1 - 10 (1 being the lowest, 10 being the highest)
Stranger: 10 FINISHED
You: Thank you participating in this Survey, we are glad for your responses and look forward to making your experience here at Omegle and enjoyable one.

Ledundead: One experience of mine:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I appear to have burst into flames.
Stranger: cool
You: No, hot.
You: Very hot.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Snofeld: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: i love you
You: i know
Stranger: really?
You: i've always known
Stranger: aww
Stranger: do you love me?
You: i'm sorry but... we cannot be together
You: we're from two different worlds
Stranger: but but..
Stranger: we can do this
Stranger: i know we can
You: i'm so sorry
You: but i have to get on that train
Stranger: no!
Stranger: dont get on that train!
Stranger: if you get on that train youre going to regret this
Stranger: youre going to think of me every day
Stranger: every night
Stranger: you wont be able to sleep
Stranger: to eat
Stranger: you'll always wonder
Stranger: and i'll always wonder
Stranger: even if there's 3,000 miles between us
Stranger: how could do that to me, to you, to US
You: i know... but there is no other way
Stranger: yes there is
Stranger: who cares about what you think is right, do what's in your heart
You: i'm no good...i'm a crook, spoiled goods...and i don't wanna drag you into my world
You: at least this way you'll be safe...
You: goodbye...
Stranger: i don't want to be safe
You: we'll always have paris...
Stranger: i just want to be with you
Stranger: NOOOOOOO
You have disconnected.

You: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: wanne camsex?
You: i came
Stranger: come again
You: i came
Stranger: come again
You: i came
Stranger: go die
You: i came
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Killa-Ewok: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: EVERYONE!
You: I AM ON FIRE!
Stranger: SUCK MY DICK
You: I
You: AM
You: ON
You: FIREEEEE!
Stranger: i'm too
Stranger: so suck
Stranger: my
Stranger: dick
Stranger: ecolregul@hotmail.com
You: Hello! My name is and I am here to ask you, some questions! Is that OK with you, my dear
Stranger: you're a fucking crazy man
You: Thank you for saying yes!
You: First question:
You: Why is the sky blue?
Stranger: because i piss on it
Stranger: and my piss is blue
Stranger: because i eat pussies
Stranger: and pussie is blue
You: Thank you for answering correctly! According to our registers, your answer was "I am a huge faggot without a sense of humour".
You: Second question:
You: Why are you a huge faggot without a sense of humour?
Stranger: because I'm not happy in my life
You: Thank you for answering correctly! According to our registers, your answer was "Because I enjoy Picasso's works!"
You: Third and final question:
You: Is the cake a lie?
Stranger: no
You: I am afraid that is incorrect! According to our registers, your answer was "Why yes it is!"
You: Please take a second guess!
Stranger: you're crazy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jazmeister: I say, that one was quite good. You win at the strange drop-in duel of wits that is omegle.

Ninja: I got a fairly long, fun text based adventure game with someone. It was really really fun. It started out with a library and it was actually the 5th chat that I started that I didn't get disconnected instantly on.

https://dl.getdropbox.com/u/9902/filedrop/textbasedadvent.html

You might like it, who knows. I had a fun time playing.

Killa-Ewok: @Jazmeister

Thank you. And in case that wasn't meant for me...

AWKWARD SILENCE.

innovations101: i think we had a real connection here :)

