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Update! Some great conversations from the comments added to the bottom of this post (now with moar!) Last night Waxy.org linked a service called Omegle, which instantly puts you in a one-on-one chat with an anonymous stranger. I tried it.
I said it “Supposedly” did this when I linked it on Twitter, because I thought it might be a bot coded to randomly insult people, as a joke on the stereotype that people on the internet are twats. After three conversations, that was still my prevailing theory. For my fourth, I decided to try and break the pattern by acting like an utter dick first. A pause. You: Did that make your head any better? I had to admit that it probably wasn’t a bot after all. Which suddenly made starting new conversations strangely compulsive. Stranger: Jesus loves you Stranger: z Stranger: o herd u liek You: Rah! You: Hi. I reckon your favourite colour is blue. Both Steve and Meteoracle shared shots of their conversations with wildly unhinged racists, and Steve inexplicably turned down an offer of sex with a robot. But one of my favourites was actually recounted to me by someone I was talking to on Omegle at the time: J-Man: Amusingly I was talking to a 14 year old girl, and she asked if I was single. I said yes, and she told me it was because I talk to 14 year old girls on the internet. You: Your appointment to FEMA should be finalized within the week. I’ve already discussed the matter with the Senator. EGTF You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Ush: Connecting to server… sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
You: go | ||
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Rob Hale: That last conversation could easily be the entire basis for an XKCD strip.
roBurky: I tried it after seeing your tweet, and after a couple if incomprehensible conversations, I came to the conclusion that it was a rubbish chat bot, too.
Then just as I started to talk to the chatbot like it was a chatbot, I got a normal person, and I felt foolish. Grill: I had a lovely chat with a US student skiving from his Mechanical engineering class, and we bonded over hating all forms of labour.
Either you're all social incompetents or the Turing test has been inadvertently passed, as average intelligence has been lowered to chatbot levels. Theoban: I loaded it up, got a big blank page prompting me to say 'hi', at which point the wealth of possibilities overwhelmed me and I had to close the browser and sit in the corner for a little while.
Jazmeister: Instantly got ASCII art of the pedobear. Next one, in under a second:
Stranger: CHRISTIAN FUCKING BALE! So I'm going to try pasting that to everybody. The first person I did this to just said "wtf?". I decided to disconnect before the entire affair had crested the ten second mark. This is great. It's soaking up all my very-tired-talky-spam. Andy Baio: It was dominated by 4chan kids for most of the day yesterday, who were then reposting all the lulz onto /b/. If you got racist slurs, ASCII art, or any reference to "the game," it was just them messing around.
Jason L: The Net's pretty good, yeah, but I could really use a few more tools for interacting with jackasses. I am an underserved market demo.
MartinJ: I decided to follow up on your "rah!". I'm greeting every stranger with "rah!" and then random "grr ghragh rrr" sounds. It's hilarious how every person reacts differently.
Chris Evans: I am currently having an interesting chat with some India fella about Cricket and F1. Very strange but very cool.
Littleedge: Stranger: asl?
Me: 100/God-like/Jupiter *long pause* Stranger: Sounds like an end-game boss Me: It should be actually... Me: What should we call the game? Stranger: BRB FBI Frosty Chives: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: HARD TIMES COMING YOUR WAY Stranger: WORLD PEACE CANT BE DONE Stranger: IT JUST Stranger: CANT EXIST Your conversational partner has disconnected. I feel enlightened. Nonomu198: Well, have I had some whacky conversations on there today. Too bad most of them started and ended shortly with "I HURD YOU LEIK MUDKIPS". The internet makes me sad. I satrted greeting people with "fleas", which got me around 10 instant disconnets from scared people. I had a long rather bland conversation with some guy for a long while, and that's about it. The other conversations were the usual "lmao gay butsecks". I took the chance to test my new power of invisablity to trick some people to think I am a really smart bot or the omegle's secret bot. Playing bot is fun sometimes.
Funny stuff: (after I got a "connection imploded" notiec on my last chat) You: OMG Stranger: Hallo You: MY LAST CHAT You: JUST IMPLODED You: I'm in shock Stranger: MINE TOO Stranger: gentelmen You: spy Stranger: This will be the next time you see mee Your conversational partner has disconnected. @Patrick You see this everywhere on the internet, sadly. Frosty Chives: I'm talking to a 19 year old lesbian about sexuality. An entirely serious conversation about sexuality on the internet.
I think the galaxy will collapse soon. J-Man: Amusingly I was talking to a 14 year old girl, and she asked if I was single. I said yes, and she told me it was because I talk to 14 year old girls on the internet.
Frosty Chives: @J-Man
Wow.. She really told you. ZomBuster: My last conversation was surprisingly civilized:
Me: Hi! Str: Hi! Me: Oh thank god a normal person Str: Oh you got those crazy ones too? horrible isn't it? Me: Yeh, you know, spamming racial slur etc. Str: Where do you live? And then we had a nice convo about the difference of living in Europe and America. AMP'd: @Pentadact
The user pool is small enough that if you get a bunch of people looking for each other using secret passwords, they will find someone they know. This might explain a lot to you, actually. Bret: I think I managed to convince a random internet moron I was an official survey guy.
And I had an elaborate conversation with an individual who either was named Tom or was playing a gag on me in response to my claims to know him. Either way, odd. And fun. Ush: Thats funny Bret, I've just had a conversation in which I accused the stranger of trying to perform a survey...
I am also curently inviting stangers to play games of Twenty Questions, with only partial success. Punjab: This one was fun:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: Ok stream of concioussness right? Up or down! You: Gogo! Stranger: up You: Sit or stand? Stranger: sit You: Yellow or green? Stranger: of course Stranger: green You: Inside or outside? Stranger: inside You: Yes or no? Stranger: yes You: Mouse or trackball? Stranger: touchscreen You: FPS or RPG? You: touche! Stranger: fps You: Light or dark? Stranger: dark You: Bean bag or armchair? Stranger: armchair. im not 14 You: Half empty or half full? Stranger: emty Stranger: p You: Buena Vista Social Club or Jimi Hendrix? Stranger: Buena Vista Social Club Stranger: b9? You: Awesome! You: Er... lemme think You: Comedy or action?! Stranger: comedy You: Left or right? Stranger: you gay? Stranger: right You: Godzilla or Gojirra? Stranger: gojirra' You: Mac or PC? Stranger: pc You: Theatre or Cinema? You: No not gay Stranger: you a guy? You: Yes Stranger: nice dick You: Circle or Square? Your conversational partner has disconnected. Bret: Oh, got the same guy twice once.
Weirdness. Second conversation went better, really. Awcko: Well, this seemed to be going well, right up until someone sent me an ASCII Goatse with the words "You just lost the game" in the hole.
Dave_C: I discovered this earlier today and spent about an hour giggling stupidly to myself while I got accosted by ASCII pedobears and ASCII Goatse.cx's.
You may not believe this, but I did have one nice, thoughtful conversation with a Belgian guy about fine beers, CSS and other stuff. Still, it's more fun to act like an insane person. Books could (and probably will) be written about this. Frosty Chives: I'd like to talk to someone who isn't a /b/tard.
Bret: I talked to a possibly French guy (or a non French dirty liar) who managed to carry on a conversation reasonably well.
We talked a little TV, some gaming, I pointed out Firefly and Marathon to him for future viewing reading or playing. Combine that with half a dozen totally illogical and cruel pranks on strangers, and you got a fun afternoon. Zorgulon: After four or five sensible conversations, and many more trollbaiting and pretending to be the Heavy Weapons Guy to complete strangers to gauge their reaction, I can say without dobut that this is quite possibly the best microcosm of the internet community as a whole.
SenatorPalpatine: the ASCII goatse was very funny and unexpected. It's a lot less scarey in text form.
I had some half-interesting conversations, and plenty of really weird encounters (Stranger: Oh my nipples they hurt! IT HURT WHEN I TWIST THEM You: that's normal, don't be alarmed Stranger: Oh Stranger: How about the bleeding and stuff? Your conversational partner has disconnected._), but I'm done. Btw, did anyone notice that the icon from the site had an "ohm" sign in it while it's named OM-egle. Ush: Otherwise fairly banal...
Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: *guitar riff* hello Stranger: *drum roll* FUCK YOU You: *thousands of people shouting at once* Well thats not polite Stranger: *people who care* What You: *a dozen horses screaming in unison* i mean you could have said "hi" Stranger: * A 1000 orphans crying * I'm Sorry let me start again HI You: *wind-up monkeys clanging together* Thats better, see? not so hard to be civil Stranger: *Loud noises* are you from a forum You: *the laughter of children remixed* Oh no, nasty dirty places they are. You: *cello solo in an empty hall* where are you from? Stranger: * 200 african americans* they are nice places to meet new friends Stranger: *400 cups of tea clanking* im from britain You: *trumpets blaring* i am from a country quite close to britain Stranger: *I have ran out of noises* france? You: *coins hitting a marble floor from a height* nope! You: *sheet metal being torn* To be honest Im not going to say. Stranger: * strange gruntiing noises* sweeden Stranger: * fecal matter hitting porcelain* why You: *discordant flutes* nope! because I am a naturally paranoid person. whats it like out where you are? Stranger: * children crying* awful but the weather is getting better You: *The worlds largest fishbowl being tapped with a hollow iron bar* 'twas a lovely day here! I say, do you like tea? Stranger: *N/A* No You: *echoing footsteps* Thats a shame. There is a lot to be enjoyed with a good cup of tea. You: *A heifer in heat* Take Earl Gray, for example. Stranger: to be honest i have never had a full cup of tea You: *Steam whistle* You really should try one you know. Take Earl Gray, for instance. You: *The dark hum of space* Strong and refreshing like regular tea, but with a hint of lemon that affects your pallette in a completely different way... Stranger: I see Stranger: anyway i best be off chap Your conversational partner has disconnected. maybenexttime: I was having a perfectly innocent, if sarcastic, conversation about Omegle which suddenly became worryingly sexual after Stranger cried: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.
Stranger: my penis is waggling very happily at this conversation I made good my escape pretty hastily after that point. sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
You: >What wouldst thou do? You: > Stranger: FUCK YOUR MOTHER. You: >You approach the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, brandishing your sword. You: >The FUCK YOUR MOTHER attacks! Stranger: SUCK MY DICK, FUCK YOUR MOTHER You: >FIGHT >ITEMS >FLEE Stranger: >FLEE You: >You cannot escape! The FUCK YOUR MOTHER is far too large! Stranger: >ITEMS Stranger: >ITEMS Stranger: >ITEMS Stranger: >ITEMS Stranger: >ITEMS You: >You open up your SATCHEL to ruffle through your ITEMS. You have with you a BANANA, a MICK'S TAPE, and a SMALL ROCK. What woudst thou do? Stranger: >use BANANA to FUCK YOUR MOTHER You: >You throw your mighty BANANA at the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, who falls writhing to the ground in agony. You: >You have defeated the FUCK YOUR MOTHER! Stranger: FUCK YEAH! You: >You gain three experience points, and the TOE OF THE FUCK YOUR MOTHER. You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP Stranger: >QUIT You: >NO ESCAPE Stranger: oh shi- You: >YOU SHALL PLAY FOREVER
Bret: I think I briefly convinced someone Spiro Agnew was acting president for two days.
So, yeah. Mr. Brit: Stranger >I stand alone in the rain, I wander aloud; why did he leave me
You >That depends. Did you put out? Stranger >I gotit out does that count? You >I don't think so You > Why do you think he left? Stranger> Cause I asked him to suck me off then threw up on my shoe Stranger >A friend helped me home Stranger >And I stumbled onto the internet Your conversational partner has disconnected Mr. Brit: Also, those otters are adorable :D
Joe D.: Stranger: Demomen?
You: Spah! Stranger: NO WAY ...and so forth. Turns out he plays on the same server as me. Who knew? Caskwarrior: You: what country are you in?
Stranger: ok Stranger: wales You: sweet You: coal mines ftw Stranger: you? You: australia, also coal mines You: we rape all the fossil fuels Stranger: LOL Stranger: LOL You: hydrocarbons are shit anyway Stranger: australia lol kaoo land You: ?? Stranger: nvm lol You: ohh kangaroos, fucking vermin Nicolo The Magnificent: I ended up greifing people.
Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: hi Stranger: ?? ??????? You: English? Stranger: no speak Stranger: help? Stranger: no well speak You: ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT You: WHAT? Stranger: ??? ? ? ???? You: WHAT AINT NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF. You: THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT? Stranger: ;_; Stranger: ??? ?????? You: SAY WHAT AGAIN You: I DARE YOU You: I DOUBLE DARE YOU Stranger: ??? ?????? You: It's from a movie Stranger: ?? ?????. Stranger: IT'S "I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU", you loser. Your conversational partner has disconnected. Can't speak english my ass. Justice: Stranger: real talk
You: Alrighty then You: What do you define as real? You: Serious discussion, or philosophy? Stranger: Hellman's Mayonnaise So now we know what the internet thinks! UberSprode: Stranger: Sup, droog!
You: fettucini Stranger: yum Stranger: salmon You: bacon Stranger: cheesecake You: apple fritter Stranger: devil's food cake You: eggs benedict, with a side of toast Stranger: hash browns with scrambled eggs You: chili cheese dog Stranger: Shredded BBQ Beef on a Hoagie bun You: General Tso's Chicken Stranger: Dick's Burger Drive-In You: Mashed potatoes in garlic gravy Stranger: Twice baked potatoes You: Chicken Alfredo Stranger: halibut over baby shrimp with a mild curry sauce You: sweet and sour pork with sticky rice and an eggroll Stranger: Tempura udon noodles You: New York style pizza with canadian bacon and pineapple Stranger: european style thin pizza with ham You: Gyros and seasoned fries Stranger: saffron couscous under grilled chicken and veggies You: pasties Stranger: ranger cookies You: whole wheat waffles Stranger: Thin hot cakes like my dad makes You: pan fried perogies Stranger: pan fried scallops You: Chicken soup with stars Stranger: Spaghetti Os You: t-bone steak with A1 sauce Stranger: Pork Chops You: turkey pot pie Stranger: scottish style Meat Pie You: Coconut malt Stranger: like I got back in Lybster Stranger: Chocolate malt You: german chocolate cake Stranger: Peanut Butter M&Ms Stranger: simple You: lava fudge brownie with vanilla ice cream Stranger: I gatta go Stranger: I think you win You: aww You: at least I got a good grocery list now You: thanks :D Stranger: haha Kadir: I've been experimenting with using "go" as my first word. So far I've gotten 2 interesting ones:
You: go Stranger: to hell You: go Stranger: home You: go Stranger: shopping You: go Stranger: in hell You: go Stranger: in the pooper You: go Stranger: go daddy You: go Stranger: go gadget go You: go Stranger: get You: a Stranger: great You: big Stranger: fucking You: bunch Stranger: of You: pickles Stranger: that You: smell Stranger: like You: they Stranger: were You: about Stranger: to You: go Stranger: have You: a Stranger: flight You: of Stranger: greatness You: to Stranger: alpha You: centari Stranger: to You: find Stranger: ender You: and Stranger: his You: huge Stranger: influential You: admired Stranger: sister You: who Stranger: wrote You: about Stranger: the You: war Stranger: let's stop right now and agree we need to be friends, okay?? Jazmeister: Kadir: That is gut-achingly funny.
sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: You inspired me to start building a piece of interactive fiction entirely written by the spontaneous explorations of the /b/tards on omegle, and my increasingly honed replies. Having notepad open for pasting helps. It's called DEATH KEEP. Thanks chum! LordNuts: Stranger: Ninja!
You: Oh no, my samurai skills are too low! You: Can I use my smoke bomb? Stranger: i you want to. You: *POOF* After that I disconnected. J-Man: I'm a highlight! I feel so special!
Bobsy: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: These are your instructions, agent. There is an envelope taped under your desk. Stranger: REALLY Stranger: awesome Stranger: i'll look Stranger: you're wrong You: Inside the evelope is $300 cash and a passport. You: What? Stranger: there was an used condom You: The envelope is gone, huh? Stranger: oh wait Stranger: now i found it Stranger: what to do now You: Can you check the passport? We've had a bunch of cases where interns have fucked things up. You: What name's on there? Stranger: Stranger: that's what it says Stranger: country Estonia You: Shit. It was supposed to be Madame Superteeth. Stranger: damn You: THIS ENTIRE OPERATION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED Stranger: what to do now Stranger: do i need to burn the envelope You: Oh, just invade Russia. It's like an all-purpose contingency plan. Stranger: ok good Stranger: what should i do there You: Agent, you KNOW what to do. You: Signing off. You have disconnected. Bobsy: But with a snipped out name in case he was actually giving a real name, natch.
Zig13: You can always trust James to bring you the coolest stuff the internet has to offer. Great job Tom!
Quasar: Hah, what a fantastic website. In my first convo, we debated the merits of various cheese types, ultimately choosing Cheddar as the clear winner. In my second, I spent an hour debating politics with a guy from Ohio.
Interesting social experiment, methinks... There's no rules, really. There are no consequences to what you say, so you can say anything... J-Man: Turns out few people on Omegle have played Deus Ex.
You: Your appointment to FEMA should be finalized within the week. I've already discussed the matter with the Senator. Stranger: hi! Stranger: whut? You: He didn't really have a choice. Stranger: who did'nt... You: When I mentioned we could put him on the priority list for the Ambrosia vaccine, he was so willing it was almost pathetic Stranger: you did'nt kill him did you? You: Why contain it? Let it spill over the schools and churches, let the bodies pile up in the streets. In the end they'll beg us to save them. Stranger: Lets see... I'm actually kind in to that You: They can smell their deaths, and the sound they'll make rattling their cages will serve as a warning to the rest. Stranger: i love it You: The world left them behind long ago. We are the future. Stranger: lets kill m all You: Our biochem corpus is far in advance of theirs, as is our electronic sentience, and their... 'ethical inflexibility' has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider. Stranger: true... true You: But, I must admit, I've been somewhat disappointed with the performance of the primary unit. Stranger: Well, mine is work. dont know about yours? You: We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again. A new age. Aquinas spoke of the mythical city on the hill, soon that city will be a reality and we will be crowned its kings. Or, better than kings... gods. Stranger: I'm not sure if we should become what we want to be. The goverment is lying about the fact that they will support us. Who will tell? You: All right. I get the picture. You want a piece of the pie, or you're going to toss the whole pie out the window. Fair enough. You can have anything you want. How about Europe? Your own continent. Just let me complete my preparations. Stranger: Go ahead. let my see You: What an expensive mistake you turned out to be. I've ordered the troops to kill you, because quite frankly I don't have the patience to wait for one of those damn killswitches to work. Your conversational partner has disconnected. Roadrunner: I was somewhat dissapointed when I found a normal person :(
But this pleased me: Stranger: hi You: Hi Stranger: hi You: hi Stranger: hi You: hi Stranger: hi You: hi Stranger: hi You: hi Stranger: hi You: hi Stranger: hi You: hi Stranger: hi That continued for a while. MartinJ: J-Man, I offically hate you. You made me dig up my ancient copy of Deus Ex again... grr
Sam: Stranger: you play CS or any other game?
Stranger: or are you just 1337 by birth? You: tf2 mostly You: i did a barrel roll as soon as i was born Stranger: dude. you win in life You: I just let ceiling cat work through me Stranger: basement cat is my dealer Stranger: does that mean we're natural, sworn enemies'ð Stranger: *? You: or you're a spah! You: mmmph, mmph mmm! Stranger: that made me lol It helps to know lots of memes J-Man: Aw thanks, Tom. And sorry Martin. I missed a little bit of Bob's lines, but Walton Simons is my favourite character of all time, so I know lots of his dialogue.
Spy: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Ahem. Stranger: Ahem You: Well, this was a disappointment! You: Just lay your weapons down and walk away. Stranger: Nio Stranger: I will resist Stranger: and survive Stranger: and kil you, maybe You: I'm going to gut you like a cornish game hen. Stranger: Really ? Stranger: You can't kill me You: Oh, please! Stranger: I'm go Stranger: d You: Huhuhuhuh Stranger: Do you know that Jesus was a raptor ? Stranger: Yeah, a giant lizard, just like you. You: I never really was on your side. You: *STAB* You: Oh dear, I've made quite a mess. You have disconnected. Bumface The Brave: Note: A healthy knowledge of US politics helps when you're talking to Americans.
You: be afraid Stranger: of what? You: the recession You: and spiders Stranger: screw the recession Stranger: i love spiders You: woah You: OMG You: You're Barack Obama, right? Stranger: screw that Stranger: i hate those people You: Politicians? Stranger: no... You: ... Black people? D: Stranger: no your freaking racist Stranger: democrats Robert64: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I love chocolate Stranger: Jebus? You: nope, chocolate Stranger: Not Jebus? You: nope Stranger: Shit You: In fact, I hate him You: for not existing Stranger: He loves you though Stranger: He also loves chocolate You: He loves chocolate, though? You: phew Stranger: He can make it Stranger: From poo You: I LOVE JEBUS You have disconnected. EGTF: Tom, you've started a dangerously addicting craze. I've learnt about the Beeb, duelled, and had my mother accosted numerous times as well as my sexuality. Plus mind games on a whole new level, where people try to see how gullible I am and I counter with over friendliness. Like so -
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: oh its you! hows it been goin? You: Oh my it's you too! You: Very well You: How've things been since we last spoke? Stranger: fag Stranger: go die in a fire Your conversational partner has disconnected. Ahh, so englightening. Frosty Chives: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Ducks have no thumbs. Stranger: Discuss. You: Well You: The problem, you see You: Is that there is also a lack of hands You: And other fingers You: Your thoughts? Stranger: Quite. Though is it the lack of thumbs or do we have a surplus of thumbs? You: Aha! You have asked a question as old as time itself, dear boy! Stranger: And with that I'm off! Your conversational partner has disconnected. Mr. Brit: Rober64, DO NOT TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!
Also Stranger: chris is it iworking You: no it ain't Stranger: ha You: lift it up your end Stranger: there you are Stranger: funny Stranger: so what do we do now You: I dunno Stranger: well i have finished the peterson paperwork you will be pleased to know You: I don't remember that... Stranger: get back on msn Stranger: this is weird You: whats ur email? Stranger: huh? Stranger: chris dont kid You: I'm steve.... Stranger: oh Stranger: chris said to log on and he would be right here? You: Well he ain't You: Geez Stranger: it is you isnt it?? You: mebbe Stranger: ha Stranger: been drinking? You have disconnected I am neither Chris nor Steve Flowerpot Wang: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: hello, I am God Stranger: hi god You: hai You: wassup dawg Stranger: sorry but i dont believe in god You: *poof You have disconnected. Mr. Brit: Ok, Robert64 if you weren't the guy I spoke to, ignore my above comment. I just ran into another guy who opened with 'I like chocolate' and it might have been him the first time :P
Roadrunner: I'm not going to post it, but I just opened one up. I said hi.
he said hi. Then he posted a brilliantly but disgustingly crafted piece of ASCII art... It was Goatse with "you lost the game" in the anus. Robert64: @ MR.Brit: I chose to start with I love chocolate because 3 times of 10, the stranger started the conversation with it. Either it was a craze sweeping the users, or it was one person exploiting a failed randomizing algorithm.
