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TOM FRANCIS
REGRETS THIS ALREADY

Hello! I'm Tom. I designed a game called Gunpoint, about rewiring things and punching people, and now I'm working on a new one called Heat Signature, about sneaking aboard randomly generated spaceships. Here's some more info on all the games I've worked on, here's the podcast I do, here are the videos I make on YouTube, here are some of the articles I wrote for PC Gamer, and here are two short stories I wrote for the Machine of Death collections.

Theme

By me. Uses Adaptive Images by Matt Wilcox.

  • Grant: Thanks to the start of this video, I’ve just now noticed that during the static flickers while staring...
  • Ben: Great analysis. During the lab sequence in the Prey intro, you were looking around for tells that Morgan is in a...
  • RoboLeg: this game would be PERFECT for mobile, and I’d happily pay 10 bucks or so for it.
  • Jepp: 1) Please keep critiquing games by building new ones :) 2) The non-hand holding, simple systems integrating...
  • Jack: Are you going to release Morphblade for iOS or the Nintendo Switch? I would really like to play this on my...
  • Rewarding Creative Play Styles In Hitman

    Postcards From Far Cry Primal

    Solving XCOM’s Snowball Problem

    Kill Zone And Bladestorm

    An Idea For More Flexible Indie Game Awards

    Teaching Heat Signature’s Ship Generator To Think In Sectors

    What Works And Why: Multiple Routes In Deus Ex

    Natural Numbers In Game Design

    Naming Drugs Honestly In Big Pharma

    Writing vs Programming

    Let Me Show You How To Make A Game

    New Heat Signature Video: Galaxies, Suction And Wrench-Throwing

    What Works And Why: Nonlinear Storytelling In Her Story

    My Idea For An ‘Unconventional Weapon’ Game

    From Gunpoint To Heat Signature: A Narrative Journey

    The Cost Of Simplifying Conversations In Videogames

    What Works And Why: Invisible Inc

    Our Super Game Jam Episode Is Out

    What Works And Why: Sauron’s Army

    Showing Heat Signature At Fantastic Arcade And EGX

    What I’m Working On And What I’ve Done

    The Formula For An Episode Of Murder, She Wrote

    Heat Signature Needs An Artist And A Composer

    Improving Heat Signature’s Randomly Generated Ships, Inside And Out

    Gunpoint Patch: New Engine, Steam Workshop, And More

    Distance: A Visual Short Story For The Space Cowboy Game Jam

    Raising An Army Of Flying Dogs In The Magic Circle

    Floating Point Is Out! And Free! On Steam! Watch A Trailer!

    Drawing With Gravity In Floating Point

    What’s Your Fault?

    The Randomised Tactical Elegance Of Hoplite

    Here I Am Being Interviewed By Steve Gaynor For Tone Control

    Heat Signature: A Game About Sneaking Aboard Randomly Generated Spaceships

    The Grappling Hook Game, Dev Log 6: The Accomplice

    A Story Of Heroism In Alien Swarm

    One Desperate Battle In FTL

    To Hell And Back In Spelunky

    Games Vs Story 2

    Gunpoint Development Breakdown

    Five Things I Learned About Game Criticism In Nine Years At PC Gamer

    My Short Story For The Second Machine Of Death Collection

    Not Being An Asshole In An Argument

    Playing Skyrim With Nothing But Illusion

    How Mainstream Games Butchered Themselves, And Why It’s My Fault

    A Short Script For An Animated 60s Heist Movie

    The Magical Logic Of Dark Messiah’s Boot

    Arguing On The Internet

    Shopstorm, A Spelunky Story

    Why Are Stealth Games Cool?

    E3’s Violence Overload, Versus Gaming’s Usual Violence Overload

    The Suspicious Developments manifesto

    GDC Talk: How To Explain Your Game To An Asshole

    Listening To Your Sound Effects For Gunpoint

    Understanding Your Brain

    What Makes Games Good

    A Story Of Plane Seats And Class

    Deckard: Blade Runner, Moron

    Avoiding Suspicion At The US Embassy

    An Idea For A Better Open World Game

    A Different Way To Level Up

    How I Would Have Ended BioShock

    My Script For A Team Fortress 2 Short About The Spy

    Team Fortress 2 Unlockable Weapon Ideas

    Don’t Make Me Play Football Manager

    EVE’s Assassins And The Kill That Shocked A Galaxy

    My Galactic Civilizations 2 War Diary

    I Played Through Episode Two Holding A Goddamn Gnome

    My Short Story For The Machine Of Death Collection

    Blood Money And Sex

    A Woman’s Life In Search Queries

    First Night, Second Life

    SWAT 4: The Movie Script

    Conversations With Strangers

    Update! Some great conversations from the comments added to the bottom of this post (now with moar!)

    Last night Waxy.org linked a service called Omegle, which instantly puts you in a one-on-one chat with an anonymous stranger. I tried it.

    omegle

    I said it “Supposedly” did this when I linked it on Twitter, because I thought it might be a bot coded to randomly insult people, as a joke on the stereotype that people on the internet are twats.

    After three conversations, that was still my prevailing theory.

    For my fourth, I decided to try and break the pattern by acting like an utter dick first.

    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

    You: I HATE YOU!
    Stranger: my head hurts :'(
    Stranger: don’t be rude i’m sensitive
    You: I thought I’d try being the crazy one.
    Stranger: thanks, asshole
    You: Any… any time?
    You: Maybe all the crazy people I talked to were trying the same thing.
    Stranger: you’re an inconsiderate jerk
    Stranger: what’s your favorite animal
    You: This one: http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2009/03/29/otter2.jpg
    Stranger: why did you already have that link open and ready, you’re a fucking freeak.
    Stranger: WTF
    Stranger: THAT’S CUTE
    Stranger: LOL

    A pause.

    You: Did that make your head any better?
    Stranger: temporarily, yes
    Stranger: thank you for your kind gestures………

    I had to admit that it probably wasn’t a bot after all. Which suddenly made starting new conversations strangely compulsive.

    Stranger: Jesus loves you
    You: I’m just not that into him.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Stranger: z
    You: zz
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Stranger: o herd u liek
    Stranger: consensual sex in the missionary position?
    You: Yep.
    Stranger: hm
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    You: Rah!
    Stranger: hello stranger
    You: Hello.
    Stranger: male/female?
    You: I like to start conversations the way I imagine godzilla would.
    You: Male.
    Stranger: excellent
    You: The godzilla thing or the male thing?
    Stranger: bothhhhhhhhhh
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    You: Hi. I reckon your favourite colour is blue.
    Stranger: I reckon it aint.
    You: Oh. What is it?
    Stranger: My favorite colour is red
    Stranger: yours?
    You: Probably green.
    Stranger: well that tells me alot about your personality.
    You: Oh yeah? Red suggests to me that you’re an angry man.
    Stranger: quite the contrary
    Stranger: a passionate woman
    You: I say.

    Both Steve and Meteoracle shared shots of their conversations with wildly unhinged racists, and Steve inexplicably turned down an offer of sex with a robot. But one of my favourites was actually recounted to me by someone I was talking to on Omegle at the time:

    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

    Stranger: please don’t disconnect
    Stranger: i love you

    Update! Highlights from the comments:

    J-Man:

    Amusingly I was talking to a 14 year old girl, and she asked if I was single. I said yes, and she told me it was because I talk to 14 year old girls on the internet.

    You: Your appointment to FEMA should be finalized within the week. I’ve already discussed the matter with the Senator.
    Stranger: hi!
    Stranger: whut?
    You: He didn’t really have a choice.
    Stranger: who did’nt…
    You: When I mentioned we could put him on the priority list for the Ambrosia vaccine, he was so willing it was almost pathetic
    Stranger: you did’nt kill him did you?
    You: Why contain it? Let it spill over the schools and churches, let the bodies pile up in the streets. In the end they’ll beg us to save them.
    Stranger: Lets see… I’m actually kind in to that
    You: They can smell their deaths, and the sound they’ll make rattling their cages will serve as a warning to the rest.
    Stranger: i love it
    You: The world left them behind long ago. We are the future.
    Stranger: lets kill m all
    You: Our biochem corpus is far in advance of theirs, as is our electronic sentience, and their… ‘ethical inflexibility’ has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.
    Stranger: true… true
    You: But, I must admit, I’ve been somewhat disappointed with the performance of the primary unit.
    Stranger: Well, mine is work. dont know about yours?
    You: We’ve had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again. A new age. Aquinas spoke of the mythical city on the hill, soon that city will be a reality and we will be crowned its kings. Or, better than kings… gods.
    Stranger: I’m not sure if we should become what we want to be. The goverment is lying about the fact that they will support us. Who will tell?
    You: All right. I get the picture. You want a piece of the pie, or you’re going to toss the whole pie out the window. Fair enough. You can have anything you want. How about Europe? Your own continent. Just let me complete my preparations.
    Stranger: Go ahead. let my see
    You: What an expensive mistake you turned out to be. I’ve ordered the troops to kill you, because quite frankly I don’t have the patience to wait for one of those damn killswitches to work.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    EGTF

    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: oh its you! hows it been goin?
    You: Oh my it’s you too!
    You: Very well
    You: How’ve things been since we last spoke?
    Stranger: fag
    Stranger: go die in a fire
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Ush:

    Connecting to server…
    You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: *guitar riff* hello
    Stranger: *drum roll* FUCK YOU
    You: *thousands of people shouting at once* Well thats not polite
    Stranger: *people who care* What
    You: *a dozen horses screaming in unison* i mean you could have said “hi”
    Stranger: * A 1000 orphans crying * I’m Sorry let me start again HI
    You: *wind-up monkeys clanging together* Thats better, see? not so hard to be civil
    Stranger: *Loud noises* are you from a forum
    You: *the laughter of children remixed* Oh no, nasty dirty places they are.
    You: *cello solo in an empty hall* where are you from?
    Stranger: * 200 african americans* they are nice places to meet new friends
    Stranger: *400 cups of tea clanking* im from britain
    You: *trumpets blaring* i am from a country quite close to britain
    Stranger: *I have ran out of noises* france?
    You: *coins hitting a marble floor from a height* nope!
    You: *sheet metal being torn* To be honest Im not going to say.
    Stranger: * strange gruntiing noises* sweeden
    Stranger: * fecal matter hitting porcelain* why
    You: *discordant flutes* nope! because I am a naturally paranoid person. whats it like out where you are?
    Stranger: * children crying* awful but the weather is getting better
    You: *The worlds largest fishbowl being tapped with a hollow iron bar* ’twas a lovely day here! I say, do you like tea?
    Stranger: *N/A* No
    You: *echoing footsteps* Thats a shame. There is a lot to be enjoyed with a good cup of tea.
    You: *A heifer in heat* Take Earl Gray, for example.
    Stranger: to be honest i have never had a full cup of tea
    You: *Steam whistle* You really should try one you know. Take Earl Gray, for instance.
    You: *The dark hum of space* Strong and refreshing like regular tea, but with a hint of lemon that affects your pallette in a completely different way…
    Stranger: I see
    Stranger: anyway i best be off chap
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT:

    You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
    You: >What wouldst thou do?
    You: >
    Stranger: FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
    You: >You approach the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, brandishing your sword.
    You: >The FUCK YOUR MOTHER attacks!
    Stranger: SUCK MY DICK, FUCK YOUR MOTHER
    You: >FIGHT >ITEMS >FLEE
    Stranger: >FLEE
    You: >You cannot escape! The FUCK YOUR MOTHER is far too large!
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    You: >You open up your SATCHEL to ruffle through your ITEMS. You have with you a BANANA, a MICK’S TAPE, and a SMALL ROCK. What woudst thou do?
    Stranger: >use BANANA to FUCK YOUR MOTHER
    You: >You throw your mighty BANANA at the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, who falls writhing to the ground in agony.
    You: >You have defeated the FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
    Stranger: FUCK YEAH!
    You: >You gain three experience points, and the TOE OF THE FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
    You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
    Stranger: >QUIT
    You: >NO ESCAPE
    Stranger: oh shi-
    You: >YOU SHALL PLAY FOREVER


    Kadir:

    You: go
    Stranger: get
    You: a
    Stranger: great
    You: big
    Stranger: fucking
    You: bunch
    Stranger: of
    You: pickles
    Stranger: that
    You: smell
    Stranger: like
    You: they
    Stranger: were
    You: about
    Stranger: to
    You: go
    Stranger: have
    You: a
    Stranger: flight
    You: of
    Stranger: greatness
    You: to
    Stranger: alpha
    You: centari
    Stranger: to
    You: find
    Stranger: ender
    You: and
    Stranger: his
    You: huge
    Stranger: influential
    You: admired
    Stranger: sister
    You: who
    Stranger: wrote
    You: about
    Stranger: the
    You: war
    Stranger: let’s stop right now and agree we need to be friends, okay??