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ??????
Stranger: ??? ?????
You: hallo?
You: sprichst du deutsch?
Stranger: ???????
You: was fürne sprache ist das denn???
Stranger: ? ?? ???????, ???????????
Stranger: ??????? ??-??????
You: achsooooo das ist ja gut
You: und wie gehts dir so?
Stranger: ?????
You: echt?? aww du arme
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Caleb: Stranger: HI
Stranger: ASL?
You: WOW CAPS LOCK
Stranger: LOL I KNO RITE??
Stranger: YOU LIKE CAPS LOK?
You: OH HECK YES
You: I LUV THE CAPS LOCK TO DEATH
Stranger: FINALLY, A KINDRED SPIRIT
You: WE'RE GETTING MARRIED ON TUESDAY
Stranger: WE CAN BOTH DO CAPS LOCK 2GETHER
You: OOH KINKY
Stranger: YES, WE SHALL HAVE OUR HONEYMOON IN ESTONIA
You: O RLY?
Stranger: YES RLY
You: EXCELLENT
You: GOOD MADAM OR SIR, I APPROVE
Stranger: FANTASTIC :)
Stranger: SHALL I MEET YOU IN VEGAS THEN?
You: MOST CERTAINLY
You: I WILL BRING MY BEST FRIEND
You: HER NAME IS PUNCTUATION
You: UNFORTUNATLEY
You: SHE SPEAKS WITH AN ACCENT
You: THAT SOUNDS LIKE
Stranger: I SHALL BRING MY ELEVEN PET GOATS AND THEIR TIBETAN KEEPER
You: :;;'..,;;'/%@
You: THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL
Stranger: MY GOATS SHALL BE MY GIFT TO YOU
Stranger: ON THIS WONDERFUL OCCASION
You: THANK YOU
You: IT SHALL BE A FINE DOWRY
You: MY GIFT TO YOU SHALL BE A GOURD OF WATER FROM THE FOUNTAIN OF AWESOME
You: AND IT WILL BE AWESOME
Stranger: IT SHALL BE FANTASMIGORICAL
Stranger: IT SHALL BE SUPERMERGATROID
You: IT SHALL BE...SIGNIFICANT
Stranger: BUT!
You: OH NOES
You: A BUT
Stranger: STRANGER OF OMEGLE
You: INDEED?
Stranger: I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU....
You: UH OH
You: DONT LEAVE ME HANGING
You: PLEASE
You: I BESEECH YE
You: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU HAVE TO SAY?
Stranger: GRAVITATIONAL MASS IS IDENTICAL TO INERTIAL MASS. THAT IS, THE AMOUNT OF INERTIA SOMETHING HAS AND THE AMOUNT OF GRAVITY IT HAS ARE EFFECTIVELY THE SAME. WHAT'S INTEREsTING IS THAT THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY REASON THIS SHOULD BE TRUE.
You: UH OH
You: A LOWER CASE S SNUCK IN THERE
You: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
Stranger: ONE COULD IMAGINE AN EXTREMELY LARGE OBJECT WITH LOTS OF RESISTANCE TO FORCE AND NO GRAVITY (OR VICE VERCA) BUT THIS IS NEVER OBSERVED
Stranger: OK OK OK
Stranger: YOU KNOW WHAT
Stranger: I'M GONNA SKIP THE REST OF THE BUILD UP AND SAY IT
Stranger: YO MAMMA'S FAT.
You: SAW IT COMING, BUT THANKS
You: YO MAMMA'S SO FAT THAT IF SHE DOESN'T IMPROVE HER DIET AND EXERCISE REGIMEN, SHE WILL BE AT SERIOUS RISK OF HAVING HEART DISEASE
Stranger: OH!!!
Stranger: I SEE HOW IT IS!
You: YO MAMMA'S SO FAT THAT HER GRAVITATIONAL ATTRACTION GOES UP BY THE CUBE OF HER MASS
Stranger: WELL YOUR MAMMA'S SO FAT, THAT IF HER ENTIRE MASS WAS REPLACED WITH URANIUM 235, AND THEN EACH INDIVIDUAL ATOM HIT WITH A SLOW-MOVING NEUTRON, IN ADDITION TO THE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF NEWLY-FORMED ELEMENTS AND FREE NEUTRONS, AN AMOUNT OF ENERGY EQUAL TO AROUND 2.6x10^58 KILOWATT-HOURS WOULD BE BE RELEASED IN AN UNCONTROLLED EXPLOSION
You: HAHAHAHAHAHHA
You: AWESOME
Stranger: I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
You: I'M SORRY
You: OUR LOVE CAN NEVER BE
You: BECAUSE I STILL LOVE CAPS LOCK
You: I'M SORRY
Stranger: *is crying*
You: I'M SORRY
You: IF I TELL YOU A JOKE WILL YOU FEEL BETTER?
You: HOW ABOUT THIS ONE
You: YO MAMMA'S SO FAT THAT IT WOULD REQUIRE TWO LARGE INTEGER VARIABLES TO STORE HER WEIGHT, OR SHE'D CAUSE A BUFFER TO OVERFLOW
You: (SORRY, I JUST REALLY WANTED TO USE THAT ONE)
Stranger: OH!
Stranger: WELL YOUR MAMMA'S SO STUPID SHE DESIGNED AN EXPERIMENT UTILIZING QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT IN AN ATTEMPT TO UNDERMINE THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE
You: YEAH?
You: WELL
You: YO MAMMA'S SUCH A SLUT THAT EVEN THE NOBLE GASSES HAVE ATTACHED THEMSELVES TO HER!
Stranger: OOOOH
Stranger: Yeah
Stranger: well
Stranger: YOUR MUM IS SO DUMB THAT SHE TRIED TO MINIMIZE A 12 VARIABLE FUNCTION TO A MINIMAL SUM OF PRODUCTS EXPRESSION USING A KARNAUGH MAP INSTEAD OF THE QUINE-McCLUSKEY ALGORITHM
You: HEH
You: YOUR MOM IS SO UGLY THAT HER UGLINESS INTENSITY IS EQUAL TO 10^5 UNITS OF UGLY AT A DISTANCE OF ONE METER WHILE THE THRESHOLD FOR UGLINESS IN THE AVERAGE HUMAN IS 10^-12 UGLIES/M^2
Stranger: OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: SNAP
You: INDEEDILY GOOD SIR OR MADAM
You: AND NOW
You: I MUST BID YOU ADIEU
You: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!
You: NOW GOODBYE FOREVER!
Stranger: GOODB BYE FOREVER STRANGER OF OMEGLE
Stranger: *BOWS*
Stranger: YOU WERE A WORTHY OPPONENT
You: YOU AS WELL
You: *TIPS HAT*