Robert64: Posted this just for the end:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: what's the best sex you ever had? You: With you last night, my stallion Stranger: Oh thanks Stranger: Is it you Susan? Stranger: :) You: Yes, of course Stranger: GREAT Stranger: Ive been looking for you You: Hang on, is there someone else? Stranger: did you get the email Stranger: cause Im not sure it went through You: Yes, it was... riveting Stranger: great Stranger: hehe Stranger: so... Stranger: how did it go with james You: WE DID NOTHING! I SWEAR! You: I mean, fine Stranger: ure so crazy You: That's why you love me Stranger: "stallion" Stranger: :D You: Just, I was going to go to... somewhere with James tonight, so I will see you tomorrow Stranger: what about tht thing we talked about eralier Stranger: if there is something you wanna try Stranger: something new Stranger: speaking of stallion Stranger: ;) You: Just, not tonight You: I'll be with James, doing nothing at all suspicious. Stranger: hmm You: (OOC) BTW, my name is james Stranger: Youre not susan Roadrunner: the /b/tards have invaded :(
Stranger: a/s/l? You: 1464/ent/middle earth Stranger: TOO OLD Stranger: ………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_ ……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-, ……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’, ……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; | …………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘ ………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘ ………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’ ………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’, ……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’, …………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : ; ; ; | ……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-,,_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;| …………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-~’’ , , , , ,,,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;| ..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| ……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, …….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | . . . . . . ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-, ……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’ ………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘, ……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-,,_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-, ……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, ……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-, …..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’ …,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-,,,,,--~~’’’’’’~-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,- …| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘ …’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _,,-‘’ ….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯ …..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ………’’~-,,_ ; ; ; ; _,,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘ ………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘ ………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘ …………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| …………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, ………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, ………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’…………………’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’ ……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,, ………….¯…’’………………………..’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~,, ……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,, ………………………………………………..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ,,_ ; ;’-,’’-, …………………………………………………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,__,--. ……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ , ,|, | ………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘ Feel free to get rid of that ascii there. AlphaTM: Stranger: hi
You: iH Stranger: like polish men? You: ?nem hsilop ekiL You: ?olleH Stranger: why you writing from backside? You: What do you mean "backside" You: thats incorrect grammar Stranger: so what is correct? You: now drop and give me twenty You: DO IT Stranger: why? Stranger: i don't have twenty... You: YOU DO NOT QUESTION ME You: UNLESS YOU WANT A CRACKED SKULL You: MAGGOT Stranger: r u ok? You: NOW GIVE ME TWENTY You: "R U"? You: PROPER GRAMMAR You: MAGGOT Stranger: are you teacher? You: NO You: I AM YOUR SERGEANT You: NOW GIVE ME TWENTY Stranger: i'm not a soldier You: YOU ARE NOW Stranger: in wich formation? Stranger: or division You: THE MARINES Stranger: i really wish to go there! You: april fools lolololol I... Don't know what came over me there. Nathan: Stranger: Hi
You: hi there You: how are you Stranger: Fine, You? You: pretty good You: you're not a troll, are you? Stranger: Ofc not You: good You: too many of those around today Stranger: Ask my friend, Rick: Stranger: ........................................................................... .................,-~~'''''''~~--,,_ ........................................................................... .........,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-, ........................................................................... ....,~''::::::::',::::::::::::::::::::|', ........................................................................... ....|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':} ........................................................................... ....'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : : ........................................................................... ....|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: | ........................................................................... ...(_''~-': : : :::o: : : :o: : : ........................................................................... ....'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP ........................................................................... ........|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ --NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN! ........................................................................... ...,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-' ........................................................................__, -';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/| ...............................................................__,-~'';;;;; ;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :',__ ...................................................,-~~~''''_;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;',. .''-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;''-,__ ................................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .''|::::::::|. .,';;;;;;;;;;''-, ................................................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,'. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;| .............................................,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',: : |__|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,';;| ...........................................,-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;;;. . |:::|. . .'',;;;;;;;;|;;/ ........................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;. . |::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/ ......................................../;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,';;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;; |..|. . . .|;;;;;;;;| ......................................./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'', |.;|. . . . ;;;;;;;| ....................................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'';;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|. |.;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;| ................................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;| |:|. . . . |;;;;;;;| ...............................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |:|. . . .'|;;',;;;;;| ..............................|;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |:|. . .,';;;;;',;;;;|_ ............................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'_;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|''''~-, ............................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_'',;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__ ........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| |:|._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_ ......................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'....,';;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::'''~--~'''||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~''''~--, ......................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'....../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::::::::::::|;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;''-,: : : : : :'''~-,:'''~~--, ...................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'......,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|::::::::::::::',;;;;;;|_''''~--,,-~---,,___,- ~~'''__''~- ..................,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;;|.....................' '-,_''-,''-,''~ ................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|...................... Your conversational partner has disconnected. Jazmeister: My mum was on this, it was great. She and my dad were sitting around their little laptop and my mum kept posting Burns poems to some poor stoner in ohio. Eventually he said something like "r u a nigger" and she was like "Once you've had black, you don't go back!". It was great. This is great. These are all great.
I'm stuck on my little real-live adventure game kick, though. It's like playing games in reverse! Senock: You: Hello
You: Hello? You: Are you still there? Stranger: hi Stranger: sorry I had bacon grease on my hands Stranger: had to wipe it on something You: That was something i hardly needed to know] You: Oh well You: Bacon is delicous isnt it Stranger: yeah but this bacon is really fatty Stranger: I have a piece of grizzle stuck between my teeth You: Ahhhh the cheap stuff huh Stranger: no this was $10 for 5 pieces You: Why is it that the only people ive talked to on this thing are pretty sane You: I want some frikkin insane people to talk to. You: ... Stranger: I'm kinda insane Stranger: I am married to my cousin You: I just realized I am becoming an insane person Stranger: ohweally? You: OMG you live in the deep south dont you? You: Like an alabamian (if that is how you spell that) Stranger: Alabama Stranger: Whoa good guess You: Sweet lets discuss various methods of hogtying and whipperwallin Yipee yee haw Stranger: suuuueeeiiiii Stranger: thats my pig call Stranger: i won 1st price this year You: Nah Im lying I dont actually hog tie anything and I am ashamed because of It You: "sad face" You: How did you find this website? Stranger: you dirty rotten scoudrel, I oughtta tie you up and call Hank to come with the shotgun, but use bacon grease insteada bullets Stranger: my uncle charley has a personal computer You: Oh snap The Feuds Back on, HONEY GET YOUR CHILLINS OUT OF THE BATHTUB AND HEAD UP TO AUNT FRITZYS TO WEATHER IT OUT Stranger: i only has one kid Stranger: hes a good boy You: Sooooo... Truce? Stranger: awww shucks, okay You: Then let this mark the glorious day of our everlasting union between YOU and STRANGER!!! You: Right on! You: Man that bacon grease must be one greasy sons o guns that ever did curse the nimble fingers of STRANGER Stranger: if yur ever in Alabama drop on by for some corn fritters and apple pie Stranger: and maybe even a hog You: Yippee yee haw to that good buddy You have disconnected. condemnedsnowman: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: go Stranger: Pawn to C-3 You: king commits sepuku Stranger: Fuck, now how do I win You: lol Stranger: Cheating bastard You: battle royale Your conversational partner has disconnected. Kadir: More go:
You: go Stranger: Quick! You: Faster! Stranger: hide under the covers! You: They're coming! Stranger: keep the lights on! You: no don't! You: turn them off, we'll be spotted! Stranger: they can't leave the shadows! You: They've done it before! Stranger: if the lights are off, WE ARE IN SHADOW! Stranger: oh god Stranger: when? how? Stranger: we're fucked You: uh oh You: here they come You: SHIIIIIIIIIIII You have disconnected. You: go Stranger: suck You: my Stranger: cock You: or Stranger: my You: aunt's Stranger: best You: biggest Stranger: plant You: with Stranger: ten You: of Stranger: the You: best Stranger: plumbers You: in Stranger: my You: lifetime Stranger: but You: after Stranger: that You: go Stranger: see You: jane Stranger: doe You: and Stranger: kill You: her Stranger: or You: her Stranger: and You: john Stranger: with You: a Stranger: nutty You: fiery Stranger: because You: I Stranger: hate You: your Stranger: jewish You: food Stranger: it You: tastes Stranger: like You: a Stranger: ballsack You: covered Stranger: with You: feces Stranger: from You: your Stranger: mothers You: big Stranger: fat You: asshole You: the end You have disconnected. You: go Stranger: stop You: start Stranger: finish You: begin Stranger: end You: alpha Stranger: zeta You: a Stranger: z You: 1 Stranger: 9 You: uhhh You: hell, you win You have disconnected. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: go Stranger: Stop You: start Stranger: finish You: dark Stranger: light You: straight Stranger: gay You: qwerty Stranger: poiuy You: 123 Stranger: 456 You: christianity Stranger: SATANISM! You: good music Stranger: bad music You: UPPER CASE Stranger: lower case You: Insert Home Page Up Stranger: Insert Home Page Down You: windows key Stranger: apple key You: opposite Stranger: is the word of the day! You: it's opposite, opposite, opposite day! You: happy april 1st! Stranger: April Fool's! You have disconnected. Lack_26: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi Your conversational partner has disconnected. No one wants to talk to me. Lack_26: Yey, someone talked to me. Extract
"Stranger: I'm in a glass cube You: You're not David Blaine by any chance are you? Stranger: maybe I am Stranger: I don't think so You: He sat in glass cube over the Thames You: Everyone threw eggs at him Stranger: why - did you want to throw sausages at me? You: No, just bacon." J-Man: I'm a highlight twice! I feel super-special!
Ludo: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: where is the love? Stranger: What ? xD Stranger: My Love in my Foot^^ You: wow awesome You: how?? Stranger: Dont know xD You: dude that is whack You: do you know where mine is? Stranger: no Stranger: xD You: bugger Stranger: lol You: always annoying when I lose the love Stranger: lol You: I FOUND IT Stranger: where? You: It was in my EAR. I mean, wtf Stranger: lol You: I don't know how it got there but I'm happy now You: Thankyou for helping me find it :D Stranger: xD ok r0fl You have disconnected. Okimin: I am trying to get people play a text adventure. It doesnt seem to be working
Joe D.: Keep trying, Okimin. Try starting with the first line of Zork. It works for me.
Jazmeister: I use notepad for easy pasting, and when they disconnect, pore over the chatlog for any chunks of exposition i can re-use. It's fun to let the experiences of past players shape the current game world, especially if you let their actions and corpses persist. It's just hard to organise. Makes me wanna dig out that PCG tutorial and just make a legit text adventure.
Anyone find any ad-bots or marketers on there? What about positively identifying people you already know? Redhawk: I started trying to be a dick in one of the conversations but the guy said he was Cajun and he spoke French and seemed awfully polite. I felt guilty and disconnected.
Dan: This is the greatest thing ever and the rubbishest.
The majority of random guys you end up talking to are searching for girls to chat up. The majority of random girls I end up talking to I can't help but attempt to chat up. It's interesting to try new things with conversations. Really though, this is nothing but an instant chat service. Chat was already anonymous and with strangers...just the strangers had names. Dan: Ok. I take back what I just said as I just had a seriously awesome conversation with someone. Then the bloody thing crashed. I'll never speak to that person again which I find stupidly depressing, especially since we were both having a great conversation.
C'est la vie I guess. An even better Dan!: Stranger: im going to be frank, the ass sex doesnt sound very pleasant at all.
You: im going to be mary, and tell you that it DOES Bobsy: Taking the idea of text adventuring again:
Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: It is very dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. > Stranger: turn on lamp You: You turn on your LAMP. You are in a dark corridor. Exits are NORTH and SOUTH > Stranger: n You: You go NORTH. You are in a plush bedroom. There is a television in the corner, and a packet of cigarettes on the bedside table. > Stranger: look at cigarettes You: Looks like an ordinary pack o' fags. There is a government health warning on the side which states "SMOKING SERIOUSLY MAKES BABY JESUS CRY, SO DON'T DO IT, FOOL" > Stranger: smoke cigarette You: You don't have a light! > Stranger: verbose You: I'm sorry I don't know how to "verbose"! You are in a plush bedroom. There is a television in the corner, and a packet of cigarettes on the bedside table. > Stranger: look for matches You: You search the bedroom carefully. You do not find any matches, but you find a TOTALLY SWEET LIGHTER under the pillow. What a fire hazard! You pick up the TOTALLY SWEET LIGHTER. > Stranger: smoke cigarette You: You fire up that bad boy and take a few experimental puffs. Ugh! Menthol! As you smoke you hear a sinister rumble of thunder from above. > Stranger: look at totally sweet lighter You: Wow! The TOTALLY SWEET LIGHTER is in the shape of a dragon. Now that is METAL! You have gained a new skill: ROCK OUT There is another rumble of thunder. > Stranger: take cock from pants You: You take the COCKERAL from your pants. You're not exactly sure why you keep it there, but it clucks appreciatively. > Stranger: rock out You: You hold up the lighter and start to mosh vigorously around the room. ROCK! ROCK! RAAAAAGH! The COCKERAL looks at you with wise approval. You gain 5 COCK POINTS. > Stranger: turn on tv, turn tv to Headbanger's Ball You: You turn on the television, but all you get is static. Terrible, wonderful, hypnotic static. The COCKERAL is mesmerised by the screen. > Stranger: are they here? You: The COCKERAL turns slowly and fixes you with a cold, expressionless poultry face. It clucks something at you, but you do not have enough COCK POINTS to activate your CHICKENTALK skill. > Stranger: stroke cock You: You stroke the COCKERAL. It barely seems to notice. You gain 1 COCK POINT. Stranger: invent internet, hypnotize cockeral You: The COCKERAL is already hypnotised! Your efforts are in vain. The internet has already been invented! You are not fooling anyone. Except maybe GWB. > Stranger: give cigarette to chicken You: You give the COCKERAL a CIGARETTE. Even in its hypnotic torpor, the COCKERAL is drawn to the prospect of Sweet Maiden Nicotine, and starts smoking. Impressive, considering it hasn't got any fingers or thumbs. There is an even louder rumble of thunder. > Stranger: hail satan! You: You hail satan. There is an almight explosion from above which shatters the ceiling and throws you across the room. In a second the plush bedroom is set into a blazing inferno, engulfing television, cock and cigarette pack alike. > Stranger: defile the cockeral corpse You: You defile the DELICIOUS ROAST CHICKEN. It doesn't make you feel any better. You lose all your COCK POINTS! You are on fire! You are burning fast! > Stranger: piss on myself You: You try to wee, but nothing comes out. Desperately you try to remember when you last had a drink. Oh man, it was ages ago! You are on fire! You are burning fast! > Stranger: accept christ, an hero You: You accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your saviour. It begins to rain. You are on fire! You are burning fast! > Stranger: go out into rain You: You walk out in the rain, putting the fire out. Phew! Out of the corner of your eye you notice a few loose CIGARETTES that have somehow survived the blast. > Stranger: get cigarettes You: You pick up the remaining CIGARETTES. Mmmm... You could sure use a smoke after all that, right? > Stranger: smoke cigarette You: You smoke a CIGARETTE. A second blast of lightning hits you directly, flash-frying you in an instant. As you smoulder on the floor a heavenly voice from on high whispers: "Told you it made me cry." You are DEAD! Final score 3/50 Thankyou for playing! Stranger: load autosave Chijts: Bobsy dude did that really happen? Did you make that up beforehand?? That was totally awesome, and if you made that all up on the spot my hat goes off to you sir, and to the stranger.