    Rob Hale: That last conversation could easily be the entire basis for an XKCD strip.

    Tom Francis: Or a novel.

    frothy: This was hilarious.

    Thank you, I needed a laugh.

    roBurky: I tried it after seeing your tweet, and after a couple if incomprehensible conversations, I came to the conclusion that it was a rubbish chat bot, too.

    Then just as I started to talk to the chatbot like it was a chatbot, I got a normal person, and I felt foolish.

    Patrick: This is the embodiment of

    http://penny-arcade.... ...2004/3/19/

    Grill: I had a lovely chat with a US student skiving from his Mechanical engineering class, and we bonded over hating all forms of labour.

    Either you're all social incompetents or the Turing test has been inadvertently passed, as average intelligence has been lowered to chatbot levels.

    nine: Open up one window of omegle and one of elbot. Combine.

    http://www.elbot.com/

    Theoban: I loaded it up, got a big blank page prompting me to say 'hi', at which point the wealth of possibilities overwhelmed me and I had to close the browser and sit in the corner for a little while.

    Jazmeister: Instantly got ASCII art of the pedobear. Next one, in under a second:

    Stranger: CHRISTIAN FUCKING BALE!

    So I'm going to try pasting that to everybody. The first person I did this to just said "wtf?". I decided to disconnect before the entire affair had crested the ten second mark.

    This is great. It's soaking up all my very-tired-talky-spam.

    Andy Baio: It was dominated by 4chan kids for most of the day yesterday, who were then reposting all the lulz onto /b/. If you got racist slurs, ASCII art, or any reference to "the game," it was just them messing around.

    Jason L: The Net's pretty good, yeah, but I could really use a few more tools for interacting with jackasses. I am an underserved market demo.

    Tom Francis: Ahh, that explains a lot Andy. My second theory was that maybe the user pool was small enough that a few abusive loons who never leave were souring the punch.

    (PS. Woo! It's Andy Baio!)

    MartinJ: I decided to follow up on your "rah!". I'm greeting every stranger with "rah!" and then random "grr ghragh rrr" sounds. It's hilarious how every person reacts differently.

    Chris Evans: I am currently having an interesting chat with some India fella about Cricket and F1. Very strange but very cool.

    Littleedge: Stranger: asl?
    Me: 100/God-like/Jupiter
    *long pause*
    Stranger: Sounds like an end-game boss
    Me: It should be actually...
    Me: What should we call the game?
    Stranger: BRB FBI

    Frosty Chives: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: HARD TIMES COMING YOUR WAY
    Stranger: WORLD PEACE CANT BE DONE
    Stranger: IT JUST
    Stranger: CANT EXIST
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    I feel enlightened.

    Nonomu198: Well, have I had some whacky conversations on there today. Too bad most of them started and ended shortly with "I HURD YOU LEIK MUDKIPS". The internet makes me sad. I satrted greeting people with "fleas", which got me around 10 instant disconnets from scared people. I had a long rather bland conversation with some guy for a long while, and that's about it. The other conversations were the usual "lmao gay butsecks". I took the chance to test my new power of invisablity to trick some people to think I am a really smart bot or the omegle's secret bot. Playing bot is fun sometimes.

    Funny stuff:
    (after I got a "connection imploded" notiec on my last chat)
    You: OMG
    Stranger: Hallo
    You: MY LAST CHAT
    You: JUST IMPLODED
    You: I'm in shock
    Stranger: MINE TOO
    Stranger: gentelmen
    You: spy
    Stranger: This will be the next time you see mee

    Your conversational partner has disconnected.




    @Patrick
    You see this everywhere on the internet, sadly.

    Frosty Chives: I'm talking to a 19 year old lesbian about sexuality. An entirely serious conversation about sexuality on the internet.

    I think the galaxy will collapse soon.

    J-Man: Amusingly I was talking to a 14 year old girl, and she asked if I was single. I said yes, and she told me it was because I talk to 14 year old girls on the internet.

    Frosty Chives: @J-Man
    Wow.. She really told you.

    ZomBuster: My last conversation was surprisingly civilized:

    Me: Hi!
    Str: Hi!
    Me: Oh thank god a normal person
    Str: Oh you got those crazy ones too? horrible isn't it?
    Me: Yeh, you know, spamming racial slur etc.
    Str: Where do you live?

    And then we had a nice convo about the difference of living in Europe and America.

    AMP'd: @Pentadact
    The user pool is small enough that if you get a bunch of people looking for each other using secret passwords, they will find someone they know.

    This might explain a lot to you, actually.

    Bret: I think I managed to convince a random internet moron I was an official survey guy.

    And I had an elaborate conversation with an individual who either was named Tom or was playing a gag on me in response to my claims to know him. Either way, odd. And fun.

    Ush: Thats funny Bret, I've just had a conversation in which I accused the stranger of trying to perform a survey...

    I am also curently inviting stangers to play games of Twenty Questions, with only partial success.

    Punjab: This one was fun:

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi
    You: Ok stream of concioussness right? Up or down!
    You: Gogo!
    Stranger: up
    You: Sit or stand?
    Stranger: sit
    You: Yellow or green?
    Stranger: of course
    Stranger: green
    You: Inside or outside?
    Stranger: inside
    You: Yes or no?
    Stranger: yes
    You: Mouse or trackball?
    Stranger: touchscreen
    You: FPS or RPG?
    You: touche!
    Stranger: fps
    You: Light or dark?
    Stranger: dark
    You: Bean bag or armchair?
    Stranger: armchair. im not 14
    You: Half empty or half full?
    Stranger: emty
    Stranger: p
    You: Buena Vista Social Club or Jimi Hendrix?
    Stranger: Buena Vista Social Club
    Stranger: b9?
    You: Awesome!
    You: Er... lemme think
    You: Comedy or action?!
    Stranger: comedy
    You: Left or right?
    Stranger: you gay?
    Stranger: right
    You: Godzilla or Gojirra?
    Stranger: gojirra'
    You: Mac or PC?
    Stranger: pc
    You: Theatre or Cinema?
    You: No not gay
    Stranger: you a guy?
    You: Yes
    Stranger: nice dick
    You: Circle or Square?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Bret: Oh, got the same guy twice once.

    Weirdness. Second conversation went better, really.

    Awcko: Well, this seemed to be going well, right up until someone sent me an ASCII Goatse with the words "You just lost the game" in the hole.

    Dave_C: I discovered this earlier today and spent about an hour giggling stupidly to myself while I got accosted by ASCII pedobears and ASCII Goatse.cx's.

    You may not believe this, but I did have one nice, thoughtful conversation with a Belgian guy about fine beers, CSS and other stuff. Still, it's more fun to act like an insane person.

    Books could (and probably will) be written about this.

    Frosty Chives: I'd like to talk to someone who isn't a /b/tard.

    Bret: I talked to a possibly French guy (or a non French dirty liar) who managed to carry on a conversation reasonably well.

    We talked a little TV, some gaming, I pointed out Firefly and Marathon to him for future viewing reading or playing.

    Combine that with half a dozen totally illogical and cruel pranks on strangers, and you got a fun afternoon.

    Zorgulon: After four or five sensible conversations, and many more trollbaiting and pretending to be the Heavy Weapons Guy to complete strangers to gauge their reaction, I can say without dobut that this is quite possibly the best microcosm of the internet community as a whole.

    SenatorPalpatine: the ASCII goatse was very funny and unexpected. It's a lot less scarey in text form.


    I had some half-interesting conversations, and plenty of really weird encounters (Stranger: Oh my nipples they hurt! IT HURT WHEN I TWIST THEM
    You: that's normal, don't be alarmed
    Stranger: Oh
    Stranger: How about the bleeding and stuff?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected._), but I'm done.

    Btw, did anyone notice that the icon from the site had an "ohm" sign in it while it's named OM-egle.

    Ush: Otherwise fairly banal...

    Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: *guitar riff* hello
    Stranger: *drum roll* FUCK YOU
    You: *thousands of people shouting at once* Well thats not polite
    Stranger: *people who care* What
    You: *a dozen horses screaming in unison* i mean you could have said "hi"
    Stranger: * A 1000 orphans crying * I'm Sorry let me start again HI
    You: *wind-up monkeys clanging together* Thats better, see? not so hard to be civil
    Stranger: *Loud noises* are you from a forum
    You: *the laughter of children remixed* Oh no, nasty dirty places they are.
    You: *cello solo in an empty hall* where are you from?
    Stranger: * 200 african americans* they are nice places to meet new friends
    Stranger: *400 cups of tea clanking* im from britain
    You: *trumpets blaring* i am from a country quite close to britain
    Stranger: *I have ran out of noises* france?
    You: *coins hitting a marble floor from a height* nope!
    You: *sheet metal being torn* To be honest Im not going to say.
    Stranger: * strange gruntiing noises* sweeden
    Stranger: * fecal matter hitting porcelain* why
    You: *discordant flutes* nope! because I am a naturally paranoid person. whats it like out where you are?
    Stranger: * children crying* awful but the weather is getting better
    You: *The worlds largest fishbowl being tapped with a hollow iron bar* 'twas a lovely day here! I say, do you like tea?
    Stranger: *N/A* No
    You: *echoing footsteps* Thats a shame. There is a lot to be enjoyed with a good cup of tea.
    You: *A heifer in heat* Take Earl Gray, for example.
    Stranger: to be honest i have never had a full cup of tea
    You: *Steam whistle* You really should try one you know. Take Earl Gray, for instance.
    You: *The dark hum of space* Strong and refreshing like regular tea, but with a hint of lemon that affects your pallette in a completely different way...
    Stranger: I see
    Stranger: anyway i best be off chap
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    maybenexttime: I was having a perfectly innocent, if sarcastic, conversation about Omegle which suddenly became worryingly sexual after Stranger cried: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

    Stranger: my penis is waggling very happily at this conversation

    I made good my escape pretty hastily after that point.

    sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
    You: >What wouldst thou do?
    You: >
    Stranger: FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
    You: >You approach the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, brandishing your sword.
    You: >The FUCK YOUR MOTHER attacks!
    Stranger: SUCK MY DICK, FUCK YOUR MOTHER
    You: >FIGHT >ITEMS >FLEE
    Stranger: >FLEE
    You: >You cannot escape! The FUCK YOUR MOTHER is far too large!
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    Stranger: >ITEMS
    You: >You open up your SATCHEL to ruffle through your ITEMS. You have with you a BANANA, a MICK'S TAPE, and a SMALL ROCK. What woudst thou do?
    Stranger: >use BANANA to FUCK YOUR MOTHER
    You: >You throw your mighty BANANA at the fearsome FUCK YOUR MOTHER, who falls writhing to the ground in agony.
    You: >You have defeated the FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
    Stranger: FUCK YEAH!
    You: >You gain three experience points, and the TOE OF THE FUCK YOUR MOTHER.
    You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
    Stranger: >QUIT
    You: >NO ESCAPE
    Stranger: oh shi-
    You: >YOU SHALL PLAY FOREVER

    Tom Francis: These are superb, keep 'em coming.

    Bret: I think I briefly convinced someone Spiro Agnew was acting president for two days.

    So, yeah.

    Mr. Brit: Stranger >I stand alone in the rain, I wander aloud; why did he leave me
    You >That depends. Did you put out?
    Stranger >I gotit out does that count?
    You >I don't think so
    You > Why do you think he left?
    Stranger> Cause I asked him to suck me off then threw up on my shoe
    Stranger >A friend helped me home
    Stranger >And I stumbled onto the internet
    Your conversational partner has disconnected

    Mr. Brit: Also, those otters are adorable :D

    Joe D.: Stranger: Demomen?
    You: Spah!
    Stranger: NO WAY

    ...and so forth. Turns out he plays on the same server as me. Who knew?

    Caskwarrior: You: what country are you in?
    Stranger: ok
    Stranger: wales
    You: sweet
    You: coal mines ftw
    Stranger: you?
    You: australia, also coal mines
    You: we rape all the fossil fuels
    Stranger: LOL
    Stranger: LOL
    You: hydrocarbons are shit anyway
    Stranger: australia lol kaoo land
    You: ??
    Stranger: nvm lol
    You: ohh kangaroos, fucking vermin

    Nicolo The Magnificent: I ended up greifing people.

    Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: hi
    Stranger: ?? ???????
    You: English?
    Stranger: no speak
    Stranger: help?
    Stranger: no well speak
    You: ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT
    You: WHAT?
    Stranger: ??? ? ? ????
    You: WHAT AINT NO COUNTRY I EVER HEARD OF.
    You: THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?
    Stranger: ;_;
    Stranger: ??? ??????
    You: SAY WHAT AGAIN
    You: I DARE YOU
    You: I DOUBLE DARE YOU
    Stranger: ??? ??????
    You: It's from a movie
    Stranger: ?? ?????.
    Stranger: IT'S "I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU", you loser.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Can't speak english my ass.