Tom Francis: How civil! Highly approve.

Caleb: Why thank you!

em2: Apologies for length. Worth it for the end.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: yo
You: Zimprov Ver. 0.001a

You are in a ROOM. It is fairly dark.
Stranger: the game
You: ?
Stranger: turn on liget
Stranger: turn on light
You: The light's go on. Your ROOM is a mess.
Stranger: search room
You: Your ROOM is a cramped apartment, but you apparently have a pretty cool collection of movie posters from the 80s.
Stranger: check pockets
You: There is a DESK, a LAMP (which is now on) and a hall to the KITCHEN.
You: Your pockets have nothing but lint.
Stranger: clean room
You: You hastily go through your room, moving papers and books aside. You find a pair of KEYS.
Stranger: pick up keys
You: You place the keys in your pocket.
Stranger: go to kitchen
You: You start towards the KITCHEN.
You: LOADING NEW ROOM...
You: *PLEASE WAIT*
You: You are in the KITCHEN. Gee, it's dark.
Stranger: turn on kitchen light
You: The light's go on. You can see your KITCHEN in all it's KITCHEN-esque glory.
You: There is a FRIDGE, a STOVE, and a SINK.
Stranger: search fridge
You: Wow, when was the last time you went shopping. You're FRIDGE is nearly empty. There is only a bottle of SODA , some CHIPS, a MYSTERY FOIL-WRAPPED OBJECT.
Stranger: unwrap foil sraped object
You: The object starts to glow...
You: GASP! The room is on fire!
Stranger: scan object
You: The OBJECT is blindingly white hot. The KITCHEN continues to burn.
Stranger: Put object in pocket
You: ZOUNDS! The object burns right through you're hand.
You: The floor has now caught aflame.
Stranger: run to front door
You: Exiting the KITCHEN as fast as possibile.
You: LOADING NEW ROOM, PLEASE WAIT.
Stranger: Waiting
You: LOADING NEW ROOM, PLEASE WAIT.
You: You are back in your ROOM. Whew!
You: You can still hear the flames in the KITCHEN.
Stranger: look for fire extinguisher
You: You search valiantly for a fire extinguisher. Can it be behind that vintage DUNE poster? No! There it is, next to you're mounted ALF collectable plate,
Stranger: use fire extinguisher on fire
You: You run back to the KITCHEN, and splurt the fire extingusiher everywhere. WOOSH! There goes that floor.
Stranger: run back to room
You: You race back to your ROOM.
You: You hear the soft dripping sounds of fire dampening foam as it drips down your KITCHEN walls.
Stranger: go on computer
You: You look through your room, and find a sideways Apple IIc. You really do have an 80s fetish don't you...
Stranger: log onto computer
You: Unfortunately, the computer is not only sideways, but also half taken apart. You never did get around to repairing it, did you?
Stranger: look for working computer in house
You: You search in vain through your home for a working computer, let alone something made after 1988. No luck on either count. However, you do notice that your front door appears unlocked...
Stranger: go through front door
You: You exit your house.
You: LOADING...
You: You are OUTSIDE. It is either dusk or dawn, hard to tell. You can't see too much else.
Stranger: take off clothes
You: You strip nude. Gee, it's chilly.
Stranger: Look for other people
You: You walk out further, stumbling slightly in the darkness. There appears to be a path up ahead, but you can't really make it out.
Stranger: Walk down path
You: You walk out on to the path. The rocky surface cuts at your bare feet.
You: You hear a faint roaring sound.
You: It seems like the sound is getting closer.
You: You see a faint light(s)...
You: WOOSH!
You: You have been hit by a car.
Stranger: Roll for evade!
You: Non game comment : ROLF
You: You have DIED. Your score: 88/100
You: A+ for stamina and effort.
You:Thanks for trying Zimprov. Mind you, this is like a beta of a beta. Any and all feedback welcome.
Stranger: Needs little girls to molest
You: We will take this into consideration.