Okimin: oh my god. I pledge to you good sir.
Bobsy: Yeah, totally improv'd. This is the way all text adventures should play. I get totally narked off every time I try my hand at any IF because it won't recognise my rather wordy commands. Every time it claims to not understand what I've typed I get angry. This is why I like MS Paint Adventures.
Bear in mind that I tried the "you are likely to be eaten by a grue" line about five times before this one, and got only A/S/L for my troubles. This one guy that actually played along obviously wanted to continue, but I needed to actually do some work instead. Bobsy: Huh, for some reason there's a bit missing in between >stroke cock and >invent internet. It reads:
Stranger: lose 2000 Florida election You: You lose the election due to some fuss about hanging chads. Eight years later your election campaign is forgotten but people respect your environmental initiatives. The COCKERAL voted republican. And it knows you know it. > Which makes the next command make a bit more sense. Bobsy: You: Control, this is serious. I've lost most of my team. Alpha 3 and I are all that's left.
Stranger: OMG. Stranger: EWW You: Can you send assistance? Stranger: GAMER Your conversational partner has disconnected. That's right! We ARE second-class citizens! Barotte: I'm afraid I never managed to save the conversation, but I can recreate it from memory:
Stranger: What's the time?! You: 10:14, my friend You: AM Stranger: We're both in the UK! You: Well, I'm in Scotland! >:D Stranger: :-o SO AM I! You: Woaaaah, sweet Stranger: Where about are you? You: I'm in Falkirk, between Glasgow and Edinburgh Stranger: oh my god... i'm there too!!!! You: Hahaha, prove it. Stranger: Well, I'm sitting in Graeme High School You: WHAT You: THE You: HELL?!?!?! You: I'M THERE TOO. Turns out it was a guy who's two years above me at school sitting in the School library. We were mildly acquainted, I made my way to the library and we embraced. I am serious. What are the damn odds? Barotte: Okay, I'm pretending to be a guy named Derrick, here.
Stranger: YO! Stranger: stranger whats up You: Hey, I'm Derrick! Stranger: DERRICK! Stranger: You seem fuckin chill You: That's because I am Stranger: we should arrange a meeting You: I am the fuckinist Chilliest guy there is. You: Your house, 6pm? Stranger: shit thats chill Stranger: wait Stranger: is derrick a guys name Stranger: are you a guy You: Is that a turn-off? :( Stranger: since i am a man Stranger: yes Your conversational partner has disconnected. Chijts: To be in the same place at the same time aswell, that's just madness. Who'd have thought this Omegle thing would be so entertaining?
ClOGS: Stranger: hi
You: no Stranger: asl You: ??? You: WHAT dO yOU MENA? You: oh Stranger: 21 male holland You: OMG Stranger: you You: 21 female holland Stranger: haha Stranger: ait Stranger: :P You: wait You: I forgot You: what was our secret plan to take over america again CLOGS AND CHEEESE Stranger: i dont care Stranger: are you horny? You: IF YOU DONT TELL ME I WILL TAKE MY WOODEN SHOES AND KILL YOU You: IN HOLLAND CloakRaider: You: HURGUGHGH
Stranger: HELLO You: Hello there. Stranger: how are you You: I SWEAR HE FELL I DIDN'T PUSH HIM You: I mean, fine. Stranger: ...that's good You: Excellent, first let me just say thisYour conversational partner has disconnected. Jazmeister: Favourite response to a/s/l: 13/f/canada.
Awesome stuff Bobsy! I get a lot of rejects. I tried letting everyone's corpses pile up in the entryway to hell, with things they've said, like "brasil?", somehow scrawled on their arms or in the nearby marble. Lots of people disconnected when they saw a dead guy, though. I'm also messing around with acting as a proxy between two Omeglers, not quite sure how to make it really fun yet. Bret: Got a mildly interesting failure
Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Stranger: sex You: With what? Stranger: wouldnt you like to know You: Wouldn't you like to know is not a recognized object. Stranger: obviously You: Obviously is not a recognized object. Did you mean Oblong? Stranger: no You: You do not have a "No" in your inventory. You: A grue draws closer. Stranger: guess You: You are eaten by a grue. Your score: 0/50. Try again? Stranger: i duno what your saying You: "duno" is not a recognized command. Stranger: DONT KNOW=dunno=duno You: "Duno" is still not a recognized command. Your conversational partner has disconnected. Text adventures are fun. Ludo: Wow I just had a lovely chat with a normal person on Omegle! I was surprised. It was actually sort of touching to have a genuinely interesting conversation with someone I've never met, and will never meet again. Makes enduring the 4Chan crap kind of worth it.
Ludo: You: wow you like meat pies? most american's I've spoken too find the idea crazuy
Stranger: Yeah man they taste awesome Stranger: I heard about cornish pasties too, never had one but want to try You: mmm I like a steak and ale pie with a pint of beer You: cornish pasties are like a meal in a bit of pastry You: potato onions and meat in a big lump basically lol You: as I said, not subtle! Stranger: http://thisiswhyyour... ...efat.com/ Stranger: check that stuff out, that's whats wrong with america You: lol oh my god that two pound mcdonalds cheeseburger is insane! Stranger: I saw a huge pirate ship made out of like 10 types of meat You: :O Okimin: I've been trying to start that Patrick Bateman Huey Lewis and the news monologue but they keep leaving to early ) :
Bret: And one more for the road.
Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: ... Stranger: Hey You: ... Stranger: ... You: .... Stranger: Zalgo? You: ..... Stranger: Do you liek mudkipz? You: ... Stranger: This is a brilliant conversation You: ... Stranger: I feel like a better person for having been involved in this conversation. You: ........ Stranger: They're coming for you David. You: .......... Stranger: You're name might not be David, but DAMN that would've been fun! You: .. You: ..... Stranger: Are you doing the whole mysterious stranger thing? You: ............. Stranger: Resistance is futile! You: . Stranger: .... You: ..... Stranger: GIRUGAMESH! You: ........ Stranger: Ole' man river. You: ... Stranger: What has science done? You: . ... Stranger: I grow weary of this line of enquiry. You: . Stranger: You play WoW? You: .. .. ... .. Stranger: Lulz Stranger: Ik hou van jou You: ..... Stranger: Do you ever think how truly unimportant we are in the overall scheme of the universe? Your conversational partner has disconnected. Baggie: Man, every 2/3 people are looking for women on this thing now.
However I got a REALLY awesome ASCII mario just then, so I'll continue. Spy: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi You: my steam's broken and I need to talk to some equally stupid individuals You: do you fit the profile Stranger: sure thing You: okay You: put this top hat on You: and do a little dance Stranger: so your are playing counterstrike? Stranger: running amok any time soon? You: put the hat on You: do a fucking dance You: right You: now Stranger: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR You: PUT THE HAT ON You: DO You: THE You: FUCKING You: DANCE Stranger: you are a nigger? You: PUT You: THE You: HAT You: ON You: DO You: THE You: MOTH You: ER You: FUCK You: ING You: DANCE Your conversational partner has disconnected. Dan: LOL?
Caleb: Stranger: hey
You: hi Stranger: how are you today? You: I'm Swedish Batman, who are you? You: i'm good You: i mean, i'm Swedish Batman, of course i'm good! You: The question is...are you good? You: Because i'm making a list You: I'm checking it twice Stranger: oh Stranger: ok Stranger: got it You: I'm gonna find out who's naughty or nice Stranger: night? You: SWEDISH BATMAN'S GONNA EFF YOU UP (it's funnier if you sing the final line as part of the tune too) Caleb: Someone needs to start a bash.org like site for these things
You: stop it! You: stop using up the internet! Stranger: ? Stranger: okay Stranger: hahaha You: it's a precious, non renewable resource! Stranger: u should too You: once it's gone, we can never get it back! You: oh shit you're right Stranger: i kno You: uh oh You: i've been using up the internet too! Stranger: thats y i dont spend a lot of water Stranger: so i can use internet You: what if the internet police find me? Stranger: with no remorse You: oh good tradeoff Stranger: yup You: hmm Stranger: u better hide You: i'll have to find something to give up in exchange for internet You: oooh, i know! I'll give up my social life! Stranger: maybe im a internet cop You: 2 birds, one stone You: hides me from the cops, and it lets me use the internet without remorse You: oh shit You: are you? Stranger: well, i wont tell u if im duh You: haha well i'm Internet Batman! *INTERNET BATARANG TO THE HEAD* Stranger: hahahahaha You: *sneakily dissapears* You have disconnected. Caleb: The more i sit here on Omegle, the more disturbing i find myself becoming. Seriously. Sorry if any of you ended up opposite of me on it.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: ello You: want to swap tartar sauce? Stranger: no, quite like mine Stranger: thanks tho You: ok, that's cool You: .... You: so.... Stranger: what a strange question Stranger: so You: well, it IS the internet Stranger: true. and anonymous You: yup Stranger: you can say whatever the hell you want on here You: i could say anything You: i could even say... Stranger: you could You: poop You: (see, i said it) Stranger: shit thats what I was gonna say You: oh shit You: sorry for stealing your thoughts Stranger: where are you shitting from today/ Stranger: thats ok You: the....aaaaannnuuusss You: no, actually You: i got shanked yesterday Stranger: where in relation to nz is that? You: in the colon Stranger: thats rough You: so all the feces is coming out that hole Your conversational partner has disconnected. Mechanolatry: Here are a few of mine:
Stranger: hey You: i made pancakes! Stranger: sick, love pancakes You: WOW You: are you a psychic? Stranger: def You: cause i just totally got sick all over the keyboard. Your conversational partner has disconnected. Mechanolatry: Stranger: So I walk in to this bar.
You: i am the stranger! You: killing an arab! Stranger: OH! Stranger: How? Your conversational partner has disconnected. Mechanolatry: My first:
Stranger: hi ! You: my fingers smell like butt. You: do you like cookies? Stranger: I love cookies You: i dont... but i do love me some bile! You: mmm Stranger: what bilis ? You: bile You: vomit You: yums yums in my tum tums You: do you like puppies? Stranger: hum,where are you from ? You: they taste good too. You: im from Canadia!!!! Stranger: i like puppies Stranger: very nice Stranger: how old are you ? You: cats arent any good though.. too much fur and then there is no meat on them! You: old enough to pee by myself You: (when no ones looking) You: but sometimes they dont let me out of the room You: and i have to pee on myself You: that sux You: unless i can vomit too!!!! You: then i am happy!! Stranger: i'm happy too You: good!!! Stranger: i'm very happy You: what makes you so happy? You: do you stab things? You: why are there all these bugs crawling on me? You: WHYYYY You: what did i do to them? You: nothing! You: but they come in my house as if they own the place You: even neighbours dont do that!! You: but those bugs... Stranger: I understand you. You: i dont. You: will you marry me? You: i have to ask the doctor first, but I'm sure it is good for me!!! Stranger: do not know, I think You: you.. You: you are hesitating??? You: YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE?? You: I HATE YOU You: YOU JUST WAIT TIL I FIND YOU You: I WILL KILL YOU ALLLLLLLL Stranger: why you have to ask the doctor ? You: STAB!! STAB!! STAB!!! You: STAB!! STAB!! STAB!!! You: STAB!! STAB!! STAB!!! You: why do you care?? you said you hate me! You: i'm going to scoop out your eyes with my spoon! You: i dont care if its plastic, i can make it work. You: i have the skills. I got my learn on in jail. Stranger: are you crazy ? You: .... You: what are you insinuating here? You: are you trying to tell me something in a secret code? Stranger: no, You: yes You: (i understood the comma) You: !!! You: Was I RIGHT???? Your conversational partner has disconnected. Weird Fish: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi You: FIRST Stranger: YO DAWG ^_________^~ Stranger: SECOND You: D: You: im a cat You: not a dawg Stranger: kitty kat?!? Stranger: I LOVE KIT-KATS YOU KNOW Stranger: long chocolate bar ohmygod You: dude i had a mini kit kat chunky on a flight from france to england earlier today You: it was the most delicious oxymoron ever Stranger: oxycotton would be good right now Stranger: thanks for reminding me Stranger: TIME TO GO GET HIGH Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: Brilliant!