    Justice: Stranger: real talk
    You: Alrighty then
    You: What do you define as real?
    You: Serious discussion, or philosophy?
    Stranger: Hellman's Mayonnaise

    So now we know what the internet thinks!

    UberSprode: Stranger: Sup, droog!
    You: fettucini
    Stranger: yum
    Stranger: salmon
    You: bacon
    Stranger: cheesecake
    You: apple fritter
    Stranger: devil's food cake
    You: eggs benedict, with a side of toast
    Stranger: hash browns with scrambled eggs
    You: chili cheese dog
    Stranger: Shredded BBQ Beef on a Hoagie bun
    You: General Tso's Chicken
    Stranger: Dick's Burger Drive-In
    You: Mashed potatoes in garlic gravy
    Stranger: Twice baked potatoes
    You: Chicken Alfredo
    Stranger: halibut over baby shrimp with a mild curry sauce
    You: sweet and sour pork with sticky rice and an eggroll
    Stranger: Tempura udon noodles
    You: New York style pizza with canadian bacon and pineapple
    Stranger: european style thin pizza with ham
    You: Gyros and seasoned fries
    Stranger: saffron couscous under grilled chicken and veggies
    You: pasties
    Stranger: ranger cookies
    You: whole wheat waffles
    Stranger: Thin hot cakes like my dad makes
    You: pan fried perogies
    Stranger: pan fried scallops
    You: Chicken soup with stars
    Stranger: Spaghetti Os
    You: t-bone steak with A1 sauce
    Stranger: Pork Chops
    You: turkey pot pie
    Stranger: scottish style Meat Pie
    You: Coconut malt
    Stranger: like I got back in Lybster
    Stranger: Chocolate malt
    You: german chocolate cake
    Stranger: Peanut Butter M&Ms
    Stranger: simple
    You: lava fudge brownie with vanilla ice cream
    Stranger: I gatta go
    Stranger: I think you win
    You: aww
    You: at least I got a good grocery list now
    You: thanks :D
    Stranger: haha

    Kadir: I've been experimenting with using "go" as my first word. So far I've gotten 2 interesting ones:

    You: go
    Stranger: to hell
    You: go
    Stranger: home
    You: go
    Stranger: shopping
    You: go
    Stranger: in hell
    You: go
    Stranger: in the pooper
    You: go
    Stranger: go daddy
    You: go
    Stranger: go gadget go

    You: go
    Stranger: get
    You: a
    Stranger: great
    You: big
    Stranger: fucking
    You: bunch
    Stranger: of
    You: pickles
    Stranger: that
    You: smell
    Stranger: like
    You: they
    Stranger: were
    You: about
    Stranger: to
    You: go
    Stranger: have
    You: a
    Stranger: flight
    You: of
    Stranger: greatness
    You: to
    Stranger: alpha
    You: centari
    Stranger: to
    You: find
    Stranger: ender
    You: and
    Stranger: his
    You: huge
    Stranger: influential
    You: admired
    Stranger: sister
    You: who
    Stranger: wrote
    You: about
    Stranger: the
    You: war
    Stranger: let's stop right now and agree we need to be friends, okay??

    Jazmeister: Kadir: That is gut-achingly funny.

    sQUEAKYfOAMpEANUT: You inspired me to start building a piece of interactive fiction entirely written by the spontaneous explorations of the /b/tards on omegle, and my increasingly honed replies. Having notepad open for pasting helps. It's called DEATH KEEP. Thanks chum!

    LordNuts: Stranger: Ninja!
    You: Oh no, my samurai skills are too low!
    You: Can I use my smoke bomb?
    Stranger: i you want to.
    You: *POOF*

    After that I disconnected.

    J-Man: I'm a highlight! I feel so special!

    Bobsy: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: These are your instructions, agent. There is an envelope taped under your desk.
    Stranger: REALLY
    Stranger: awesome
    Stranger: i'll look
    Stranger: you're wrong
    You: Inside the evelope is $300 cash and a passport.
    You: What?
    Stranger: there was an used condom
    You: The envelope is gone, huh?
    Stranger: oh wait
    Stranger: now i found it
    Stranger: what to do now
    You: Can you check the passport? We've had a bunch of cases where interns have fucked things up.
    You: What name's on there?
    Stranger:
    Stranger: that's what it says
    Stranger: country Estonia
    You: Shit. It was supposed to be Madame Superteeth.
    Stranger: damn
    You: THIS ENTIRE OPERATION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED
    Stranger: what to do now
    Stranger: do i need to burn the envelope
    You: Oh, just invade Russia. It's like an all-purpose contingency plan.
    Stranger: ok good
    Stranger: what should i do there
    You: Agent, you KNOW what to do.
    You: Signing off.
    You have disconnected.

    Bobsy: But with a snipped out name in case he was actually giving a real name, natch.

    Zig13: You can always trust James to bring you the coolest stuff the internet has to offer. Great job Tom!

    Quasar: Hah, what a fantastic website. In my first convo, we debated the merits of various cheese types, ultimately choosing Cheddar as the clear winner. In my second, I spent an hour debating politics with a guy from Ohio.

    Interesting social experiment, methinks... There's no rules, really. There are no consequences to what you say, so you can say anything...

    J-Man: Turns out few people on Omegle have played Deus Ex.

    You: Your appointment to FEMA should be finalized within the week. I've already discussed the matter with the Senator.
    Stranger: hi!
    Stranger: whut?
    You: He didn't really have a choice.
    Stranger: who did'nt...
    You: When I mentioned we could put him on the priority list for the Ambrosia vaccine, he was so willing it was almost pathetic
    Stranger: you did'nt kill him did you?
    You: Why contain it? Let it spill over the schools and churches, let the bodies pile up in the streets. In the end they'll beg us to save them.
    Stranger: Lets see... I'm actually kind in to that
    You: They can smell their deaths, and the sound they'll make rattling their cages will serve as a warning to the rest.
    Stranger: i love it
    You: The world left them behind long ago. We are the future.
    Stranger: lets kill m all
    You: Our biochem corpus is far in advance of theirs, as is our electronic sentience, and their... 'ethical inflexibility' has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.
    Stranger: true... true
    You: But, I must admit, I've been somewhat disappointed with the performance of the primary unit.
    Stranger: Well, mine is work. dont know about yours?
    You: We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again. A new age. Aquinas spoke of the mythical city on the hill, soon that city will be a reality and we will be crowned its kings. Or, better than kings... gods.
    Stranger: I'm not sure if we should become what we want to be. The goverment is lying about the fact that they will support us. Who will tell?
    You: All right. I get the picture. You want a piece of the pie, or you're going to toss the whole pie out the window. Fair enough. You can have anything you want. How about Europe? Your own continent. Just let me complete my preparations.
    Stranger: Go ahead. let my see
    You: What an expensive mistake you turned out to be. I've ordered the troops to kill you, because quite frankly I don't have the patience to wait for one of those damn killswitches to work.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Roadrunner: I was somewhat dissapointed when I found a normal person :(
    But this pleased me:
    Stranger: hi
    You: Hi
    Stranger: hi
    You: hi
    Stranger: hi
    You: hi
    Stranger: hi
    You: hi
    Stranger: hi
    You: hi
    Stranger: hi
    You: hi
    Stranger: hi
    You: hi
    Stranger: hi

    That continued for a while.

    MartinJ: J-Man, I offically hate you. You made me dig up my ancient copy of Deus Ex again... grr

    Tom Francis: If you did all that from memory, though, I love you.

    Sam: Stranger: you play CS or any other game?
    Stranger: or are you just 1337 by birth?
    You: tf2 mostly
    You: i did a barrel roll as soon as i was born
    Stranger: dude. you win in life
    You: I just let ceiling cat work through me
    Stranger: basement cat is my dealer
    Stranger: does that mean we're natural, sworn enemies'ð
    Stranger: *?
    You: or you're a spah!
    You: mmmph, mmph mmm!
    Stranger: that made me lol

    It helps to know lots of memes

    J-Man: Aw thanks, Tom. And sorry Martin. I missed a little bit of Bob's lines, but Walton Simons is my favourite character of all time, so I know lots of his dialogue.

    Spy: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: Ahem.
    Stranger: Ahem
    You: Well, this was a disappointment!
    You: Just lay your weapons down and walk away.
    Stranger: Nio
    Stranger: I will resist
    Stranger: and survive
    Stranger: and kil you, maybe
    You: I'm going to gut you like a cornish game hen.
    Stranger: Really ?
    Stranger: You can't kill me
    You: Oh, please!
    Stranger: I'm go
    Stranger: d
    You: Huhuhuhuh
    Stranger: Do you know that Jesus was a raptor ?
    Stranger: Yeah, a giant lizard, just like you.
    You: I never really was on your side.
    You: *STAB*
    You: Oh dear, I've made quite a mess.
    You have disconnected.

    Bumface The Brave: Note: A healthy knowledge of US politics helps when you're talking to Americans.

    You: be afraid
    Stranger: of what?
    You: the recession
    You: and spiders
    Stranger: screw the recession
    Stranger: i love spiders
    You: woah
    You: OMG
    You: You're Barack Obama, right?
    Stranger: screw that
    Stranger: i hate those people
    You: Politicians?
    Stranger: no...
    You: ... Black people? D:
    Stranger: no your freaking racist
    Stranger: democrats

    Robert64: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: I love chocolate
    Stranger: Jebus?
    You: nope, chocolate
    Stranger: Not Jebus?
    You: nope
    Stranger: Shit
    You: In fact, I hate him
    You: for not existing
    Stranger: He loves you though
    Stranger: He also loves chocolate
    You: He loves chocolate, though?
    You: phew
    Stranger: He can make it
    Stranger: From poo
    You: I LOVE JEBUS
    You have disconnected.

    EGTF: Tom, you've started a dangerously addicting craze. I've learnt about the Beeb, duelled, and had my mother accosted numerous times as well as my sexuality. Plus mind games on a whole new level, where people try to see how gullible I am and I counter with over friendliness. Like so -

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: oh its you! hows it been goin?
    You: Oh my it's you too!
    You: Very well
    You: How've things been since we last spoke?
    Stranger: fag
    Stranger: go die in a fire
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.


    Ahh, so englightening.

    Frosty Chives: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: Ducks have no thumbs.
    Stranger: Discuss.
    You: Well
    You: The problem, you see
    You: Is that there is also a lack of hands
    You: And other fingers
    You: Your thoughts?
    Stranger: Quite. Though is it the lack of thumbs or do we have a surplus of thumbs?
    You: Aha! You have asked a question as old as time itself, dear boy!
    Stranger: And with that I'm off!
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Mr. Brit: Rober64, DO NOT TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!

    Also
    Stranger: chris is it iworking
    You: no it ain't
    Stranger: ha
    You: lift it up your end
    Stranger: there you are
    Stranger: funny
    Stranger: so what do we do now
    You: I dunno
    Stranger: well i have finished the peterson paperwork you will be pleased to know
    You: I don't remember that...
    Stranger: get back on msn
    Stranger: this is weird
    You: whats ur email?
    Stranger: huh?
    Stranger: chris dont kid
    You: I'm steve....
    Stranger: oh
    Stranger: chris said to log on and he would be right here?
    You: Well he ain't
    You: Geez
    Stranger: it is you isnt it??
    You: mebbe
    Stranger: ha
    Stranger: been drinking?
    You have disconnected

    I am neither Chris nor Steve

    Flowerpot Wang: Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: hello, I am God
    Stranger: hi god
    You: hai
    You: wassup dawg
    Stranger: sorry but i dont believe in god
    You: *poof
    You have disconnected.

    Mr. Brit: Ok, Robert64 if you weren't the guy I spoke to, ignore my above comment. I just ran into another guy who opened with 'I like chocolate' and it might have been him the first time :P

    Roadrunner: I'm not going to post it, but I just opened one up. I said hi.
    he said hi.
    Then he posted a brilliantly but disgustingly crafted piece of ASCII art... It was Goatse with "you lost the game" in the anus.

    Robert64: @ MR.Brit: I chose to start with I love chocolate because 3 times of 10, the stranger started the conversation with it. Either it was a craze sweeping the users, or it was one person exploiting a failed randomizing algorithm.