em2: One more. I swear that's it.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Is there hope
Stranger: i hope so
You: I see what you did there.
Stranger: it's the truth
You: That's what you tell them?
Stranger: i live in the truth
You: Keats coming up?
Stranger: i don't listen to indie bands
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jimbob: One of my fave conversations that had me in stitches for some reason:

You: I am the stranger
Stranger: i am too.
You: we all are
Stranger: where do you come from, stranger?
You: The Sea Of Tranquility
Stranger: ooookay.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Herpers: Yay trolling: Note that I am male :P
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello
Stranger: hola
Stranger: m spanish
Stranger: u???
Stranger: somalian/???
You: Australian :P
Stranger: ello
Stranger: where
Stranger: r
Stranger: u???
You: Australia...
Stranger: u liv in sydney
Stranger: cozz
You: No.
Stranger: i got a home there
Stranger: i go there during mi vaccation
You: Lucky you.
Stranger: thnxxx
Stranger: u wanna be lucky???
Stranger: cozz
You: Everyone could use some luck.
Stranger: i can make u one....
You: One what?
Stranger: u just hav to do a thing
Stranger: u ready to do it???
You: sure.
Stranger: u get millionar at a night
Stranger: u just hav to
Stranger: marr y
Stranger: me
Stranger: so whats ur thought???
You: Well, do you have a big cock?
Stranger: why???
Stranger: u fond of big cock
You: Yeah.
Stranger: only if u ready to suck it
You: Only if it's big.
Stranger: yup
Stranger: ok then whats ur email id??????
You: One more question.
You: Is gay marraige allowed where you are?
Stranger: ohhh..........shit
Stranger: shot
Stranger: shit
Stranger: all the way i was taking was ta a shit

Ashling: Hehe, I love Omegle. Here's some "games" to play on it:

-Type in a really dirty question and see how many times you get disconnected before you get an answer. If they do answer, act offended and see if they disconnect.
-Type in a quote or fact, again see how many times you're disconnected before you get an answer.
-Type, "hurro". You'll be shcoked how many people don't know what that means.
-Start typing song lyrics,
e.g
you: JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL
you: LIVING IN A LONELY WORLD
And see if they start to continue the song. Or disconnect.
-Type, "tell me a secret". I am yet to read someone's real secret, though.