Yesterday I talked about novels with a guy in France (and the same day got a book by one of his favorite writers from the library), beer with a guy from Brasil (and the next day bought a beer I'd never tried before because he'd recommended it--embarrassing for me since it's brewed in Canada where I live. It was delicious.) and talked custom classic car parts with a guy in California. I'm a 38 year old mom of two. Rarrrrgh: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: what up dawg? Stranger: not much bruthaaaa You: what? You: that is incredibly racist You: you disgust me Your conversational partner has disconnected. Rarrrrgh: Another:
Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: what up dawg? Stranger: 80% of the people here disconnect when i tell them were i live... You: where do you live? Stranger: germany You have disconnected. Anonymous: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: hi Stranger: hi You: my last convo was with a 16 yr olf finnish girl You: can u beat that? Stranger: im 14 yr girl from finland Stranger: =) You: lol? Stranger: you Stranger: ? You: are you actually serious? Stranger: yess ! You: why so many finnish people... Stranger: i can speak finnish Stranger: just 2? You: yeah but do u livein finland Stranger: yes You: you do skiing? Stranger: =D Stranger: no You: why not? You: i would if i was finnish! Stranger: :D:D You: im 17 and from london Stranger: yeah. but every finnish is'nt the same way You: im called ********* You: your name? Stranger: Milla You: haha Stranger: :( You: she was called emilia! Stranger: dont laugh You: you have the same name! Stranger: emilia is a pretty name Stranger: emilia and milla is'nt the same You: milla = emilia! Stranger: lool Stranger: :D:D You: all finnish people ARE the same =) Stranger: do you like to live in the rain land? Connection imploded I think it was for the best :P Bobsy: I think key to Omegle has to be anonymity. I'm not actively fighting against personal information, in order to try and build up a small relationship based entirely on its absence.
Rarrrrgh: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: Bored? Of course you are, you're on omegle. Try http://rrowland.mybr... ...ute.com/ - A fun new game. Your conversational partner has disconnected Anyone wanna try that link for me? im a bit scared.. MartinJ: It's some sort of a game where your character is generated by your name and then you just watch automatic fights and... I didn't really understand it, but it's nothing explicit or whatever.
Ush: I couldn't resist...
Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Let's join a social network built just for two Stranger: whats a hiptaneuse You: you invite me and I'll invite you Stranger: how? You: We could lie about our ages Stranger: ok Stranger: im 3 You: and customize our pages Stranger: cool You: with falling words that say Stranger: go on You: i love you Your conversational partner has disconnected. Spy: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hi You: GOT A LOT OF GOOD THINGS ON SALE, STRANGER. Stranger: Well Stranger: Will you take this bejeweled goblet? You: I'LL BUY IT AT A HIGH PRICE Stranger: Okay here, take it. You: EH EH EH You: THANKS, STRANGER Stranger: Now..I'll take that Combat Shotgun You: EH EH EH You: THANK YOU You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN Stranger: Okay..Now, just give me a minute. You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN Stranger: I've got to play fucking Tetris with this briefcase Stranger: Alright, I'll just move the ammo here...the stupid quest items here Stranger: Okay, the shotgun goes there. Now, I'll buy the RPG You: for god's sake I've got a living to make in this zombie infested spanish town You: EH EH EH You: THANKS, STRANGER Stranger: Jesus if you ain't a pushy fucking salesman Stranger: I don't see a line behind me You: COME BACK ANY TIME You have disconnected. Spy: Part 2:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hii You: GOT A LOT OF GOOD THINGS ON SALE, STRANGER You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN Stranger: nada You: fuck you then You: fucking spaniard fucker Stranger: oh lol Stranger: hahaha You: I thought you were cool You: like that blonde guy You: he buys my shit You: he sells shit to me You: but people like you You: grrr You: you just sit around and take us random shady salesmen who can get around without problem for granted You: WELL FUCK YOU You: MAYBE I WANT TO You: FIGHT THE FINAL BOSS You: WITH THE FUCKING RPG You: AND THE SHOTGUN You: HOW ABOUT THAT, BITCH? You: HOW You: ABOUT You: THAT!? Stranger: lol matter of fact, i do have something to sell to you You: What're ya sellin? Stranger: prozac. Your conversational partner has disconnected. Weird Fish: You: OH JESUS MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE
You: FUCK You: FUCK Stranger: call 999 You: AGHAG You: SHIT You: CACLAL You: FASDG You have disconnected. Sam: lol spy I think you got owned both times.
Spy: More so on the second.
;_; Spy: um
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Fire primary torpedoes! Stranger: XD Stranger: GD? You: Quiet, Lieutenant! You: Fire secondary torpedoes! Stranger: ebaumsworld? o-o Stranger: 4chan? You: "Cap'n, our hull's breached!" You: What are you talking about Lieutenant? Stranger: oh god i love you XD You: Damnit! Johnson, fire tertiary torpedoes, adamson, adjust depth! You: Set heading to 370 You: "Cap'n, we're taking on water!" Stranger: ima name you jeff You: Full speed ahead! Stranger: ok Stranger: ilu jeff ;D You: We're going down with this submarine, Lieutenant. You: We might as well ram those damned Soviets first! Stranger: ima tell all my friends about you jeff You: QUIET LIEUTENANT You: THIS IS A SOMBRE MOMENT Stranger: but ilu D; You: "We're out of torpedoes, Cap'n!" You: Damned! Stranger: oh noes wut are we gonna do jeff Dx You: "Their ship is dropping depth charges!" You: Ram their hull! Stranger: this sounds like gay butt secks XD Stranger: ilu jeff You: LIEUTENANT WE ALL JOINED THE NAVY FOR THAT BUT IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN You: NOW ADJUST DEPTH WE'RE GOING IN FOR THE KILL Stranger: XD You: Hold on tight! You: *BASHOOOOOOMF* You: Damned! Stranger: jeff ilu! You: That is one strong battleship! You: Our only hope now is to You: FIRE THE SECRET ALIEN LASER BEAM Stranger: o: You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Stranger: but jeff that could kill us all You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Stranger: jeff stfu You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Stranger: stupid ass gder You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You have disconnected. I'm trying to be serious and take down the soviet Battleship and this guy is just saying ilu jeff What a shitty lieutenant H: I only had one that made me chuckle, and it's not even that good.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Hi! Stranger: Hello! You: Do you still live at the same address? Your conversational partner has disconnected. Jason L: OK, that one's actually funny.
Seth: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: is this a secure connection ?! Stranger: they're looking for me. Stranger: the F B I You: We've got you now! Stranger: FUCK You: Fell right into our honeytrap You: Now confess You: The building is surrounded Stranger: no way Stranger: i know matrix tricks You: We're the government Stranger: i'm hacking into ur system right now You: We have better technology than you can even dream of You: Just give up now and you won't be killed Stranger: if i give up Stranger: what will happen to me You: We'll just have a little chat. That's all... You: We just want to talk to you alone Stranger: that sounds reasonable You: If you tell us about the others, then we may even let you go Stranger: HEY WAIT A MINUTE Stranger: YOU'RE BULLSHITTING ME Stranger: FUCK You: Why would I lie? You: We have the upper hand here. Stranger: BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING You: We have nothing to lose. You: You have everything to lose. Stranger: I KNOW ABOUT THE ALIENS Stranger: AREA 51 Stranger: THATS WHY YOU WANT ME ISNT IT? Stranger: hey listen now You: That information is sensitive.. Stranger: let's make a deal You: It wouldn't be good for the general public if they found out. You: People would panic Stranger: if i get to see real aliens i'll keep my mouth shut You: The United States government does not negotiate with terrorists. Officially... You: But You: You should know that we don't have any living specimens Stranger: yes you do Stranger: you are working with them You: The corpses are all we recovered from the crash Stranger: you're lying You: Thats not true. Stranger: i saw them You: I don't know what you think you saw, but the aliens are dead. Stranger: ha! You: All rumours of humans and aliens breeding are untrue. Stranger: listen to me now dude Stranger: i can be a test subject.. You: We have reverse-engineered alien biotechnology You: If you would be prepared to be a test subject then we will drop all charges against you. You: But I must warn you You: The procedure has never been attempted before You: There is a chance of... complications Stranger: what kind of complications? You: We don't know exactly, but our scientists believe that once the alien DNA has been implanted, you may lose all of your human memories and feelings. You: You would never be able to go back to your old life. Stranger: that's a risk i'm willing to take Stranger: look at my life now.. Stranger: i'm chased by the government Stranger: i'm lost all my loved ones.. Stranger: i've Stranger: my life... You: You have made a wise choice. Stranger: it's not even a fucking life.. Stranger: i accept the terms. You: Now, if the DNA fusion is successful, we will be sending you on a mission to infiltrate the alien society. Stranger: i need more details You: We learned a lot about them from the crashed spacecraft that we discovered, and we managed to locate their home planet. But we still don't know what their intentions are towards us. Stranger: you want me to spy on them? You: The spacecraft did contain some weaponary, but we don't know whether they were just trying to find out more information about Earth, or whether they are planning to invade. You: Yes. You will be undercover on the alien homeworld. Stranger: sounds extremely dangerous.. Stranger: but.. Stranger: ..i'll do it Stranger: whatever it takes for the mankind to survive You: The aliens have a hive mind. They can communicate telepathically with each other, and they share thoughts and feelings between them. This should make it easy to discover their intentions. You: But, this is also why we must remove all trace of humanity from you. As they can peer into your mind, if you have any human attachments remaining then they will discover you. Stranger: that would be devastating.. Stranger: how soon can we arrange a meeting? You: One of the machines that we recovered from the crashed spacecraft will allow us to download your human memories and personality for storage on a supercomputer. You: If the mission is successful and you are able to return home, then we may be able to return your memories to you. Stranger: i understand. You: One of our agents will be in contact with you in the next 48 hours. Stranger: i will be ready Stranger: ..hey Stranger: ..thanks You: No. Thank you. Stranger: ...it's an honor You: And... good luck. You: You're going to need it. Stranger: indeed... EGGS: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: KISSS MEEEEE You: KISS KISS SMOOOCH Stranger: LOVELOVE YAY You: ELOHVEEII You: Let's have a sexy party! Stranger: YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM You: OSNAP. Stranger: ok Stranger: ok You: I'ma have a panty raid You: At yer place. You: 'Kay? Stranger: ok Stranger: i like that You: Your panties are huge! FATTAAAAY True dat...: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Pants :) Your conversational partner has disconnected. Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Contact, western road. Fire at will! Stranger: no thanks You: Lieutenant Stranger, get a move on! You: Take your squads through the eastern buildings and flank them. You: We'll cover you, now MOVE! Stranger: they are already dead You: What!? Stranger: annihilated You: What... what have you done? Stranger: I killed them. You: Oh, good God... the butchery... You: You're an ANIMAL! Stranger: You are the only one left. You: It's just you and me now. You: One on one. You: Let's do this. Stranger: bring it. You: *Draws pistol* Stranger: *draws machine gun* You: Oh... crap. Stranger: MWHAHAHA You: *Shoots you in the face* Stranger: OH GAWD Stranger: The pain Stranger: THE PAIN You: A-HA! I knew your weakness, fool! Now taste defeat! Stranger: My eye...... *it rolls on the floor* You: *Shoots you in the crotch* Stranger: Ouch......... Stranger: You are too good for me You: I'm sorry Lieutenant. You: We had a good run, you and I... You: But it had to be done. Stranger: fair enough You: Great last words! Stranger: I deserved what was coming to me You: *Finished you off* Stranger: Don't make the same mistakes I did. You: Umm... I can't think of anything else to say lol xD Stranger: Haha! :D You: Good talk dude lol You: See ya around Stranger: Thanks! :D Stranger: Yep Your conversational partner has disconnected. Jives: Stranger: fuck americans
Stranger: im an aus You: I'm a UK Stranger: cool cool Stranger: yeah man america pisses me off Stranger: there gonna get owned soon You: um You: They don't bother me too much Stranger: they bother me Stranger: IM RAGEEEED Stranger: j/k I lied im an american Stranger: so easy to lie about anything on here Stranger: I could have said im a 17 year old japanese girl Stranger: you probably would have believed me Stranger: fuuuccckk Stranger: your not talking Stranger: and I need to take a shit Stranger: so peace bro Your conversational partner has disconnected. SayWhat: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hey, there. You: I like your hair. You: Who does your hair? You: I'd like to go there Stranger: Jesus christ You: Don't use the Lord's name in vain! Stranger: Too late Stranger: ass You: hole Stranger: bitch Stranger: face Stranger: nugget You: chicken You: crackers Stranger: pieces You: bitch-ass-ness Stranger: buttsecks You: Oral. Betch. Stranger: Im actually from china so You: Woah You: I'm talking to a chink? Stranger: WOLOLOLOLOLO Tung jing tits Stranger: your talking to a shark nigger You: FISH ARE FRIENDS NOT FOOD. Stranger: fish are food not friends Stranger: get it right Stranger: ass You: Well, you're the racist shark You: I don't believe you have a say in this Stranger: so why havent we had sex yet You: And my donkey is sexier than yours 'kay? You: Because Stranger: thats not a reason You: I'm too sexy for this shirt Stranger: ass You: Hole. Stranger: im too sexy for my life You: No shark is sexy You: Niggaroach Stranger: Dick goes here You: And vagina goes there Stranger: BLENDER You: OSNAP Stranger: WOLOLOLOLOLO You: I'll be the missionary You: You be the lieutenant You: Let's get jiggy with it! Stranger: ill be the caption of secks You: Caption? As in under? You: Cool. I'm on top. You: SUCKER Stranger: yeah, caption, bot captain You: I still get the top, right? Stranger: Well i have banana as penis you see You: And my vagina is microwaved mango You: We get along great! Stranger: HOLY FUCK A MUDKIP Stranger: brb i gota catch em all You: DO U LIEK MUDKIPZ? You: Aw. Fine, be that way! I demand a divorce! Stranger: i haz 51 of zem You have disconnected. Thordain: While I didn't really play around with Omeggle, the link in my name includes a forum topic full of good conversations.