    Robert64: Posted this just for the end:
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: what's the best sex you ever had?
    You: With you last night, my stallion
    Stranger: Oh thanks
    Stranger: Is it you Susan?
    Stranger: :)
    You: Yes, of course
    Stranger: GREAT
    Stranger: Ive been looking for you
    You: Hang on, is there someone else?
    Stranger: did you get the email
    Stranger: cause Im not sure it went through
    You: Yes, it was... riveting
    Stranger: great
    Stranger: hehe
    Stranger: so...
    Stranger: how did it go with james
    You: WE DID NOTHING! I SWEAR!
    You: I mean, fine
    Stranger: ure so crazy
    You: That's why you love me
    Stranger: "stallion"
    Stranger: :D
    You: Just, I was going to go to... somewhere with James tonight, so I will see you tomorrow
    Stranger: what about tht thing we talked about eralier
    Stranger: if there is something you wanna try
    Stranger: something new
    Stranger: speaking of stallion
    Stranger: ;)
    You: Just, not tonight
    You: I'll be with James, doing nothing at all suspicious.
    Stranger: hmm
    You: (OOC) BTW, my name is james
    Stranger: Youre not susan

    Roadrunner: the /b/tards have invaded :(

    Stranger: a/s/l?
    You: 1464/ent/middle earth
    Stranger: TOO OLD
    Stranger: ………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_
    ……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
    ……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
    ……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
    …………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
    ………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
    ………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
    ………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
    ……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
    …………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : ; ; ; |
    ……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-,,_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;|
    …………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-~’’ , , , , ,,,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;|
    ..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
    ……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
    …….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
    ….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | . . . . . . ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-,
    ……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’
    ………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
    ……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-,,_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-,
    ……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-,
    ……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,
    …..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
    ….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’
    …,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-,,,,,--~~’’’’’’~-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-
    …| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
    …’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _,,-‘’
    ….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯
    …..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
    ………’’~-,,_ ; ; ; ; _,,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
    ………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘
    ………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
    …………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
    …………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
    ………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
    ………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
    ……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
    ………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’…………………’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
    ……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
    ……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’
    ……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’
    ……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
    ……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
    ………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,,
    ………….¯…’’………………………..’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~,,
    ……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,,
    ………………………………………………..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ,,_ ; ;’-,’’-,
    …………………………………………………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,__,--.
    ……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ , ,|, |
    ………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘

    Feel free to get rid of that ascii there.

    AlphaTM: Stranger: hi
    You: iH
    Stranger: like polish men?
    You: ?nem hsilop ekiL
    You: ?olleH
    Stranger: why you writing from backside?
    You: What do you mean "backside"
    You: thats incorrect grammar
    Stranger: so what is correct?
    You: now drop and give me twenty
    You: DO IT
    Stranger: why?
    Stranger: i don't have twenty...
    You: YOU DO NOT QUESTION ME
    You: UNLESS YOU WANT A CRACKED SKULL
    You: MAGGOT
    Stranger: r u ok?
    You: NOW GIVE ME TWENTY
    You: "R U"?
    You: PROPER GRAMMAR
    You: MAGGOT
    Stranger: are you teacher?
    You: NO
    You: I AM YOUR SERGEANT
    You: NOW GIVE ME TWENTY
    Stranger: i'm not a soldier
    You: YOU ARE NOW
    Stranger: in wich formation?
    Stranger: or division
    You: THE MARINES
    Stranger: i really wish to go there!
    You: april fools lolololol

    I... Don't know what came over me there.

    Nathan: Stranger: Hi
    You: hi there
    You: how are you
    Stranger: Fine, You?
    You: pretty good
    You: you're not a troll, are you?
    Stranger: Ofc not
    You: good
    You: too many of those around today
    Stranger: Ask my friend, Rick:
    Stranger: ........................................................................... .................,-~~'''''''~~--,,_
    ........................................................................... .........,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
    ........................................................................... ....,~''::::::::',::::::::::::::::::::|',
    ........................................................................... ....|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
    ........................................................................... ....'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
    ........................................................................... ....|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
    ........................................................................... ...(_''~-': : : :::o: : : :o: : :
    ........................................................................... ....'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
    ........................................................................... ........|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ --NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!
    ........................................................................... ...,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
    ........................................................................__, -';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
    ...............................................................__,-~'';;;;; ;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :',__
    ...................................................,-~~~''''_;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;',. .''-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;''-,__
    ................................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;,;;;;;;;;;. . .''|::::::::|. .,';;;;;;;;;;''-,
    ................................................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,'. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
    .............................................,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',: : |__|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,';;|
    ...........................................,-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;;;. . |:::|. . .'',;;;;;;;;|;;/
    ........................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;. . |::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
    ......................................../;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,';;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;; |..|. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
    ......................................./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'', |.;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
    ....................................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'';;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|. |.;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
    ................................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;| |:|. . . . |;;;;;;;|
    ...............................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |:|. . . .'|;;',;;;;;|
    ..............................|;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |:|. . .,';;;;;',;;;;|_
    ............................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'_;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|''''~-,
    ............................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_'',;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
    ........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| |:|._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_
    ......................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'....,';;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::'''~--~'''||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~''''~--,
    ......................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'....../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::::::::::::|;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;''-,: : : : : :'''~-,:'''~~--,
    ...................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'......,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|::::::::::::::',;;;;;;|_''''~--,,-~---,,___,- ~~'''__''~-
    ..................,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;;|.....................' '-,_''-,''-,''~
    ................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|......................
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Jazmeister: My mum was on this, it was great. She and my dad were sitting around their little laptop and my mum kept posting Burns poems to some poor stoner in ohio. Eventually he said something like "r u a nigger" and she was like "Once you've had black, you don't go back!". It was great. This is great. These are all great.

    I'm stuck on my little real-live adventure game kick, though. It's like playing games in reverse!

    Senock: You: Hello
    You: Hello?
    You: Are you still there?
    Stranger: hi
    Stranger: sorry I had bacon grease on my hands
    Stranger: had to wipe it on something
    You: That was something i hardly needed to know]
    You: Oh well
    You: Bacon is delicous isnt it
    Stranger: yeah but this bacon is really fatty
    Stranger: I have a piece of grizzle stuck between my teeth
    You: Ahhhh the cheap stuff huh
    Stranger: no this was $10 for 5 pieces
    You: Why is it that the only people ive talked to on this thing are pretty sane
    You: I want some frikkin insane people to talk to.
    You: ...
    Stranger: I'm kinda insane
    Stranger: I am married to my cousin
    You: I just realized I am becoming an insane person
    Stranger: ohweally?
    You: OMG you live in the deep south dont you?
    You: Like an alabamian (if that is how you spell that)
    Stranger: Alabama
    Stranger: Whoa good guess
    You: Sweet lets discuss various methods of hogtying and whipperwallin Yipee yee haw
    Stranger: suuuueeeiiiii
    Stranger: thats my pig call
    Stranger: i won 1st price this year
    You: Nah Im lying I dont actually hog tie anything and I am ashamed because of It
    You: "sad face"
    You: How did you find this website?
    Stranger: you dirty rotten scoudrel, I oughtta tie you up and call Hank to come with the shotgun, but use bacon grease insteada bullets
    Stranger: my uncle charley has a personal computer
    You: Oh snap The Feuds Back on, HONEY GET YOUR CHILLINS OUT OF THE BATHTUB AND HEAD UP TO AUNT FRITZYS TO WEATHER IT OUT
    Stranger: i only has one kid
    Stranger: hes a good boy
    You: Sooooo... Truce?
    Stranger: awww shucks, okay
    You: Then let this mark the glorious day of our everlasting union between YOU and STRANGER!!!
    You: Right on!
    You: Man that bacon grease must be one greasy sons o guns that ever did curse the nimble fingers of STRANGER
    Stranger: if yur ever in Alabama drop on by for some corn fritters and apple pie
    Stranger: and maybe even a hog
    You: Yippee yee haw to that good buddy
    You have disconnected.

    condemnedsnowman: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: go
    Stranger: Pawn to C-3
    You: king commits sepuku
    Stranger: Fuck, now how do I win
    You: lol
    Stranger: Cheating bastard
    You: battle royale
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Kadir: More go:

    You: go
    Stranger: Quick!
    You: Faster!
    Stranger: hide under the covers!
    You: They're coming!
    Stranger: keep the lights on!
    You: no don't!
    You: turn them off, we'll be spotted!
    Stranger: they can't leave the shadows!
    You: They've done it before!
    Stranger: if the lights are off, WE ARE IN SHADOW!
    Stranger: oh god
    Stranger: when? how?
    Stranger: we're fucked
    You: uh oh
    You: here they come
    You: SHIIIIIIIIIIII
    You have disconnected.

    You: go
    Stranger: suck
    You: my
    Stranger: cock
    You: or
    Stranger: my
    You: aunt's
    Stranger: best
    You: biggest
    Stranger: plant
    You: with
    Stranger: ten
    You: of
    Stranger: the
    You: best
    Stranger: plumbers
    You: in
    Stranger: my
    You: lifetime
    Stranger: but
    You: after
    Stranger: that
    You: go
    Stranger: see
    You: jane
    Stranger: doe
    You: and
    Stranger: kill
    You: her
    Stranger: or
    You: her
    Stranger: and
    You: john
    Stranger: with
    You: a
    Stranger: nutty
    You: fiery
    Stranger: because
    You: I
    Stranger: hate
    You: your
    Stranger: jewish
    You: food
    Stranger: it
    You: tastes
    Stranger: like
    You: a
    Stranger: ballsack
    You: covered
    Stranger: with
    You: feces
    Stranger: from
    You: your
    Stranger: mothers
    You: big
    Stranger: fat
    You: asshole
    You: the end
    You have disconnected.

    You: go
    Stranger: stop
    You: start
    Stranger: finish
    You: begin
    Stranger: end
    You: alpha
    Stranger: zeta
    You: a
    Stranger: z
    You: 1
    Stranger: 9
    You: uhhh
    You: hell, you win
    You have disconnected.

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: go
    Stranger: Stop
    You: start
    Stranger: finish
    You: dark
    Stranger: light
    You: straight
    Stranger: gay
    You: qwerty
    Stranger: poiuy
    You: 123
    Stranger: 456
    You: christianity
    Stranger: SATANISM!
    You: good music
    Stranger: bad music
    You: UPPER CASE
    Stranger: lower case
    You: Insert Home Page Up
    Stranger: Insert Home Page Down
    You: windows key
    Stranger: apple key
    You: opposite
    Stranger: is the word of the day!
    You: it's opposite, opposite, opposite day!
    You: happy april 1st!
    Stranger: April Fool's!
    You have disconnected.

    Lack_26: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: hi
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    No one wants to talk to me.

    Lack_26: Yey, someone talked to me. Extract

    "Stranger: I'm in a glass cube
    You: You're not David Blaine by any chance are you?
    Stranger: maybe I am
    Stranger: I don't think so
    You: He sat in glass cube over the Thames
    You: Everyone threw eggs at him
    Stranger: why - did you want to throw sausages at me?
    You: No, just bacon."

    J-Man: I'm a highlight twice! I feel super-special!

    Ludo: Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: where is the love?
    Stranger: What ? xD
    Stranger: My Love in my Foot^^
    You: wow awesome
    You: how??
    Stranger: Dont know xD
    You: dude that is whack
    You: do you know where mine is?
    Stranger: no
    Stranger: xD
    You: bugger
    Stranger: lol
    You: always annoying when I lose the love
    Stranger: lol
    You: I FOUND IT
    Stranger: where?
    You: It was in my EAR. I mean, wtf
    Stranger: lol
    You: I don't know how it got there but I'm happy now
    You: Thankyou for helping me find it :D
    Stranger: xD ok r0fl
    You have disconnected.

    Okimin: I am trying to get people play a text adventure. It doesnt seem to be working

    Joe D.: Keep trying, Okimin. Try starting with the first line of Zork. It works for me.

    Jazmeister: I use notepad for easy pasting, and when they disconnect, pore over the chatlog for any chunks of exposition i can re-use. It's fun to let the experiences of past players shape the current game world, especially if you let their actions and corpses persist. It's just hard to organise. Makes me wanna dig out that PCG tutorial and just make a legit text adventure.

    Anyone find any ad-bots or marketers on there? What about positively identifying people you already know?

    Redhawk: I started trying to be a dick in one of the conversations but the guy said he was Cajun and he spoke French and seemed awfully polite. I felt guilty and disconnected.

    Dan: This is the greatest thing ever and the rubbishest.

    The majority of random guys you end up talking to are searching for girls to chat up. The majority of random girls I end up talking to I can't help but attempt to chat up.

    It's interesting to try new things with conversations.

    Really though, this is nothing but an instant chat service. Chat was already anonymous and with strangers...just the strangers had names.

    Dan: Ok. I take back what I just said as I just had a seriously awesome conversation with someone. Then the bloody thing crashed. I'll never speak to that person again which I find stupidly depressing, especially since we were both having a great conversation.

    C'est la vie I guess.