=]

soreye: I keep saying I'm 'The Doctor' from the hit BBC tv series Doctor Who, but its only worked once.... :)

Thijs: Stranger: do what your mother tells you
Stranger: hi
You: My mother tells me to smoke weed =(
Stranger: smoke it
You: done
You: it's all gone now
Stranger: gj
Stranger: get more
You: Can't
Stranger: go
You: I ate it all
Stranger: get
Stranger: u wat
You: your mum?
Stranger: my
You: yes
Stranger: wat
You: she ate my weed
Stranger: you said you ate it
Stranger: mummy?
You: No I did not!
Stranger: yes
You: Maybe
Stranger:
Stranger: I ate it all
You: See
You: Stranger
You: that's you
Stranger: thats you
You: I'm ' you '
Stranger: nooooooooooo
Stranger:
You: I ate it all
You: I want your mum to make me a fresh joint now.
You: We ate it together
You: She ate most though
Stranger: i'm thinking of going gay
You: Going gay pwns cocks
Stranger: only guys want to have sex with me
You: And you're male?
You: Well
Stranger: yeah
You: That blows! *pun alert*
You: anyway
Stranger: hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Stranger: yeah
You: I missed the bridge from 'weed' to 'gay'
You: I'll just make one up
Stranger: k
You: weed is heterosexual
You: so
You: now we can talk about your gayness
Stranger: nice
You: Sex?
Stranger: what
Stranger: m/f
You: Did I say that out loud?
Stranger: no
Stranger: you typed it
You: Good
You: I said it too
Stranger: oh
Stranger: do you say everything you type
Stranger: like in the movies
You: Yes.
You: Sometimes it is hard
You: as
Stranger: badass
You: if I ram my head on my keyboard when frustrated
You: it's pretty hard
You: v bjioseoigqw=-o
You: try say that 20x in row.
Stranger: looks difficult
Stranger: `the phones ringing
Stranger: shit
You: Taha
You: Phones are for gays
You: Real men use penguins
Stranger: fucking telemarketers
You: I prefer fucking stockbrokers.

Caleb: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: *rings doorbell*
You: *opens door in pyjamas*
You: Hello
Stranger: Hi
Stranger: Are you interested in joining the Jehova Witnesses?
Stranger: Here, have a leaflet
You: Not particularly. I just ate.
You: You're the cannibalism guys, right?
Stranger: Alright, but we'll be back >_<
Stranger: Yes
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Dr. ROCKZO: Stranger: hi
You: who are you and what are you doing on my chat?
You: are you a pedophile? My mum warned me about you guys..
Stranger: what? you crazy
You: I DONT WANT YOUR CANDY
You: STAY AWAY

Mr Fun: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: why can't a cucumber sing
You: because it's a fucking vegetable
Stranger: a valid point, however ........
Stranger: why can't a cucumber sing?
You: because there are too many people attempting to tell it irrelevent jokes and interrupting it's flow?
Stranger: close but no cookie
Stranger: why can't a cucumber sing?
You: because it heard the grass-a-growin'?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Jim: haha I got one:
Stranger: lets do this
You: what?
Stranger: this conversation
Stranger: lets get it going
You: ok
You: hi
You: :D
Stranger: hey there
Stranger: how are you this fine day?
You: very well, my wife just died! High Five!
You: Freedom
You: :D
You: finally
Stranger: *internet high five*
Stranger: congratulations sir
You: haha yeah
You: She was being a bitch
You: screeming all day
Stranger: I hope it was a slow and painful death?
You: yes
Stranger: good
You: heart attack, but kinda slow
You: I wasn't home
Stranger: awwww
Stranger: if you had you could have held her head under water or something
You: nono I'm not a murder
You: xD
You: but this way she's gone
You: I got the money
You: My girlfreind is moving in tomorrow
Stranger: wait
Stranger: why the fuck are trading one useless cunt with legs for another?
Stranger: you just won the lottery
Stranger: and now you're going right back into being a mindless fucking slave to some knuckle draggin half a retard
Stranger: good job
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
or save this log or send us feedback.