Anonymous: ....
SlappyBag: Simple but effective:
You: Hai2u Stranger: hi You: So are you an evil stranger or a nice stranger? Stranger: nice Your conversational partner has disconnected. SlappyBag: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: cyber? ;] You: Oh yeah! You: I put on my robe and wizard hat Your conversational partner has disconnected. Angela: Stranger: but i must go now cause my girlfriend wants to have sex now
Stranger: sorry You: hahahaha. DiscountNinja: SlappyBag - that was so funny :D I mean, that had me stitches for ages :D
Jason L: Indeed, well done sir. L(iteral)LOL.
Preedy: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: why hello Stranger: why not hi ? You: im rather posh You: hate to admit it Stranger: well nice to meet you You: im from england Stranger: : D Stranger: cool You: you are from? Stranger: im from finland You: brilliant Stranger: it is ? You: my mother knows your leader Stranger: Tarja Halonen ? You: see im at buckingham palace Stranger: nicee Stranger: im at home : < You: they met a few months ago You: oh i am at home You: i live at the palace Stranger: i know :) You: im william Stranger: but i have a normal home :D You: oh right You: a humble abode Stranger: nice to meet you william :D You: thank you Stranger: i think harry is more good looking tho You: i get tat all the time You: that* Stranger: : D but youre fine too You: why thanks You: someone from eton sent me this site You: quite a laugh Stranger: : D Stranger: im here all the time You: already spoke to a charming man from alabama You: well You: could of been a woman You: you never know ith these sites Stranger: :D You: with* Stranger: thats the fun thing You: oh yes You: excuse my miss typing Stranger: : D ah thets okay You: not used to this keyboard see You: new Stranger: :D oookay You: have you been to england You: ? Stranger: nope, but i'll move to london some day You: maybee we can meet up Stranger: meybe : D Stranger: whats your name? You: be a huge violation a internet safety mind Stranger: it would You: william You: title:prince Stranger: no, youre whole name? You: call me will though You: William Arthur Philip Louis You: sorry Stranger: ooh Stranger: wikipedia is my friend too You: mother was asking me if i wanted tea Stranger: yeahh Stranger: youre mother is dead You: why ive never been so insulted You: ah fuck You: i meant grandma You: balls Stranger: : D sorry to tell you You: hello You: i am from england though You: just not a royal He ratted me out at the end ¬¬ Killa-Ewok: I have taken up a habit to copy the speech from I Am Legend to omegle, to see the reactions.
I haven't saved any of the conversations, but I am asking if any of you have fallen for my TRAP. Octaeder: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: Sarah? Stranger: no this is david You: Damn - I'm trying to find Sarah Stranger: david davidsen Stranger: nice to meet you! You: I've got something important to tell her but I've lost her file Stranger: oh Stranger: this sounds interesting Stranger: tell me more Stranger: =) You: It's imperitive I speak to her - without treatment she may not last long Stranger: well You: All I can remember is she uses this damn service Stranger: it happens to be that i'm a DOCTOR Stranger: WHAT IS HER SITUATION! You: As a doctor, you must well know that I can't divulge information about my clients Stranger: i'm a doctor with a gun Stranger: and i need this information You: That... that strikes me as an odd gimmick for a doctor? You: Does that really draw in the visits? Stranger: new standard issues You: I must have missed the Department of Health's briefing Stranger: damn i'm way to baked to do this shit Stranger: you just lost the game You: In that case I will continue my search for poor Sarah Stranger: okay Caleb: Dear random stranger who works in IT in the Netherlands. Forgot to mention...this is me here!
Caleb: Apparently Navi is also in Pulp Fiction
Stranger: hey You: hey! You: listen! You: hey! Stranger: what You: hey! You: listen! You: hey! Stranger: what? You: listen! You: hey! Stranger: WHAT? You: SAY WHAT AGAIN MOTHERF**KER Your conversational partner has disconnected. VAKinc: Stranger: sex
Stranger: drugs Stranger: rock n roll Stranger: motorcycles You: ... Stranger: cash money You: ... You: I don't care what your gender is. I need to marry you. You: Now. VAKinc: You: Rise and Shine, Mr. Freeman.
Stranger: ms.freeman thx You: osh- WHAT?! You: Ask me any three questions. Stranger: hola (Moment of realization that we had just talked to eachother) You: ... Stranger: ... Stranger: THE GAME You: ... You: YOU BASTARD You: NOOOOOOO You: I JUST LOST THE GAME. Stranger: not this shit again Calaros: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: say somthing better then hi You: O hai You: There :D Stranger: fanxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:O) You: O.o You: /¯/___________________________ _ | SHOOP DA WHOOP! BLAAAAAAA! \_\¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯ Stranger: :)* D: Stranger: LMFAO WTFF You: IMA CHARGIN MA LAZAR Stranger: R U FRM HABBO?! You: Eep. No. Stranger: oh Stranger: soz You: Why do you ask? :p Stranger: where r u frm You: The murky depths of the internet... Stranger: idk u sound lyk that type Stranger: LOLOOL You: You weren't there man. YOU WEREN'T THERE Stranger: LMFAOOOOOO Stranger: wot the f You: Anyway yeah, hi! I'm Clon :D Stranger: (: im lori You: Lori? Never met anybody with that name! Where you from? Stranger: lol, new zealand, youu? You: Scotland Stranger: haha woah You: And if you shout freedom, I'll kill you :P Stranger: lmfao You: MUDKIPS FUCK YEAH You have disconnected. Psycho-Monkey: I like this one because by Question 6, I believe the person gets confused. I don't know whether to take is answer seriously or if he understood the joke.
Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: Greetings (Insert Subject Name Here)! You: You have been chosen to participate in our weekly Surveys. You: Our Surveys are made to accurately record public opinion and suggestions to make your experience here at Omegle the most enjoyable. You: Do you wish to partake (Insert Subject Name Here)? Please say in all capitals "YES" to participate in the Survey or "NO" to skip. Stranger: YES You: (Insert Subject Name Here) has said "YES" to Survey. Please prepare for the Survey. You: As a side-note, please answer all questions accurately and truthfully to get the most enjoyable experience later here on Omegle. You: Question Number 1: Stranger: okay You: Please explain your experience here on Omegle. You: After answering the question please say in all capitals "FINISHED." Thank you. Stranger: it's fun talking to strangers. i enjoy it, except for the fact that there are so many chinese people. FINISHED You: Once again, we ask you to please answer all questions accurately and truthfully to get the most enjoyable experience later here on Omegle. You: Question Number 2: You: In the time you have been here on Omegle, how many times have you been asked you were a Female? You: Once again, after answering the question please say in all capitals "FINISHED." Thank you. Stranger: none, honestly. FINISHED You: Question Number 3: You: Of those times the "Stranger" asked for your gender, where they also interested in age? Stranger: probably half the time. FINISHED You: Question Number 4: You: Please give us your opinion on what these "Strangers" are looking for. Stranger: just someone to talk to, like me. maybe they're just lonely and bored. i think it's all in good fun. FINISHED You: Question Number 5: You: If given the option to report a "Stranger" for offensive behavior, would you use said option? Stranger: no, it's pointless. just press "disconnect" and get over it, that's what the button is there for. haha. FINISHED You: Question Number 6: You: Are you aware that the Cake is a Lie? Stranger: NO WAY Stranger: fuck Stranger: but it's so believable ;_; You: Once again, after answering the question please say in all capitals "FINISHED." Thank you. Stranger: no way. FINISHED You: Question Number 7: You: What is your opinion on the Demoman class? Stranger: what the fuck? FINISHED You: Question Number 8: You: What is your most enjoyable experience here on Omegle? Stranger: talking to horny 12 year old girls. FINISHED You: Question Number 9: You: What is your lest enjoyable experience here on Omegle Stranger: talking to fat nerds. FINISHED You: Final Question: You: If you could rate your experiences here on Omegle, what would you rate them on a scale of 1 - 10 (1 being the lowest, 10 being the highest) Stranger: 10 FINISHED You: Thank you participating in this Survey, we are glad for your responses and look forward to making your experience here at Omegle and enjoyable one. Ledundead: One experience of mine:
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: I appear to have burst into flames. Stranger: cool You: No, hot. You: Very hot. Your conversational partner has disconnected. Snofeld: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: i love you You: i know Stranger: really? You: i've always known Stranger: aww Stranger: do you love me? You: i'm sorry but... we cannot be together You: we're from two different worlds Stranger: but but.. Stranger: we can do this Stranger: i know we can You: i'm so sorry You: but i have to get on that train Stranger: no! Stranger: dont get on that train! Stranger: if you get on that train youre going to regret this Stranger: youre going to think of me every day Stranger: every night Stranger: you wont be able to sleep Stranger: to eat Stranger: you'll always wonder Stranger: and i'll always wonder Stranger: even if there's 3,000 miles between us Stranger: how could do that to me, to you, to US You: i know... but there is no other way Stranger: yes there is Stranger: who cares about what you think is right, do what's in your heart You: i'm no good...i'm a crook, spoiled goods...and i don't wanna drag you into my world You: at least this way you'll be safe... You: goodbye... Stranger: i don't want to be safe You: we'll always have paris... Stranger: i just want to be with you Stranger: NOOOOOOO You have disconnected. You: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: wanne camsex? You: i came Stranger: come again You: i came Stranger: come again You: i came Stranger: go die You: i came Your conversational partner has disconnected. Killa-Ewok: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: EVERYONE! You: I AM ON FIRE! Stranger: SUCK MY DICK You: I You: AM You: ON You: FIREEEEE! Stranger: i'm too Stranger: so suck Stranger: my Stranger: dick Stranger: ecolregul@hotmail.com You: Hello! My name is and I am here to ask you, some questions! Is that OK with you, my dear Stranger: you're a fucking crazy man You: Thank you for saying yes! You: First question: You: Why is the sky blue? Stranger: because i piss on it Stranger: and my piss is blue Stranger: because i eat pussies Stranger: and pussie is blue You: Thank you for answering correctly! According to our registers, your answer was "I am a huge faggot without a sense of humour". You: Second question: You: Why are you a huge faggot without a sense of humour? Stranger: because I'm not happy in my life You: Thank you for answering correctly! According to our registers, your answer was "Because I enjoy Picasso's works!" You: Third and final question: You: Is the cake a lie? Stranger: no You: I am afraid that is incorrect! According to our registers, your answer was "Why yes it is!" You: Please take a second guess! Stranger: you're crazy Your conversational partner has disconnected. Jazmeister: I say, that one was quite good. You win at the strange drop-in duel of wits that is omegle.