    An even better Dan!: Stranger: im going to be frank, the ass sex doesnt sound very pleasant at all.
    You: im going to be mary, and tell you that it DOES

    Bobsy: Taking the idea of text adventuring again:

    Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: It is very dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
    >
    Stranger: turn on lamp
    You: You turn on your LAMP.
    You are in a dark corridor. Exits are NORTH and SOUTH
    >
    Stranger: n
    You: You go NORTH.
    You are in a plush bedroom. There is a television in the corner, and a packet of cigarettes on the bedside table.
    >
    Stranger: look at cigarettes
    You: Looks like an ordinary pack o' fags. There is a government health warning on the side which states "SMOKING SERIOUSLY MAKES BABY JESUS CRY, SO DON'T DO IT, FOOL"
    >
    Stranger: smoke cigarette
    You: You don't have a light!
    >
    Stranger: verbose
    You: I'm sorry I don't know how to "verbose"!
    You are in a plush bedroom. There is a television in the corner, and a packet of cigarettes on the bedside table.
    >
    Stranger: look for matches
    You: You search the bedroom carefully. You do not find any matches, but you find a TOTALLY SWEET LIGHTER under the pillow. What a fire hazard!
    You pick up the TOTALLY SWEET LIGHTER.
    >
    Stranger: smoke cigarette
    You: You fire up that bad boy and take a few experimental puffs. Ugh! Menthol!
    As you smoke you hear a sinister rumble of thunder from above.
    >
    Stranger: look at totally sweet lighter
    You: Wow! The TOTALLY SWEET LIGHTER is in the shape of a dragon. Now that is METAL!
    You have gained a new skill: ROCK OUT
    There is another rumble of thunder.
    >
    Stranger: take cock from pants
    You: You take the COCKERAL from your pants. You're not exactly sure why you keep it there, but it clucks appreciatively.
    >
    Stranger: rock out
    You: You hold up the lighter and start to mosh vigorously around the room. ROCK! ROCK! RAAAAAGH!
    The COCKERAL looks at you with wise approval. You gain 5 COCK POINTS.
    >
    Stranger: turn on tv, turn tv to Headbanger's Ball
    You: You turn on the television, but all you get is static. Terrible, wonderful, hypnotic static. The COCKERAL is mesmerised by the screen.
    >
    Stranger: are they here?
    You: The COCKERAL turns slowly and fixes you with a cold, expressionless poultry face. It clucks something at you, but you do not have enough COCK POINTS to activate your CHICKENTALK skill.
    >
    Stranger: stroke cock
    You: You stroke the COCKERAL. It barely seems to notice.
    You gain 1 COCK POINT.

    Stranger: invent internet, hypnotize cockeral
    You: The COCKERAL is already hypnotised! Your efforts are in vain.
    The internet has already been invented! You are not fooling anyone. Except maybe GWB.
    >
    Stranger: give cigarette to chicken
    You: You give the COCKERAL a CIGARETTE.
    Even in its hypnotic torpor, the COCKERAL is drawn to the prospect of Sweet Maiden Nicotine, and starts smoking. Impressive, considering it hasn't got any fingers or thumbs.
    There is an even louder rumble of thunder.
    >
    Stranger: hail satan!
    You: You hail satan.
    There is an almight explosion from above which shatters the ceiling and throws you across the room. In a second the plush bedroom is set into a blazing inferno, engulfing television, cock and cigarette pack alike.
    >
    Stranger: defile the cockeral corpse
    You: You defile the DELICIOUS ROAST CHICKEN. It doesn't make you feel any better. You lose all your COCK POINTS!
    You are on fire! You are burning fast!
    >
    Stranger: piss on myself
    You: You try to wee, but nothing comes out. Desperately you try to remember when you last had a drink. Oh man, it was ages ago!
    You are on fire! You are burning fast!
    >
    Stranger: accept christ, an hero
    You: You accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your saviour.
    It begins to rain.
    You are on fire! You are burning fast!
    >
    Stranger: go out into rain
    You: You walk out in the rain, putting the fire out. Phew!
    Out of the corner of your eye you notice a few loose CIGARETTES that have somehow survived the blast.
    >
    Stranger: get cigarettes
    You: You pick up the remaining CIGARETTES. Mmmm... You could sure use a smoke after all that, right?
    >
    Stranger: smoke cigarette
    You: You smoke a CIGARETTE. A second blast of lightning hits you directly, flash-frying you in an instant. As you smoulder on the floor a heavenly voice from on high whispers: "Told you it made me cry."
    You are DEAD! Final score 3/50
    Thankyou for playing!
    Stranger: load autosave

    Chijts: Bobsy dude did that really happen? Did you make that up beforehand?? That was totally awesome, and if you made that all up on the spot my hat goes off to you sir, and to the stranger.

    Okimin: oh my god. I pledge to you good sir.

    Bobsy: Yeah, totally improv'd. This is the way all text adventures should play. I get totally narked off every time I try my hand at any IF because it won't recognise my rather wordy commands. Every time it claims to not understand what I've typed I get angry. This is why I like MS Paint Adventures.

    Bear in mind that I tried the "you are likely to be eaten by a grue" line about five times before this one, and got only A/S/L for my troubles. This one guy that actually played along obviously wanted to continue, but I needed to actually do some work instead.

    Bobsy: Huh, for some reason there's a bit missing in between >stroke cock and >invent internet. It reads:

    Stranger: lose 2000 Florida election

    You: You lose the election due to some fuss about hanging chads. Eight years later your election campaign is forgotten but people respect your environmental initiatives.
    The COCKERAL voted republican. And it knows you know it.
    >

    Which makes the next command make a bit more sense.

    Bobsy: You: Control, this is serious. I've lost most of my team. Alpha 3 and I are all that's left.
    Stranger: OMG.
    Stranger: EWW
    You: Can you send assistance?
    Stranger: GAMER
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    That's right! We ARE second-class citizens!

    Barotte: I'm afraid I never managed to save the conversation, but I can recreate it from memory:

    Stranger: What's the time?!
    You: 10:14, my friend
    You: AM
    Stranger: We're both in the UK!
    You: Well, I'm in Scotland! >:D
    Stranger: :-o SO AM I!
    You: Woaaaah, sweet
    Stranger: Where about are you?
    You: I'm in Falkirk, between Glasgow and Edinburgh
    Stranger: oh my god... i'm there too!!!!
    You: Hahaha, prove it.
    Stranger: Well, I'm sitting in Graeme High School
    You: WHAT
    You: THE
    You: HELL?!?!?!
    You: I'M THERE TOO.

    Turns out it was a guy who's two years above me at school sitting in the School library. We were mildly acquainted, I made my way to the library and we embraced.

    I am serious. What are the damn odds?

    Barotte: Okay, I'm pretending to be a guy named Derrick, here.

    Stranger: YO!
    Stranger: stranger whats up
    You: Hey, I'm Derrick!
    Stranger: DERRICK!
    Stranger: You seem fuckin chill
    You: That's because I am
    Stranger: we should arrange a meeting
    You: I am the fuckinist Chilliest guy there is.
    You: Your house, 6pm?
    Stranger: shit thats chill
    Stranger: wait
    Stranger: is derrick a guys name
    Stranger: are you a guy
    You: Is that a turn-off? :(
    Stranger: since i am a man
    Stranger: yes
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Chijts: To be in the same place at the same time aswell, that's just madness. Who'd have thought this Omegle thing would be so entertaining?

    ClOGS: Stranger: hi
    You: no
    Stranger: asl
    You: ???
    You: WHAT dO yOU MENA?
    You: oh
    Stranger: 21 male holland
    You: OMG
    Stranger: you
    You: 21 female holland
    Stranger: haha
    Stranger: ait
    Stranger: :P
    You: wait
    You: I forgot
    You: what was our secret plan to take over america again CLOGS AND CHEEESE
    Stranger: i dont care
    Stranger: are you horny?
    You: IF YOU DONT TELL ME I WILL TAKE MY WOODEN SHOES AND KILL YOU
    You: IN HOLLAND

    CloakRaider: You: HURGUGHGH
    Stranger: HELLO
    You: Hello there.
    Stranger: how are you
    You: I SWEAR HE FELL I DIDN'T PUSH HIM
    You: I mean, fine.
    Stranger: ...that's good
    You: Excellent, first let me just say thisYour conversational partner has disconnected.

    Jazmeister: Favourite response to a/s/l: 13/f/canada.

    Awesome stuff Bobsy! I get a lot of rejects.
    I tried letting everyone's corpses pile up in the entryway to hell, with things they've said, like "brasil?", somehow scrawled on their arms or in the nearby marble. Lots of people disconnected when they saw a dead guy, though.

    I'm also messing around with acting as a proxy between two Omeglers, not quite sure how to make it really fun yet.

    Bret: Got a mildly interesting failure
    Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
    Stranger: sex
    You: With what?
    Stranger: wouldnt you like to know
    You: Wouldn't you like to know is not a recognized object.
    Stranger: obviously
    You: Obviously is not a recognized object. Did you mean Oblong?
    Stranger: no
    You: You do not have a "No" in your inventory.
    You: A grue draws closer.
    Stranger: guess
    You: You are eaten by a grue. Your score: 0/50. Try again?
    Stranger: i duno what your saying
    You: "duno" is not a recognized command.
    Stranger: DONT KNOW=dunno=duno
    You: "Duno" is still not a recognized command.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Text adventures are fun.

    Ludo: Wow I just had a lovely chat with a normal person on Omegle! I was surprised. It was actually sort of touching to have a genuinely interesting conversation with someone I've never met, and will never meet again. Makes enduring the 4Chan crap kind of worth it.

    Ludo: You: wow you like meat pies? most american's I've spoken too find the idea crazuy
    Stranger: Yeah man they taste awesome
    Stranger: I heard about cornish pasties too, never had one but want to try
    You: mmm I like a steak and ale pie with a pint of beer
    You: cornish pasties are like a meal in a bit of pastry
    You: potato onions and meat in a big lump basically lol
    You: as I said, not subtle!
    Stranger: http://thisiswhyyour... ...efat.com/
    Stranger: check that stuff out, that's whats wrong with america
    You: lol oh my god that two pound mcdonalds cheeseburger is insane!
    Stranger: I saw a huge pirate ship made out of like 10 types of meat
    You: :O

    Okimin: I've been trying to start that Patrick Bateman Huey Lewis and the news monologue but they keep leaving to early ) :

    Bret: And one more for the road.

    Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: ...
    Stranger: Hey
    You: ...
    Stranger: ...
    You: ....
    Stranger: Zalgo?
    You: .....
    Stranger: Do you liek mudkipz?
    You: ...
    Stranger: This is a brilliant conversation
    You: ...
    Stranger: I feel like a better person for having been involved in this conversation.
    You: ........
    Stranger: They're coming for you David.
    You: ..........
    Stranger: You're name might not be David, but DAMN that would've been fun!
    You: ..
    You: .....
    Stranger: Are you doing the whole mysterious stranger thing?
    You: .............
    Stranger: Resistance is futile!
    You: .
    Stranger: ....
    You: .....
    Stranger: GIRUGAMESH!
    You: ........
    Stranger: Ole' man river.
    You: ...
    Stranger: What has science done?
    You: . ...
    Stranger: I grow weary of this line of enquiry.
    You: .
    Stranger: You play WoW?
    You: .. ..
    ...
    ..
    Stranger: Lulz
    Stranger: Ik hou van jou
    You: .....
    Stranger: Do you ever think how truly unimportant we are in the overall scheme of the universe?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Baggie: Man, every 2/3 people are looking for women on this thing now.
    However I got a REALLY awesome ASCII mario just then, so I'll continue.

    Spy: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi
    You: my steam's broken and I need to talk to some equally stupid individuals
    You: do you fit the profile
    Stranger: sure thing
    You: okay
    You: put this top hat on
    You: and do a little dance
    Stranger: so your are playing counterstrike?
    Stranger: running amok any time soon?
    You: put the hat on
    You: do a fucking dance
    You: right
    You: now
    Stranger: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    You: PUT THE HAT ON
    You: DO
    You: THE
    You: FUCKING
    You: DANCE
    Stranger: you are a nigger?
    You: PUT
    You: THE
    You: HAT
    You: ON
    You: DO
    You: THE
    You: MOTH
    You: ER
    You: FUCK
    You: ING
    You: DANCE
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Dan: LOL?