you: Stranger: heyy
You: have you ever been to minkaxx.com
Stranger: nope
You: minkaxxx.com*
You: well you really should
Stranger: sounds like porn
You: we got the teens and the milfs and all kinds of shit
You: its the shitnitz or whatever you teens call it
Stranger: im a girl
You: yeah sure
You: a girl on the interwebsXD
Stranger: lol
Stranger: i really am though
You: i almost fell off my chair
You: fun times fun times
Stranger: well you should be more careful
You: a girl on the fucking interwebs
You: whats next a man on the moon
Stranger: man has already been on the moon silly
You: yeah right, whats next after that: a man under water
Stranger: hahaaaaaaaaaa
You: or listen to this: A FUCKING WEBSITE THAT LETS YOU TALK TO STRANGERS
You: BWAHAHAHA
Stranger: wow you're so funny
You: I dont know how i come up with this shit
Stranger: me neither
Stranger: so how big is your dick
You: WHOA WHOA WHOA
You: i fail to see the bridge from internet to dicks
Stranger: sorry did i offend you
Stranger: so why are you on this site sir?
You: no
You: im here to find young pussy ofcourse
You: just like anyone else
Stranger: funny
Stranger: asl?
You: im not gay but okay
You: hey that rhymes too
You: i should be on broadway
You: well, anyways
Stranger: broadway has nothing to do with rhyming
You: age: ?
sex: you guessed it
location: you get it if i get to see you masturbate
You: hell yeah it does
Stranger: yu dont know how old you are
Stranger: ?
Stranger: im a 17 yr old female
You: i demand masturbation
You: im 16
You: half a week from 17
Stranger: im pretty sure you are a creepy old man
You: summer birthdays suck
Stranger: i have a winter birthday
You: creepy old men dont like masturbation
Stranger: which sucks even more
Stranger: and yes they do
You: depends how close your birthday is to christmas
Stranger: i as suppose to be orn on christamas but i was 20 days early
You: your mother fail at birth
Stranger: mhmm
You: but masturbation awaits me
You: cya
Stranger: byeee
You: you press the disconnect button my hands are too old and weak
Stranger: ewwwwwww
You: i gotta save my powers for masturbation
Stranger: so whats the real reason you wont disconnect
You: these hands have seen 80 years of hard labour
Stranger: peace bitch

Caleb: My last one sort of degenerated into "Hot baked goods on fresh fruit action".

Yeah, it's a long story. And it's also one that would never occur anywhere else in real life :P That's why I still mess with omegle when i'm bored.

Richard: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: say the most intelligent thing you can think of, now
Stranger: eeehm, i wanna meet Paramore
Stranger: :S
Stranger: ?
You: wow.....
Stranger: haha
You: you're going on a blog comment!

Ezu: Stranger: hi
You: hullo
Stranger: asl?
You: don't call me asshole
You: i might cry
Stranger: im not im sorry
You: nevermind
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Asl is boring and dangerous.

Ezu: And now for something completely random.


Stranger: last person disconnected because i was too random
Stranger: is that a nargle?
Stranger: hmm
You: the game?
Stranger: no
Stranger: the banana of hopes and dreams
You: particularly fiesty
Stranger: not particularly... abso-qua-lutely
You: un-fucking-believable
Stranger: take your time, admiral, and it will be believe
Stranger: just look into your inner eye for the key
You: the ship is sinking! grab the whores and fill up that hole!
Stranger: stop it, admiral, i do not want to be grabbed there.
Stranger: i would rather dance with a blind monkey in vegas
Stranger: what is vegas?
Stranger: is it a fruit?
You: it's Barbie's new boyfriend
You: i heard he's from luoisiana
Stranger: oh no! does he have rabies? or some glittery chest hair?
Stranger: because i forgot to buy my school supplies
You: i bet he like fishsticks
You: does that make him gay fish?
Stranger: admiral, this is no time to talk about your wife! the ship is dying!
You: School supplies ahoy!
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Stranger: i forgot my tooothpaste at the hut!!
Stranger: we must turn back!
You: there's no way back
You: vegas at our tails
Stranger: oh, no! oh, no! i'm scared, admiral! should i rub some chapstick on my cheek to cool the pain?
You: you better let the damn penguins gangbang the main macht
You: for all we need is love
Stranger: no time for insects, your macht is being raped!
ou: gotta dress her up, penguins are such bastards
Stranger: but... those are my penguins, admiral! the one with the purple coat is my father!
You: the Purple Coat Gangbanging Pirate Penguin is you father??? So that makes you Vegas then!
Stranger: no! but vegas is not me! it's my red-headed stepchild fifty times removed!
Stranger: admiral, nooooooooooo
You: That serves them right, those penguins! And you! You get back to Barbie and bang her for all the saints
Stranger: but... i'm not equipped to do such a thing! i will need a carrot! or the toothpaste i left at the hut. THE TOOOOOOTTTHHHPASSTEE
You: I'll get the toothpaste, my japanese schoolgirl friend owes me one. But you get you carrot in orderly condition at once!
Stranger: DON'T YOU LOVE ME?? I thought i was your carrotface. what happened to us??
You: You slept with my sister - Mary the Carrotdrive! I am no admiral of yours now! Not after what you've done!
Stranger: then, i will lay my head to rest on the melancholy potato of broken hearts and slowly die

Ezu: No love for trolls.