Ninja: I got a fairly long, fun text based adventure game with someone. It was really really fun. It started out with a library and it was actually the 5th chat that I started that I didn't get disconnected instantly on.
https://dl.getdropbox.com/u/9902/filedrop/textbasedadvent.html You might like it, who knows. I had a fun time playing. Killa-Ewok: @Jazmeister
Thank you. And in case that wasn't meant for me... AWKWARD SILENCE. innovations101: i think we had a real connection here :)
Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: ?????? Stranger: ??? ????? You: hallo? You: sprichst du deutsch? Stranger: ??????? You: was fürne sprache ist das denn??? Stranger: ? ?? ???????, ??????????? Stranger: ??????? ??-?????? You: achsooooo das ist ja gut You: und wie gehts dir so? Stranger: ????? You: echt?? aww du arme Your conversational partner has disconnected. Caleb: Stranger: HI
Stranger: ASL? You: WOW CAPS LOCK Stranger: LOL I KNO RITE?? Stranger: YOU LIKE CAPS LOK? You: OH HECK YES You: I LUV THE CAPS LOCK TO DEATH Stranger: FINALLY, A KINDRED SPIRIT You: WE'RE GETTING MARRIED ON TUESDAY Stranger: WE CAN BOTH DO CAPS LOCK 2GETHER You: OOH KINKY Stranger: YES, WE SHALL HAVE OUR HONEYMOON IN ESTONIA You: O RLY? Stranger: YES RLY You: EXCELLENT You: GOOD MADAM OR SIR, I APPROVE Stranger: FANTASTIC :) Stranger: SHALL I MEET YOU IN VEGAS THEN? You: MOST CERTAINLY You: I WILL BRING MY BEST FRIEND You: HER NAME IS PUNCTUATION You: UNFORTUNATLEY You: SHE SPEAKS WITH AN ACCENT You: THAT SOUNDS LIKE Stranger: I SHALL BRING MY ELEVEN PET GOATS AND THEIR TIBETAN KEEPER You: :;;'..,;;'/%@ You: THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL Stranger: MY GOATS SHALL BE MY GIFT TO YOU Stranger: ON THIS WONDERFUL OCCASION You: THANK YOU You: IT SHALL BE A FINE DOWRY You: MY GIFT TO YOU SHALL BE A GOURD OF WATER FROM THE FOUNTAIN OF AWESOME You: AND IT WILL BE AWESOME Stranger: IT SHALL BE FANTASMIGORICAL Stranger: IT SHALL BE SUPERMERGATROID You: IT SHALL BE...SIGNIFICANT Stranger: BUT! You: OH NOES You: A BUT Stranger: STRANGER OF OMEGLE You: INDEED? Stranger: I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU.... You: UH OH You: DONT LEAVE ME HANGING You: PLEASE You: I BESEECH YE You: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU HAVE TO SAY? Stranger: GRAVITATIONAL MASS IS IDENTICAL TO INERTIAL MASS. THAT IS, THE AMOUNT OF INERTIA SOMETHING HAS AND THE AMOUNT OF GRAVITY IT HAS ARE EFFECTIVELY THE SAME. WHAT'S INTEREsTING IS THAT THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY REASON THIS SHOULD BE TRUE. You: UH OH You: A LOWER CASE S SNUCK IN THERE You: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Stranger: ONE COULD IMAGINE AN EXTREMELY LARGE OBJECT WITH LOTS OF RESISTANCE TO FORCE AND NO GRAVITY (OR VICE VERCA) BUT THIS IS NEVER OBSERVED Stranger: OK OK OK Stranger: YOU KNOW WHAT Stranger: I'M GONNA SKIP THE REST OF THE BUILD UP AND SAY IT Stranger: YO MAMMA'S FAT. You: SAW IT COMING, BUT THANKS You: YO MAMMA'S SO FAT THAT IF SHE DOESN'T IMPROVE HER DIET AND EXERCISE REGIMEN, SHE WILL BE AT SERIOUS RISK OF HAVING HEART DISEASE Stranger: OH!!! Stranger: I SEE HOW IT IS! You: YO MAMMA'S SO FAT THAT HER GRAVITATIONAL ATTRACTION GOES UP BY THE CUBE OF HER MASS Stranger: WELL YOUR MAMMA'S SO FAT, THAT IF HER ENTIRE MASS WAS REPLACED WITH URANIUM 235, AND THEN EACH INDIVIDUAL ATOM HIT WITH A SLOW-MOVING NEUTRON, IN ADDITION TO THE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF NEWLY-FORMED ELEMENTS AND FREE NEUTRONS, AN AMOUNT OF ENERGY EQUAL TO AROUND 2.6x10^58 KILOWATT-HOURS WOULD BE BE RELEASED IN AN UNCONTROLLED EXPLOSION You: HAHAHAHAHAHHA You: AWESOME Stranger: I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) You: I'M SORRY You: OUR LOVE CAN NEVER BE You: BECAUSE I STILL LOVE CAPS LOCK You: I'M SORRY Stranger: *is crying* You: I'M SORRY You: IF I TELL YOU A JOKE WILL YOU FEEL BETTER? You: HOW ABOUT THIS ONE You: YO MAMMA'S SO FAT THAT IT WOULD REQUIRE TWO LARGE INTEGER VARIABLES TO STORE HER WEIGHT, OR SHE'D CAUSE A BUFFER TO OVERFLOW You: (SORRY, I JUST REALLY WANTED TO USE THAT ONE) Stranger: OH! Stranger: WELL YOUR MAMMA'S SO STUPID SHE DESIGNED AN EXPERIMENT UTILIZING QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT IN AN ATTEMPT TO UNDERMINE THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE You: YEAH? You: WELL You: YO MAMMA'S SUCH A SLUT THAT EVEN THE NOBLE GASSES HAVE ATTACHED THEMSELVES TO HER! Stranger: OOOOH Stranger: Yeah Stranger: well Stranger: YOUR MUM IS SO DUMB THAT SHE TRIED TO MINIMIZE A 12 VARIABLE FUNCTION TO A MINIMAL SUM OF PRODUCTS EXPRESSION USING A KARNAUGH MAP INSTEAD OF THE QUINE-McCLUSKEY ALGORITHM You: HEH You: YOUR MOM IS SO UGLY THAT HER UGLINESS INTENSITY IS EQUAL TO 10^5 UNITS OF UGLY AT A DISTANCE OF ONE METER WHILE THE THRESHOLD FOR UGLINESS IN THE AVERAGE HUMAN IS 10^-12 UGLIES/M^2 Stranger: OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stranger: SNAP You: INDEEDILY GOOD SIR OR MADAM You: AND NOW You: I MUST BID YOU ADIEU You: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME! You: NOW GOODBYE FOREVER! Stranger: GOODB BYE FOREVER STRANGER OF OMEGLE Stranger: *BOWS* Stranger: YOU WERE A WORTHY OPPONENT You: YOU AS WELL You: *TIPS HAT*
Caleb: Why thank you!
em2: Apologies for length. Worth it for the end.
Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: yo You: Zimprov Ver. 0.001a You are in a ROOM. It is fairly dark. Stranger: the game You: ? Stranger: turn on liget Stranger: turn on light You: The light's go on. Your ROOM is a mess. Stranger: search room You: Your ROOM is a cramped apartment, but you apparently have a pretty cool collection of movie posters from the 80s. Stranger: check pockets You: There is a DESK, a LAMP (which is now on) and a hall to the KITCHEN. You: Your pockets have nothing but lint. Stranger: clean room You: You hastily go through your room, moving papers and books aside. You find a pair of KEYS. Stranger: pick up keys You: You place the keys in your pocket. Stranger: go to kitchen You: You start towards the KITCHEN. You: LOADING NEW ROOM... You: *PLEASE WAIT* You: You are in the KITCHEN. Gee, it's dark. Stranger: turn on kitchen light You: The light's go on. You can see your KITCHEN in all it's KITCHEN-esque glory. You: There is a FRIDGE, a STOVE, and a SINK. Stranger: search fridge You: Wow, when was the last time you went shopping. You're FRIDGE is nearly empty. There is only a bottle of SODA , some CHIPS, a MYSTERY FOIL-WRAPPED OBJECT. Stranger: unwrap foil sraped object You: The object starts to glow... You: GASP! The room is on fire! Stranger: scan object You: The OBJECT is blindingly white hot. The KITCHEN continues to burn. Stranger: Put object in pocket You: ZOUNDS! The object burns right through you're hand. You: The floor has now caught aflame. Stranger: run to front door You: Exiting the KITCHEN as fast as possibile. You: LOADING NEW ROOM, PLEASE WAIT. Stranger: Waiting You: LOADING NEW ROOM, PLEASE WAIT. You: You are back in your ROOM. Whew! You: You can still hear the flames in the KITCHEN. Stranger: look for fire extinguisher You: You search valiantly for a fire extinguisher. Can it be behind that vintage DUNE poster? No! There it is, next to you're mounted ALF collectable plate, Stranger: use fire extinguisher on fire You: You run back to the KITCHEN, and splurt the fire extingusiher everywhere. WOOSH! There goes that floor. Stranger: run back to room You: You race back to your ROOM. You: You hear the soft dripping sounds of fire dampening foam as it drips down your KITCHEN walls. Stranger: go on computer You: You look through your room, and find a sideways Apple IIc. You really do have an 80s fetish don't you... Stranger: log onto computer You: Unfortunately, the computer is not only sideways, but also half taken apart. You never did get around to repairing it, did you? Stranger: look for working computer in house You: You search in vain through your home for a working computer, let alone something made after 1988. No luck on either count. However, you do notice that your front door appears unlocked... Stranger: go through front door You: You exit your house. You: LOADING... You: You are OUTSIDE. It is either dusk or dawn, hard to tell. You can't see too much else. Stranger: take off clothes You: You strip nude. Gee, it's chilly. Stranger: Look for other people You: You walk out further, stumbling slightly in the darkness. There appears to be a path up ahead, but you can't really make it out. Stranger: Walk down path You: You walk out on to the path. The rocky surface cuts at your bare feet. You: You hear a faint roaring sound. You: It seems like the sound is getting closer. You: You see a faint light(s)... You: WOOSH! You: You have been hit by a car. Stranger: Roll for evade! You: Non game comment : ROLF You: You have DIED. Your score: 88/100 You: A+ for stamina and effort. You:Thanks for trying Zimprov. Mind you, this is like a beta of a beta. Any and all feedback welcome. Stranger: Needs little girls to molest You: We will take this into consideration. em2: One more. I swear that's it.
Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Is there hope Stranger: i hope so You: I see what you did there. Stranger: it's the truth You: That's what you tell them? Stranger: i live in the truth You: Keats coming up? Stranger: i don't listen to indie bands Your conversational partner has disconnected. Jimbob: One of my fave conversations that had me in stitches for some reason:
You: I am the stranger Stranger: i am too. You: we all are Stranger: where do you come from, stranger? You: The Sea Of Tranquility Stranger: ooookay. Your conversational partner has disconnected. Herpers: Yay trolling: Note that I am male :P
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: Hello Stranger: hola Stranger: m spanish Stranger: u??? Stranger: somalian/??? You: Australian :P Stranger: ello Stranger: where Stranger: r Stranger: u??? You: Australia... Stranger: u liv in sydney Stranger: cozz You: No. Stranger: i got a home there Stranger: i go there during mi vaccation You: Lucky you. Stranger: thnxxx Stranger: u wanna be lucky??? Stranger: cozz You: Everyone could use some luck. Stranger: i can make u one.... You: One what? Stranger: u just hav to do a thing Stranger: u ready to do it??? You: sure. Stranger: u get millionar at a night Stranger: u just hav to Stranger: marr y Stranger: me Stranger: so whats ur thought??? You: Well, do you have a big cock? Stranger: why??? Stranger: u fond of big cock You: Yeah. Stranger: only if u ready to suck it You: Only if it's big. Stranger: yup Stranger: ok then whats ur email id?????? You: One more question. You: Is gay marraige allowed where you are? Stranger: ohhh..........shit Stranger: shot Stranger: shit Stranger: all the way i was taking was ta a shit Ashling: Hehe, I love Omegle. Here's some "games" to play on it:
-Type in a really dirty question and see how many times you get disconnected before you get an answer. If they do answer, act offended and see if they disconnect. -Type in a quote or fact, again see how many times you're disconnected before you get an answer. -Type, "hurro". You'll be shcoked how many people don't know what that means. -Start typing song lyrics, e.g you: JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL you: LIVING IN A LONELY WORLD And see if they start to continue the song. Or disconnect. -Type, "tell me a secret". I am yet to read someone's real secret, though. =] soreye: I keep saying I'm 'The Doctor' from the hit BBC tv series Doctor Who, but its only worked once.... :)
Thijs: Stranger: do what your mother tells you
Stranger: hi You: My mother tells me to smoke weed =( Stranger: smoke it You: done You: it's all gone now Stranger: gj Stranger: get more You: Can't Stranger: go You: I ate it all Stranger: get Stranger: u wat You: your mum? Stranger: my You: yes Stranger: wat You: she ate my weed Stranger: you said you ate it Stranger: mummy? You: No I did not! Stranger: yes You: Maybe Stranger: Stranger: I ate it all You: See You: Stranger You: that's you Stranger: thats you You: I'm ' you ' Stranger: nooooooooooo Stranger: You: I ate it all You: I want your mum to make me a fresh joint now. You: We ate it together You: She ate most though Stranger: i'm thinking of going gay You: Going gay pwns cocks Stranger: only guys want to have sex with me You: And you're male? You: Well Stranger: yeah You: That blows! *pun alert* You: anyway Stranger: hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Stranger: yeah You: I missed the bridge from 'weed' to 'gay' You: I'll just make one up Stranger: k You: weed is heterosexual You: so You: now we can talk about your gayness Stranger: nice You: Sex? Stranger: what Stranger: m/f You: Did I say that out loud? Stranger: no Stranger: you typed it You: Good You: I said it too Stranger: oh Stranger: do you say everything you type Stranger: like in the movies You: Yes. You: Sometimes it is hard You: as Stranger: badass You: if I ram my head on my keyboard when frustrated You: it's pretty hard You: v bjioseoigqw=-o You: try say that 20x in row. Stranger: looks difficult Stranger: `the phones ringing Stranger: shit You: Taha You: Phones are for gays You: Real men use penguins Stranger: fucking telemarketers You: I prefer fucking stockbrokers. Caleb: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: *rings doorbell* You: *opens door in pyjamas* You: Hello Stranger: Hi Stranger: Are you interested in joining the Jehova Witnesses? Stranger: Here, have a leaflet You: Not particularly. I just ate. You: You're the cannibalism guys, right? Stranger: Alright, but we'll be back >_< Stranger: Yes Your conversational partner has disconnected. Dr. ROCKZO: Stranger: hi
You: who are you and what are you doing on my chat? You: are you a pedophile? My mum warned me about you guys.. Stranger: what? you crazy You: I DONT WANT YOUR CANDY You: STAY AWAY Mr Fun: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: why can't a cucumber sing You: because it's a fucking vegetable Stranger: a valid point, however ........ Stranger: why can't a cucumber sing? You: because there are too many people attempting to tell it irrelevent jokes and interrupting it's flow? Stranger: close but no cookie Stranger: why can't a cucumber sing? You: because it heard the grass-a-growin'? Your conversational partner has disconnected. Jim: haha I got one:
Stranger: lets do this You: what? Stranger: this conversation Stranger: lets get it going You: ok You: hi You: :D Stranger: hey there Stranger: how are you this fine day? You: very well, my wife just died! High Five! You: Freedom You: :D You: finally Stranger: *internet high five* Stranger: congratulations sir You: haha yeah You: She was being a bitch You: screeming all day Stranger: I hope it was a slow and painful death? You: yes Stranger: good You: heart attack, but kinda slow You: I wasn't home Stranger: awwww Stranger: if you had you could have held her head under water or something You: nono I'm not a murder You: xD You: but this way she's gone You: I got the money You: My girlfreind is moving in tomorrow Stranger: wait Stranger: why the fuck are trading one useless cunt with legs for another? Stranger: you just won the lottery Stranger: and now you're going right back into being a mindless fucking slave to some knuckle draggin half a retard Stranger: good job Your conversational partner has disconnected. or save this log or send us feedback. you: Stranger: heyy
You: have you ever been to minkaxx.com Stranger: nope You: minkaxxx.com* You: well you really should Stranger: sounds like porn You: we got the teens and the milfs and all kinds of shit You: its the shitnitz or whatever you teens call it Stranger: im a girl You: yeah sure You: a girl on the interwebsXD Stranger: lol Stranger: i really am though You: i almost fell off my chair You: fun times fun times Stranger: well you should be more careful You: a girl on the fucking interwebs You: whats next a man on the moon Stranger: man has already been on the moon silly You: yeah right, whats next after that: a man under water Stranger: hahaaaaaaaaaa You: or listen to this: A FUCKING WEBSITE THAT LETS YOU TALK TO STRANGERS You: BWAHAHAHA Stranger: wow you're so funny You: I dont know how i come up with this shit Stranger: me neither Stranger: so how big is your dick You: WHOA WHOA WHOA You: i fail to see the bridge from internet to dicks Stranger: sorry did i offend you Stranger: so why are you on this site sir? You: no You: im here to find young pussy ofcourse You: just like anyone else Stranger: funny Stranger: asl? You: im not gay but okay You: hey that rhymes too You: i should be on broadway You: well, anyways Stranger: broadway has nothing to do with rhyming You: age: ? sex: you guessed it location: you get it if i get to see you masturbate You: hell yeah it does Stranger: yu dont know how old you are Stranger: ? Stranger: im a 17 yr old female You: i demand masturbation You: im 16 You: half a week from 17 Stranger: im pretty sure you are a creepy old man You: summer birthdays suck Stranger: i have a winter birthday You: creepy old men dont like masturbation Stranger: which sucks even more Stranger: and yes they do You: depends how close your birthday is to christmas Stranger: i as suppose to be orn on christamas but i was 20 days early You: your mother fail at birth Stranger: mhmm You: but masturbation awaits me You: cya Stranger: byeee You: you press the disconnect button my hands are too old and weak Stranger: ewwwwwww You: i gotta save my powers for masturbation Stranger: so whats the real reason you wont disconnect You: these hands have seen 80 years of hard labour Stranger: peace bitch Caleb: My last one sort of degenerated into "Hot baked goods on fresh fruit action".
Yeah, it's a long story. And it's also one that would never occur anywhere else in real life :P That's why I still mess with omegle when i'm bored. Richard: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about! Stranger: hey You: say the most intelligent thing you can think of, now Stranger: eeehm, i wanna meet Paramore Stranger: :S Stranger: ? You: wow..... Stranger: haha You: you're going on a blog comment! Ezu: Stranger: hi
You: hullo Stranger: asl? You: don't call me asshole You: i might cry Stranger: im not im sorry You: nevermind Your conversational partner has disconnected. Asl is boring and dangerous. Ezu: And now for something completely random.
Stranger: last person disconnected because i was too random Stranger: is that a nargle? Stranger: hmm You: the game? Stranger: no Stranger: the banana of hopes and dreams You: particularly fiesty Stranger: not particularly... abso-qua-lutely You: un-fucking-believable Stranger: take your time, admiral, and it will be believe Stranger: just look into your inner eye for the key You: the ship is sinking! grab the whores and fill up that hole! Stranger: stop it, admiral, i do not want to be grabbed there. Stranger: i would rather dance with a blind monkey in vegas Stranger: what is vegas? Stranger: is it a fruit? You: it's Barbie's new boyfriend You: i heard he's from luoisiana Stranger: oh no! does he have rabies? or some glittery chest hair? Stranger: because i forgot to buy my school supplies You: i bet he like fishsticks You: does that make him gay fish? Stranger: admiral, this is no time to talk about your wife! the ship is dying! You: School supplies ahoy! Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Stranger: i forgot my tooothpaste at the hut!! Stranger: we must turn back! You: there's no way back You: vegas at our tails Stranger: oh, no! oh, no! i'm scared, admiral! should i rub some chapstick on my cheek to cool the pain? You: you better let the damn penguins gangbang the main macht You: for all we need is love Stranger: no time for insects, your macht is being raped! ou: gotta dress her up, penguins are such bastards Stranger: but... those are my penguins, admiral! the one with the purple coat is my father! You: the Purple Coat Gangbanging Pirate Penguin is you father??? So that makes you Vegas then! Stranger: no! but vegas is not me! it's my red-headed stepchild fifty times removed! Stranger: admiral, nooooooooooo You: That serves them right, those penguins! And you! You get back to Barbie and bang her for all the saints Stranger: but... i'm not equipped to do such a thing! i will need a carrot! or the toothpaste i left at the hut. THE TOOOOOOTTTHHHPASSTEE You: I'll get the toothpaste, my japanese schoolgirl friend owes me one. But you get you carrot in orderly condition at once! Stranger: DON'T YOU LOVE ME?? I thought i was your carrotface. what happened to us?? You: You slept with my sister - Mary the Carrotdrive! I am no admiral of yours now! Not after what you've done! Stranger: then, i will lay my head to rest on the melancholy potato of broken hearts and slowly die Ezu: No love for trolls.
Stranger: hey Stranger: asl? You: 32 lvl m\half-elf Erenor Stranger: sweet You: you? Stranger: 41 lvl troll You: you flithy bastard You have disconnected. Crilly: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about! You: My wife just died. WOO HOO! I drowned her. Multiple times. That bitch wouldnt die. Stranger: o lol ur funny You: I can move in my gf now. I got all my wifes stuff. About 5 mill in total. Stranger: wow thats just luck how does ur wife look likw Stranger: e You: Well I also put her on fire so like ashes. Stranger: do u have pictures of her before You: A few. Also before I burned her I got a few organs. Sell em on the black market. Stranger: lol ur funny You: I also killed all our kids. The bitches wouldnt stop screaming and crying. After I stabbed one of them of course.] Stranger: o thats just sad You: Not really. They started laughing after the laughing gas "leaked" and them they "tried to kill me" and thus "was forced to retaliate." Stranger: o wow You: Not to mention they all had life insurance. I made about 10-11 million in the affair. Did I mention the gf is worth a few billion? Stranger: no You: Oh well I did now. Maybe you heard of her? Shes called Felicia Day? Stranger: nope You: Oh well shes a tv star. She is going to have a "accident" invloving a gas stove and the gas being left on. Stranger: o You: Well I am going to turn on the stove. Bye. Twitter Trackbacks for Conversations With Strangers, by Tom Francis [pentadact.com] on Topsy.com: [...] First Tweet Apr 2, 2009 onthepradio tarci Influential http://www.pentadact... ...-strangers view retweet [...]
Michelle: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: 4chan Stranger: the game You: We seem to have hit a stalemate. You: :| Stranger: out of 2200 poeple that sucks You: Yes yes it does. Stranger: dog damn it where are all the koreans You: they bore me... Stranger: i talked to 1 4chaner twice in 15 min You: nice You: glad to know we are doing are job. Stranger: haha yes you are You: ;) we try Stranger: keep lookin Stranger: /b/rother You: RULES 1 AND 2~ You: But thanks! Stranger: and....26? You: and 36 Stranger: i wich for 24 Stranger: 34 You: On what? Stranger: not sure yet maybe the omegle logo? Stranger: or is that 35 You: Request 34, You: But 35 makes 34 true. You: Any other questions about the rules? Or is my work here done? Stranger: it is done You: Farewell. You have disconnected. Rick: Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: We're no strangers to love Your conversational partner has disconnected. Omegle – Talk to strangers! « my new blog (svade?): [...] http://www.pentadact... ...s#comments [...]
me: asking for secrets
I am illegally downloading the hangover I have spoken with you just now ;) I'm a 19 year old virgin. *proot* im horny i love u ok i am gay ur gay i have a hardone oh and penguins are behind 9/11 i have a big penis well i see dead ppl I want to fuck my best friend. I have twitter and im obsessed. I have a penis and am homosexual I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK your mother is so ho I just got scammed by a porn bot. They're everywhere now. i am crazy about sex I fucked my History School teacher Caleb: Stranger: yo muggle!
You: herro prease Stranger: is that some wierd kind of unmagic speak? You: ... Stranger: you guys are confusing You: unmagic? You: wouldn't that be like dark magic? You: as it's the opposite of normal magic? Stranger: no, it would be like, not magic You: YOU BASTARD You: you're a dark wizard, aren't you? Stranger: ............. Stranger: AVADA KEDAVRA You: Just hiding behind that facade of *DIES* Your conversational partner has disconnected. Returning Stranger: Sadly, having looked back into Omegle, it seems the quality has dropped noticably. And considering the low average quality before, that's saying something.
At least we were there when the goings were good. Ah, memories. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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