    Caleb: Stranger: hey
    You: hi
    Stranger: how are you today?
    You: I'm Swedish Batman, who are you?
    You: i'm good
    You: i mean, i'm Swedish Batman, of course i'm good!
    You: The question is...are you good?
    You: Because i'm making a list
    You: I'm checking it twice
    Stranger: oh
    Stranger: ok
    Stranger: got it
    You: I'm gonna find out who's naughty or nice
    Stranger: night?
    You: SWEDISH BATMAN'S GONNA EFF YOU UP

    (it's funnier if you sing the final line as part of the tune too)

    Caleb: Someone needs to start a bash.org like site for these things

    You: stop it!
    You: stop using up the internet!
    Stranger: ?
    Stranger: okay
    Stranger: hahaha
    You: it's a precious, non renewable resource!
    Stranger: u should too
    You: once it's gone, we can never get it back!
    You: oh shit you're right
    Stranger: i kno
    You: uh oh
    You: i've been using up the internet too!
    Stranger: thats y i dont spend a lot of water
    Stranger: so i can use internet
    You: what if the internet police find me?
    Stranger: with no remorse
    You: oh good tradeoff
    Stranger: yup
    You: hmm
    Stranger: u better hide
    You: i'll have to find something to give up in exchange for internet
    You: oooh, i know! I'll give up my social life!
    Stranger: maybe im a internet cop
    You: 2 birds, one stone
    You: hides me from the cops, and it lets me use the internet without remorse
    You: oh shit
    You: are you?
    Stranger: well, i wont tell u if im duh
    You: haha well i'm Internet Batman! *INTERNET BATARANG TO THE HEAD*
    Stranger: hahahahaha
    You: *sneakily dissapears*
    You have disconnected.

    Caleb: The more i sit here on Omegle, the more disturbing i find myself becoming. Seriously. Sorry if any of you ended up opposite of me on it.

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: ello
    You: want to swap tartar sauce?
    Stranger: no, quite like mine
    Stranger: thanks tho
    You: ok, that's cool
    You: ....
    You: so....
    Stranger: what a strange question
    Stranger: so
    You: well, it IS the internet
    Stranger: true. and anonymous
    You: yup
    Stranger: you can say whatever the hell you want on here
    You: i could say anything
    You: i could even say...
    Stranger: you could
    You: poop
    You: (see, i said it)
    Stranger: shit thats what I was gonna say
    You: oh shit
    You: sorry for stealing your thoughts
    Stranger: where are you shitting from today/
    Stranger: thats ok
    You: the....aaaaannnuuusss
    You: no, actually
    You: i got shanked yesterday
    Stranger: where in relation to nz is that?
    You: in the colon
    Stranger: thats rough
    You: so all the feces is coming out that hole
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Mechanolatry: Here are a few of mine:
    Stranger: hey
    You: i made pancakes!
    Stranger: sick, love pancakes
    You: WOW
    You: are you a psychic?
    Stranger: def
    You: cause i just totally got sick all over the keyboard.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Mechanolatry: Stranger: So I walk in to this bar.
    You: i am the stranger!
    You: killing an arab!
    Stranger: OH!
    Stranger: How?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Mechanolatry: My first:
    Stranger: hi !
    You: my fingers smell like butt.
    You: do you like cookies?
    Stranger: I love cookies
    You: i dont... but i do love me some bile!
    You: mmm
    Stranger: what bilis ?
    You: bile
    You: vomit
    You: yums yums in my tum tums
    You: do you like puppies?
    Stranger: hum,where are you from ?
    You: they taste good too.
    You: im from Canadia!!!!
    Stranger: i like puppies
    Stranger: very nice
    Stranger: how old are you ?
    You: cats arent any good though.. too much fur and then there is no meat on them!
    You: old enough to pee by myself
    You: (when no ones looking)
    You: but sometimes they dont let me out of the room
    You: and i have to pee on myself
    You: that sux
    You: unless i can vomit too!!!!
    You: then i am happy!!
    Stranger: i'm happy too
    You: good!!!
    Stranger: i'm very happy
    You: what makes you so happy?
    You: do you stab things?
    You: why are there all these bugs crawling on me?
    You: WHYYYY
    You: what did i do to them?
    You: nothing!
    You: but they come in my house as if they own the place
    You: even neighbours dont do that!!
    You: but those bugs...
    Stranger: I understand you.
    You: i dont.
    You: will you marry me?
    You: i have to ask the doctor first, but I'm sure it is good for me!!!
    Stranger: do not know, I think
    You: you..
    You: you are hesitating???
    You: YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE??
    You: I HATE YOU
    You: YOU JUST WAIT TIL I FIND YOU
    You: I WILL KILL YOU ALLLLLLLL
    Stranger: why you have to ask the doctor ?
    You: STAB!! STAB!! STAB!!!
    You: STAB!! STAB!! STAB!!!
    You: STAB!! STAB!! STAB!!!
    You: why do you care?? you said you hate me!
    You: i'm going to scoop out your eyes with my spoon!
    You: i dont care if its plastic, i can make it work.
    You: i have the skills. I got my learn on in jail.
    Stranger: are you crazy ?
    You: ....
    You: what are you insinuating here?
    You: are you trying to tell me something in a secret code?
    Stranger: no,
    You: yes
    You: (i understood the comma)
    You: !!!
    You: Was I RIGHT????
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Weird Fish: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi

    You: FIRST
    Stranger: YO DAWG ^_________^~
    Stranger: SECOND
    You: D:
    You: im a cat
    You: not a dawg
    Stranger: kitty kat?!?
    Stranger: I LOVE KIT-KATS YOU KNOW
    Stranger: long chocolate bar ohmygod
    You: dude i had a mini kit kat chunky on a flight from france to england earlier today
    You: it was the most delicious oxymoron ever
    Stranger: oxycotton would be good right now
    Stranger: thanks for reminding me
    Stranger: TIME TO GO GET HIGH
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Tom Francis: Man you guys really connected. I think you should see each other again.

    Stranger: Brilliant!

    Yesterday I talked about novels with a guy in France (and the same day got a book by one of his favorite writers from the library), beer with a guy from Brasil (and the next day bought a beer I'd never tried before because he'd recommended it--embarrassing for me since it's brewed in Canada where I live. It was delicious.) and talked custom classic car parts with a guy in California. I'm a 38 year old mom of two.

    Rarrrrgh: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: what up dawg?
    Stranger: not much bruthaaaa
    You: what?
    You: that is incredibly racist
    You: you disgust me

    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Rarrrrgh: Another:

    Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: what up dawg?

    Stranger: 80% of the people here disconnect when i tell them were i live...
    You: where do you live?

    Stranger: germany
    You have disconnected.

    Anonymous: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: hi
    Stranger: hi
    You: my last convo was with a 16 yr olf finnish girl
    You: can u beat that?
    Stranger: im 14 yr girl from finland
    Stranger: =)
    You: lol?
    Stranger: you
    Stranger: ?
    You: are you actually serious?
    Stranger: yess !
    You: why so many finnish people...

    Stranger: i can speak finnish
    Stranger: just 2?
    You: yeah but do u livein finland
    Stranger: yes
    You: you do skiing?
    Stranger: =D
    Stranger: no
    You: why not?
    You: i would if i was finnish!
    Stranger: :D:D
    You: im 17 and from london
    Stranger: yeah. but every finnish is'nt the same way
    You: im called *********
    You: your name?
    Stranger: Milla
    You: haha
    Stranger: :(
    You: she was called emilia!
    Stranger: dont laugh
    You: you have the same name!
    Stranger: emilia is a pretty name
    Stranger: emilia and milla is'nt the same
    You: milla = emilia!
    Stranger: lool
    Stranger: :D:D
    You: all finnish people ARE the same =)
    Stranger: do you like to live in the rain land?
    Connection imploded

    I think it was for the best :P

    Bobsy: I think key to Omegle has to be anonymity. I'm not actively fighting against personal information, in order to try and build up a small relationship based entirely on its absence.

    Rarrrrgh: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: Bored? Of course you are, you're on omegle. Try http://rrowland.mybr... ...ute.com/ - A fun new game.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected

    Anyone wanna try that link for me? im a bit scared..

    MartinJ: It's some sort of a game where your character is generated by your name and then you just watch automatic fights and... I didn't really understand it, but it's nothing explicit or whatever.

    Ush: I couldn't resist...

    Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: Let's join a social network built just for two
    Stranger: whats a hiptaneuse
    You: you invite me and I'll invite you
    Stranger: how?
    You: We could lie about our ages
    Stranger: ok
    Stranger: im 3
    You: and customize our pages
    Stranger: cool
    You: with falling words that say
    Stranger: go on
    You: i love you
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Spy: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: Hi
    You: GOT A LOT OF GOOD THINGS ON SALE, STRANGER.
    Stranger: Well
    Stranger: Will you take this bejeweled goblet?
    You: I'LL BUY IT AT A HIGH PRICE
    Stranger: Okay here, take it.
    You: EH EH EH
    You: THANKS, STRANGER
    Stranger: Now..I'll take that Combat Shotgun
    You: EH EH EH
    You: THANK YOU
    You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN
    Stranger: Okay..Now, just give me a minute.
    You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN
    You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN
    Stranger: I've got to play fucking Tetris with this briefcase
    Stranger: Alright, I'll just move the ammo here...the stupid quest items here
    Stranger: Okay, the shotgun goes there. Now, I'll buy the RPG
    You: for god's sake I've got a living to make in this zombie infested spanish town
    You: EH EH EH
    You: THANKS, STRANGER
    Stranger: Jesus if you ain't a pushy fucking salesman
    Stranger: I don't see a line behind me
    You: COME BACK ANY TIME
    You have disconnected.

    Spy: Part 2:

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hii
    You: GOT A LOT OF GOOD THINGS ON SALE, STRANGER
    You: WHAT'RE YA BUYIN
    Stranger: nada
    You: fuck you then
    You: fucking spaniard fucker
    Stranger: oh lol
    Stranger: hahaha
    You: I thought you were cool
    You: like that blonde guy
    You: he buys my shit
    You: he sells shit to me
    You: but people like you
    You: grrr
    You: you just sit around and take us random shady salesmen who can get around without problem for granted
    You: WELL FUCK YOU
    You: MAYBE I WANT TO
    You: FIGHT THE FINAL BOSS
    You: WITH THE FUCKING RPG
    You: AND THE SHOTGUN
    You: HOW ABOUT THAT, BITCH?
    You: HOW
    You: ABOUT
    You: THAT!?
    Stranger: lol matter of fact, i do have something to sell to you
    You: What're ya sellin?
    Stranger: prozac.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Weird Fish: You: OH JESUS MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE
    You: FUCK
    You: FUCK
    Stranger: call 999
    You: AGHAG
    You: SHIT
    You: CACLAL
    You: FASDG
    You have disconnected.

    Sam: lol spy I think you got owned both times.

    Spy: More so on the second.

    ;_;

    Spy: um

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: Fire primary torpedoes!
    Stranger: XD
    Stranger: GD?
    You: Quiet, Lieutenant!
    You: Fire secondary torpedoes!
    Stranger: ebaumsworld? o-o
    Stranger: 4chan?
    You: "Cap'n, our hull's breached!"
    You: What are you talking about Lieutenant?
    Stranger: oh god i love you XD
    You: Damnit! Johnson, fire tertiary torpedoes, adamson, adjust depth!
    You: Set heading to 370
    You: "Cap'n, we're taking on water!"
    Stranger: ima name you jeff
    You: Full speed ahead!
    Stranger: ok
    Stranger: ilu jeff ;D
    You: We're going down with this submarine, Lieutenant.
    You: We might as well ram those damned Soviets first!
    Stranger: ima tell all my friends about you jeff
    You: QUIET LIEUTENANT
    You: THIS IS A SOMBRE MOMENT
    Stranger: but ilu D;
    You: "We're out of torpedoes, Cap'n!"
    You: Damned!
    Stranger: oh noes wut are we gonna do jeff Dx
    You: "Their ship is dropping depth charges!"
    You: Ram their hull!
    Stranger: this sounds like gay butt secks XD
    Stranger: ilu jeff
    You: LIEUTENANT WE ALL JOINED THE NAVY FOR THAT BUT IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN
    You: NOW ADJUST DEPTH WE'RE GOING IN FOR THE KILL
    Stranger: XD
    You: Hold on tight!
    You: *BASHOOOOOOMF*
    You: Damned!
    Stranger: jeff ilu!
    You: That is one strong battleship!
    You: Our only hope now is to
    You: FIRE THE SECRET ALIEN LASER BEAM
    Stranger: o:
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    Stranger: but jeff that could kill us all
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    Stranger: jeff stfu
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    Stranger: stupid ass gder
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    Stranger: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    You have disconnected.

    I'm trying to be serious and take down the soviet Battleship and this guy is just saying ilu jeff

    What a shitty lieutenant

    H: I only had one that made me chuckle, and it's not even that good.

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: Hi!
    Stranger: Hello!
    You: Do you still live at the same address?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Jason L: OK, that one's actually funny.