Stranger: hey
Stranger: asl?
You: 32 lvl m\half-elf Erenor
Stranger: sweet
You: you?
Stranger: 41 lvl troll
You: you flithy bastard
You have disconnected.

Crilly: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: My wife just died. WOO HOO! I drowned her. Multiple times. That bitch wouldnt die.
Stranger: o lol ur funny
You: I can move in my gf now. I got all my wifes stuff. About 5 mill in total.
Stranger: wow thats just luck how does ur wife look likw
Stranger: e
You: Well I also put her on fire so like ashes.
Stranger: do u have pictures of her before
You: A few. Also before I burned her I got a few organs. Sell em on the black market.
Stranger: lol ur funny
You: I also killed all our kids. The bitches wouldnt stop screaming and crying. After I stabbed one of them of course.]
Stranger: o thats just sad
You: Not really. They started laughing after the laughing gas "leaked" and them they "tried to kill me" and thus "was forced to retaliate."
Stranger: o wow
You: Not to mention they all had life insurance. I made about 10-11 million in the affair. Did I mention the gf is worth a few billion?
Stranger: no
You: Oh well I did now. Maybe you heard of her? Shes called Felicia Day?
Stranger: nope
You: Oh well shes a tv star. She is going to have a "accident" invloving a gas stove and the gas being left on.
Stranger: o
You: Well I am going to turn on the stove. Bye.

Twitter Trackbacks for Conversations With Strangers, by Tom Francis [pentadact.com] on Topsy.com: [...] First Tweet Apr 2, 2009 onthepradio tarci Influential http://www.pentadact... ...-strangers view retweet [...]

Michelle: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: 4chan
Stranger: the game
You: We seem to have hit a stalemate.
You: :|
Stranger: out of 2200 poeple that sucks
You: Yes yes it does.
Stranger: dog damn it where are all the koreans
You: they bore me...
Stranger: i talked to 1 4chaner twice in 15 min
You: nice
You: glad to know we are doing are job.
Stranger: haha yes you are
You: ;) we try
Stranger: keep lookin
Stranger: /b/rother
You: RULES 1 AND 2~
You: But thanks!
Stranger: and....26?
You: and 36
Stranger: i wich for 24
Stranger: 34
You: On what?
Stranger: not sure yet maybe the omegle logo?
Stranger: or is that 35
You: Request 34,
You: But 35 makes 34 true.
You: Any other questions about the rules? Or is my work here done?
Stranger: it is done
You: Farewell.
You have disconnected.

Rick: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: We're no strangers to love
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omegle – Talk to strangers! « my new blog (svade?): [...] http://www.pentadact... ...s#comments [...]

me: asking for secrets

I am illegally downloading the hangover
I have spoken with you just now ;)
I'm a 19 year old virgin.
*proot*
im horny
i love u
ok i am gay
ur gay
i have a hardone
oh and penguins are behind 9/11
i have a big penis
well i see dead ppl
I want to fuck my best friend.
I have twitter and im obsessed.
I have a penis and am homosexual
I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK
your mother is so ho
I just got scammed by a porn bot. They're everywhere now.
i am crazy about sex
I fucked my History School teacher

Caleb: Stranger: yo muggle!
You: herro prease
Stranger: is that some wierd kind of unmagic speak?
You: ...
Stranger: you guys are confusing
You: unmagic?
You: wouldn't that be like dark magic?
You: as it's the opposite of normal magic?
Stranger: no, it would be like, not magic
You: YOU BASTARD
You: you're a dark wizard, aren't you?
Stranger: .............
Stranger: AVADA KEDAVRA
You: Just hiding behind that facade of *DIES*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Lula: How did you ..
how can i do this
?
where did youu do this .
tell me

Returning Stranger: Sadly, having looked back into Omegle, it seems the quality has dropped noticably. And considering the low average quality before, that's saying something.

At least we were there when the goings were good. Ah, memories.

mouh: hi