    Seth: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: is this a secure connection ?!
    Stranger: they're looking for me.
    Stranger: the F B I
    You: We've got you now!
    Stranger: FUCK
    You: Fell right into our honeytrap
    You: Now confess
    You: The building is surrounded
    Stranger: no way
    Stranger: i know matrix tricks
    You: We're the government
    Stranger: i'm hacking into ur system right now
    You: We have better technology than you can even dream of
    You: Just give up now and you won't be killed
    Stranger: if i give up
    Stranger: what will happen to me
    You: We'll just have a little chat. That's all...
    You: We just want to talk to you alone
    Stranger: that sounds reasonable
    You: If you tell us about the others, then we may even let you go
    Stranger: HEY WAIT A MINUTE
    Stranger: YOU'RE BULLSHITTING ME
    Stranger: FUCK
    You: Why would I lie?
    You: We have the upper hand here.
    Stranger: BECAUSE THE GOVERNMENT LIES ABOUT EVERYTHING
    You: We have nothing to lose.
    You: You have everything to lose.
    Stranger: I KNOW ABOUT THE ALIENS
    Stranger: AREA 51
    Stranger: THATS WHY YOU WANT ME ISNT IT?
    Stranger: hey listen now
    You: That information is sensitive..
    Stranger: let's make a deal
    You: It wouldn't be good for the general public if they found out.
    You: People would panic
    Stranger: if i get to see real aliens i'll keep my mouth shut
    You: The United States government does not negotiate with terrorists. Officially...
    You: But
    You: You should know that we don't have any living specimens
    Stranger: yes you do
    Stranger: you are working with them
    You: The corpses are all we recovered from the crash
    Stranger: you're lying
    You: Thats not true.
    Stranger: i saw them
    You: I don't know what you think you saw, but the aliens are dead.
    Stranger: ha!
    You: All rumours of humans and aliens breeding are untrue.
    Stranger: listen to me now dude
    Stranger: i can be a test subject..
    You: We have reverse-engineered alien biotechnology
    You: If you would be prepared to be a test subject then we will drop all charges against you.
    You: But I must warn you
    You: The procedure has never been attempted before
    You: There is a chance of... complications
    Stranger: what kind of complications?
    You: We don't know exactly, but our scientists believe that once the alien DNA has been implanted, you may lose all of your human memories and feelings.
    You: You would never be able to go back to your old life.
    Stranger: that's a risk i'm willing to take
    Stranger: look at my life now..
    Stranger: i'm chased by the government
    Stranger: i'm lost all my loved ones..
    Stranger: i've
    Stranger: my life...
    You: You have made a wise choice.
    Stranger: it's not even a fucking life..
    Stranger: i accept the terms.
    You: Now, if the DNA fusion is successful, we will be sending you on a mission to infiltrate the alien society.
    Stranger: i need more details
    You: We learned a lot about them from the crashed spacecraft that we discovered, and we managed to locate their home planet. But we still don't know what their intentions are towards us.
    Stranger: you want me to spy on them?
    You: The spacecraft did contain some weaponary, but we don't know whether they were just trying to find out more information about Earth, or whether they are planning to invade.
    You: Yes. You will be undercover on the alien homeworld.
    Stranger: sounds extremely dangerous..
    Stranger: but..
    Stranger: ..i'll do it
    Stranger: whatever it takes for the mankind to survive
    You: The aliens have a hive mind. They can communicate telepathically with each other, and they share thoughts and feelings between them. This should make it easy to discover their intentions.
    You: But, this is also why we must remove all trace of humanity from you. As they can peer into your mind, if you have any human attachments remaining then they will discover you.
    Stranger: that would be devastating..
    Stranger: how soon can we arrange a meeting?
    You: One of the machines that we recovered from the crashed spacecraft will allow us to download your human memories and personality for storage on a supercomputer.
    You: If the mission is successful and you are able to return home, then we may be able to return your memories to you.
    Stranger: i understand.
    You: One of our agents will be in contact with you in the next 48 hours.
    Stranger: i will be ready
    Stranger: ..hey
    Stranger: ..thanks
    You: No. Thank you.
    Stranger: ...it's an honor
    You: And... good luck.
    You: You're going to need it.
    Stranger: indeed...

    EGGS: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: KISSS MEEEEE
    You: KISS KISS SMOOOCH
    Stranger: LOVELOVE YAY
    You: ELOHVEEII
    You: Let's have a sexy party!
    Stranger: YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
    You: OSNAP.
    Stranger: ok
    Stranger: ok
    You: I'ma have a panty raid
    You: At yer place.
    You: 'Kay?
    Stranger: ok
    Stranger: i like that
    You: Your panties are huge! FATTAAAAY

    True dat...: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: Pants :)
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: Contact, western road. Fire at will!
    Stranger: no thanks
    You: Lieutenant Stranger, get a move on!
    You: Take your squads through the eastern buildings and flank them.
    You: We'll cover you, now MOVE!
    Stranger: they are already dead
    You: What!?
    Stranger: annihilated
    You: What... what have you done?
    Stranger: I killed them.
    You: Oh, good God... the butchery...
    You: You're an ANIMAL!
    Stranger: You are the only one left.
    You: It's just you and me now.
    You: One on one.
    You: Let's do this.
    Stranger: bring it.
    You: *Draws pistol*
    Stranger: *draws machine gun*
    You: Oh... crap.
    Stranger: MWHAHAHA
    You: *Shoots you in the face*
    Stranger: OH GAWD
    Stranger: The pain
    Stranger: THE PAIN
    You: A-HA! I knew your weakness, fool! Now taste defeat!
    Stranger: My eye......

    *it rolls on the floor*
    You: *Shoots you in the crotch*
    Stranger: Ouch.........
    Stranger: You are too good for me
    You: I'm sorry Lieutenant.
    You: We had a good run, you and I...
    You: But it had to be done.
    Stranger: fair enough
    You: Great last words!
    Stranger: I deserved what was coming to me
    You: *Finished you off*
    Stranger: Don't make the same mistakes I did.
    You: Umm... I can't think of anything else to say lol xD
    Stranger: Haha! :D
    You: Good talk dude lol
    You: See ya around
    Stranger: Thanks! :D
    Stranger: Yep
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Jives: Stranger: fuck americans
    Stranger: im an aus
    You: I'm a UK
    Stranger: cool cool
    Stranger: yeah man america pisses me off
    Stranger: there gonna get owned soon
    You: um
    You: They don't bother me too much
    Stranger: they bother me
    Stranger: IM RAGEEEED
    Stranger: j/k I lied im an american
    Stranger: so easy to lie about anything on here
    Stranger: I could have said im a 17 year old japanese girl
    Stranger: you probably would have believed me
    Stranger: fuuuccckk
    Stranger: your not talking
    Stranger: and I need to take a shit
    Stranger: so peace bro
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    SayWhat: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: Hey, there.
    You: I like your hair.
    You: Who does your hair?
    You: I'd like to go there
    Stranger: Jesus christ
    You: Don't use the Lord's name in vain!
    Stranger: Too late
    Stranger: ass
    You: hole
    Stranger: bitch
    Stranger: face
    Stranger: nugget
    You: chicken
    You: crackers
    Stranger: pieces
    You: bitch-ass-ness
    Stranger: buttsecks
    You: Oral. Betch.
    Stranger: Im actually from china so
    You: Woah
    You: I'm talking to a chink?
    Stranger: WOLOLOLOLOLO Tung jing tits
    Stranger: your talking to a shark nigger
    You: FISH ARE FRIENDS NOT FOOD.
    Stranger: fish are food not friends
    Stranger: get it right
    Stranger: ass
    You: Well, you're the racist shark
    You: I don't believe you have a say in this
    Stranger: so why havent we had sex yet
    You: And my donkey is sexier than yours 'kay?
    You: Because
    Stranger: thats not a reason
    You: I'm too sexy for this shirt
    Stranger: ass
    You: Hole.
    Stranger: im too sexy for my life
    You: No shark is sexy
    You: Niggaroach
    Stranger: Dick goes here
    You: And vagina goes there
    Stranger: BLENDER
    You: OSNAP
    Stranger: WOLOLOLOLOLO
    You: I'll be the missionary
    You: You be the lieutenant
    You: Let's get jiggy with it!
    Stranger: ill be the caption of secks
    You: Caption? As in under?
    You: Cool. I'm on top.
    You: SUCKER
    Stranger: yeah, caption, bot captain
    You: I still get the top, right?
    Stranger: Well i have banana as penis you see
    You: And my vagina is microwaved mango
    You: We get along great!
    Stranger: HOLY FUCK A MUDKIP
    Stranger: brb i gota catch em all
    You: DO U LIEK MUDKIPZ?
    You: Aw. Fine, be that way! I demand a divorce!
    Stranger: i haz 51 of zem
    You have disconnected.

    Thordain: While I didn't really play around with Omeggle, the link in my name includes a forum topic full of good conversations.

    Anonymous: ....

    SlappyBag: Simple but effective:

    You: Hai2u
    Stranger: hi
    You: So are you an evil stranger or a nice stranger?
    Stranger: nice
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    SlappyBag: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: cyber? ;]
    You: Oh yeah!
    You: I put on my robe and wizard hat
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Angela: Stranger: but i must go now cause my girlfriend wants to have sex now
    Stranger: sorry
    You: hahahaha.

    DiscountNinja: SlappyBag - that was so funny :D I mean, that had me stitches for ages :D

    Jason L: Indeed, well done sir. L(iteral)LOL.

    Preedy: Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: why hello
    Stranger: why not hi ?
    You: im rather posh
    You: hate to admit it
    Stranger: well nice to meet you
    You: im from england
    Stranger: : D
    Stranger: cool
    You: you are from?
    Stranger: im from finland
    You: brilliant
    Stranger: it is ?
    You: my mother knows your leader
    Stranger: Tarja Halonen ?
    You: see im at buckingham palace
    Stranger: nicee
    Stranger: im at home : <
    You: they met a few months ago
    You: oh i am at home
    You: i live at the palace
    Stranger: i know :)
    You: im william
    Stranger: but i have a normal home :D
    You: oh right
    You: a humble abode
    Stranger: nice to meet you william :D
    You: thank you
    Stranger: i think harry is more good looking tho
    You: i get tat all the time
    You: that*
    Stranger: : D but youre fine too
    You: why thanks
    You: someone from eton sent me this site
    You: quite a laugh
    Stranger: : D
    Stranger: im here all the time
    You: already spoke to a charming man from alabama
    You: well
    You: could of been a woman
    You: you never know ith these sites
    Stranger: :D
    You: with*
    Stranger: thats the fun thing
    You: oh yes
    You: excuse my miss typing
    Stranger: : D ah thets okay
    You: not used to this keyboard see
    You: new
    Stranger: :D oookay
    You: have you been to england
    You: ?
    Stranger: nope, but i'll move to london some day
    You: maybee we can meet up
    Stranger: meybe : D
    Stranger: whats your name?
    You: be a huge violation a internet safety mind
    Stranger: it would
    You: william
    You: title:prince
    Stranger: no, youre whole name?
    You: call me will though
    You: William Arthur Philip Louis
    You: sorry
    Stranger: ooh
    Stranger: wikipedia is my friend too
    You: mother was asking me if i wanted tea
    Stranger: yeahh
    Stranger: youre mother is dead
    You: why ive never been so insulted
    You: ah fuck
    You: i meant grandma
    You: balls
    Stranger: : D sorry to tell you
    You: hello
    You: i am from england though
    You: just not a royal

    He ratted me out at the end ¬¬

    Killa-Ewok: I have taken up a habit to copy the speech from I Am Legend to omegle, to see the reactions.

    I haven't saved any of the conversations, but I am asking if any of you have fallen for my TRAP.

    Octaeder: Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi
    You: Sarah?
    Stranger: no this is david
    You: Damn - I'm trying to find Sarah
    Stranger: david davidsen
    Stranger: nice to meet you!
    You: I've got something important to tell her but I've lost her file
    Stranger: oh
    Stranger: this sounds interesting
    Stranger: tell me more
    Stranger: =)
    You: It's imperitive I speak to her - without treatment she may not last long
    Stranger: well
    You: All I can remember is she uses this damn service
    Stranger: it happens to be that i'm a DOCTOR
    Stranger: WHAT IS HER SITUATION!
    You: As a doctor, you must well know that I can't divulge information about my clients
    Stranger: i'm a doctor with a gun
    Stranger: and i need this information
    You: That... that strikes me as an odd gimmick for a doctor?
    You: Does that really draw in the visits?
    Stranger: new standard issues
    You: I must have missed the Department of Health's briefing
    Stranger: damn i'm way to baked to do this shit
    Stranger: you just lost the game
    You: In that case I will continue my search for poor Sarah
    Stranger: okay

    Caleb: Dear random stranger who works in IT in the Netherlands. Forgot to mention...this is me here!

    Caleb: Apparently Navi is also in Pulp Fiction

    Stranger: hey
    You: hey!
    You: listen!
    You: hey!
    Stranger: what
    You: hey!
    You: listen!
    You: hey!
    Stranger: what?
    You: listen!
    You: hey!
    Stranger: WHAT?
    You: SAY WHAT AGAIN MOTHERF**KER
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    VAKinc: Stranger: sex
    Stranger: drugs
    Stranger: rock n roll
    Stranger: motorcycles
    You: ...
    Stranger: cash money
    You: ...
    You: I don't care what your gender is. I need to marry you.
    You: Now.

    VAKinc: You: Rise and Shine, Mr. Freeman.
    Stranger: ms.freeman thx
    You: osh- WHAT?!

    You: Ask me any three questions.
    Stranger: hola
    (Moment of realization that we had just talked to eachother)
    You: ...
    Stranger: ...

    Stranger: THE GAME
    You: ...
    You: YOU BASTARD
    You: NOOOOOOO
    You: I JUST LOST THE GAME.
    Stranger: not this shit again

    Calaros: Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

    Stranger: say somthing better then hi
    You: O hai
    You: There :D
    Stranger: fanxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:O)
    You: O.o
    You:
    /¯/___________________________ _
    | SHOOP DA WHOOP! BLAAAAAAA!
    \_\¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ¯
    Stranger: :)* D:
    Stranger: LMFAO WTFF
    You: IMA CHARGIN MA LAZAR
    Stranger: R U FRM HABBO?!
    You: Eep. No.
    Stranger: oh
    Stranger: soz
    You: Why do you ask? :p
    Stranger: where r u frm
    You: The murky depths of the internet...
    Stranger: idk u sound lyk that type
    Stranger: LOLOOL
    You: You weren't there man. YOU WEREN'T THERE
    Stranger: LMFAOOOOOO
    Stranger: wot the f
    You: Anyway yeah, hi! I'm Clon :D
    Stranger: (: im lori
    You: Lori? Never met anybody with that name! Where you from?
    Stranger: lol, new zealand, youu?
    You: Scotland
    Stranger: haha woah
    You: And if you shout freedom, I'll kill you :P
    Stranger: lmfao
    You: MUDKIPS FUCK YEAH
    You have disconnected.

    Psycho-Monkey: I like this one because by Question 6, I believe the person gets confused. I don't know whether to take is answer seriously or if he understood the joke.



    Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi
    You: Greetings (Insert Subject Name Here)!
    You: You have been chosen to participate in our weekly Surveys.
    You: Our Surveys are made to accurately record public opinion and suggestions to make your experience here at Omegle the most enjoyable.
    You: Do you wish to partake (Insert Subject Name Here)? Please say in all capitals "YES" to participate in the Survey or "NO" to skip.
    Stranger: YES
    You: (Insert Subject Name Here) has said "YES" to Survey. Please prepare for the Survey.
    You: As a side-note, please answer all questions accurately and truthfully to get the most enjoyable experience later here on Omegle.
    You: Question Number 1:
    Stranger: okay
    You: Please explain your experience here on Omegle.
    You: After answering the question please say in all capitals "FINISHED." Thank you.
    Stranger: it's fun talking to strangers. i enjoy it, except for the fact that there are so many chinese people. FINISHED
    You: Once again, we ask you to please answer all questions accurately and truthfully to get the most enjoyable experience later here on Omegle.
    You: Question Number 2:
    You: In the time you have been here on Omegle, how many times have you been asked you were a Female?
    You: Once again, after answering the question please say in all capitals "FINISHED." Thank you.
    Stranger: none, honestly. FINISHED
    You: Question Number 3:
    You: Of those times the "Stranger" asked for your gender, where they also interested in age?
    Stranger: probably half the time. FINISHED
    You: Question Number 4:
    You: Please give us your opinion on what these "Strangers" are looking for.
    Stranger: just someone to talk to, like me. maybe they're just lonely and bored. i think it's all in good fun. FINISHED
    You: Question Number 5:
    You: If given the option to report a "Stranger" for offensive behavior, would you use said option?
    Stranger: no, it's pointless. just press "disconnect" and get over it, that's what the button is there for. haha. FINISHED
    You: Question Number 6:
    You: Are you aware that the Cake is a Lie?
    Stranger: NO WAY
    Stranger: fuck
    Stranger: but it's so believable ;_;
    You: Once again, after answering the question please say in all capitals "FINISHED." Thank you.
    Stranger: no way. FINISHED
    You: Question Number 7:
    You: What is your opinion on the Demoman class?
    Stranger: what the fuck? FINISHED
    You: Question Number 8:
    You: What is your most enjoyable experience here on Omegle?
    Stranger: talking to horny 12 year old girls. FINISHED
    You: Question Number 9:
    You: What is your lest enjoyable experience here on Omegle
    Stranger: talking to fat nerds. FINISHED
    You: Final Question:
    You: If you could rate your experiences here on Omegle, what would you rate them on a scale of 1 - 10 (1 being the lowest, 10 being the highest)
    Stranger: 10 FINISHED
    You: Thank you participating in this Survey, we are glad for your responses and look forward to making your experience here at Omegle and enjoyable one.

    Ledundead: One experience of mine:

    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: I appear to have burst into flames.
    Stranger: cool
    You: No, hot.
    You: Very hot.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Snofeld: Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: i love you
    You: i know
    Stranger: really?
    You: i've always known
    Stranger: aww
    Stranger: do you love me?
    You: i'm sorry but... we cannot be together
    You: we're from two different worlds
    Stranger: but but..
    Stranger: we can do this
    Stranger: i know we can
    You: i'm so sorry
    You: but i have to get on that train
    Stranger: no!
    Stranger: dont get on that train!
    Stranger: if you get on that train youre going to regret this
    Stranger: youre going to think of me every day
    Stranger: every night
    Stranger: you wont be able to sleep
    Stranger: to eat
    Stranger: you'll always wonder
    Stranger: and i'll always wonder
    Stranger: even if there's 3,000 miles between us
    Stranger: how could do that to me, to you, to US
    You: i know... but there is no other way
    Stranger: yes there is
    Stranger: who cares about what you think is right, do what's in your heart
    You: i'm no good...i'm a crook, spoiled goods...and i don't wanna drag you into my world
    You: at least this way you'll be safe...
    You: goodbye...
    Stranger: i don't want to be safe
    You: we'll always have paris...
    Stranger: i just want to be with you
    Stranger: NOOOOOOO
    You have disconnected.

    You: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: wanne camsex?
    You: i came
    Stranger: come again
    You: i came
    Stranger: come again
    You: i came
    Stranger: go die
    You: i came
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Killa-Ewok: Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: EVERYONE!
    You: I AM ON FIRE!
    Stranger: SUCK MY DICK
    You: I
    You: AM
    You: ON
    You: FIREEEEE!
    Stranger: i'm too
    Stranger: so suck
    Stranger: my
    Stranger: dick
    Stranger: ecolregul@hotmail.com
    You: Hello! My name is and I am here to ask you, some questions! Is that OK with you, my dear
    Stranger: you're a fucking crazy man
    You: Thank you for saying yes!
    You: First question:
    You: Why is the sky blue?
    Stranger: because i piss on it
    Stranger: and my piss is blue
    Stranger: because i eat pussies
    Stranger: and pussie is blue
    You: Thank you for answering correctly! According to our registers, your answer was "I am a huge faggot without a sense of humour".
    You: Second question:
    You: Why are you a huge faggot without a sense of humour?
    Stranger: because I'm not happy in my life
    You: Thank you for answering correctly! According to our registers, your answer was "Because I enjoy Picasso's works!"
    You: Third and final question:
    You: Is the cake a lie?
    Stranger: no
    You: I am afraid that is incorrect! According to our registers, your answer was "Why yes it is!"
    You: Please take a second guess!
    Stranger: you're crazy
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Jazmeister: I say, that one was quite good. You win at the strange drop-in duel of wits that is omegle.

    Ninja: I got a fairly long, fun text based adventure game with someone. It was really really fun. It started out with a library and it was actually the 5th chat that I started that I didn't get disconnected instantly on.

    https://dl.getdropbox.com/u/9902/filedrop/textbasedadvent.html

    You might like it, who knows. I had a fun time playing.

    Killa-Ewok: @Jazmeister

    Thank you. And in case that wasn't meant for me...

    AWKWARD SILENCE.

    innovations101: i think we had a real connection here :)

    Connecting to server...
    Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: ??????
    Stranger: ??? ?????
    You: hallo?
    You: sprichst du deutsch?
    Stranger: ???????
    You: was fürne sprache ist das denn???
    Stranger: ? ?? ???????, ???????????
    Stranger: ??????? ??-??????
    You: achsooooo das ist ja gut
    You: und wie gehts dir so?
    Stranger: ?????
    You: echt?? aww du arme
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Caleb: Stranger: HI
    Stranger: ASL?
    You: WOW CAPS LOCK
    Stranger: LOL I KNO RITE??
    Stranger: YOU LIKE CAPS LOK?
    You: OH HECK YES
    You: I LUV THE CAPS LOCK TO DEATH
    Stranger: FINALLY, A KINDRED SPIRIT
    You: WE'RE GETTING MARRIED ON TUESDAY
    Stranger: WE CAN BOTH DO CAPS LOCK 2GETHER
    You: OOH KINKY
    Stranger: YES, WE SHALL HAVE OUR HONEYMOON IN ESTONIA
    You: O RLY?
    Stranger: YES RLY
    You: EXCELLENT
    You: GOOD MADAM OR SIR, I APPROVE
    Stranger: FANTASTIC :)
    Stranger: SHALL I MEET YOU IN VEGAS THEN?
    You: MOST CERTAINLY
    You: I WILL BRING MY BEST FRIEND
    You: HER NAME IS PUNCTUATION
    You: UNFORTUNATLEY
    You: SHE SPEAKS WITH AN ACCENT
    You: THAT SOUNDS LIKE
    Stranger: I SHALL BRING MY ELEVEN PET GOATS AND THEIR TIBETAN KEEPER
    You: :;;'..,;;'/%@
    You: THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL
    Stranger: MY GOATS SHALL BE MY GIFT TO YOU
    Stranger: ON THIS WONDERFUL OCCASION
    You: THANK YOU
    You: IT SHALL BE A FINE DOWRY
    You: MY GIFT TO YOU SHALL BE A GOURD OF WATER FROM THE FOUNTAIN OF AWESOME
    You: AND IT WILL BE AWESOME
    Stranger: IT SHALL BE FANTASMIGORICAL
    Stranger: IT SHALL BE SUPERMERGATROID
    You: IT SHALL BE...SIGNIFICANT
    Stranger: BUT!
    You: OH NOES
    You: A BUT
    Stranger: STRANGER OF OMEGLE
    You: INDEED?
    Stranger: I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU....
    You: UH OH
    You: DONT LEAVE ME HANGING
    You: PLEASE
    You: I BESEECH YE
    You: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU HAVE TO SAY?
    Stranger: GRAVITATIONAL MASS IS IDENTICAL TO INERTIAL MASS. THAT IS, THE AMOUNT OF INERTIA SOMETHING HAS AND THE AMOUNT OF GRAVITY IT HAS ARE EFFECTIVELY THE SAME. WHAT'S INTEREsTING IS THAT THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY REASON THIS SHOULD BE TRUE.
    You: UH OH
    You: A LOWER CASE S SNUCK IN THERE
    You: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
    Stranger: ONE COULD IMAGINE AN EXTREMELY LARGE OBJECT WITH LOTS OF RESISTANCE TO FORCE AND NO GRAVITY (OR VICE VERCA) BUT THIS IS NEVER OBSERVED
    Stranger: OK OK OK
    Stranger: YOU KNOW WHAT
    Stranger: I'M GONNA SKIP THE REST OF THE BUILD UP AND SAY IT
    Stranger: YO MAMMA'S FAT.
    You: SAW IT COMING, BUT THANKS
    You: YO MAMMA'S SO FAT THAT IF SHE DOESN'T IMPROVE HER DIET AND EXERCISE REGIMEN, SHE WILL BE AT SERIOUS RISK OF HAVING HEART DISEASE
    Stranger: OH!!!
    Stranger: I SEE HOW IT IS!
    You: YO MAMMA'S SO FAT THAT HER GRAVITATIONAL ATTRACTION GOES UP BY THE CUBE OF HER MASS
    Stranger: WELL YOUR MAMMA'S SO FAT, THAT IF HER ENTIRE MASS WAS REPLACED WITH URANIUM 235, AND THEN EACH INDIVIDUAL ATOM HIT WITH A SLOW-MOVING NEUTRON, IN ADDITION TO THE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF NEWLY-FORMED ELEMENTS AND FREE NEUTRONS, AN AMOUNT OF ENERGY EQUAL TO AROUND 2.6x10^58 KILOWATT-HOURS WOULD BE BE RELEASED IN AN UNCONTROLLED EXPLOSION
    You: HAHAHAHAHAHHA
    You: AWESOME
    Stranger: I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
    You: I'M SORRY
    You: OUR LOVE CAN NEVER BE
    You: BECAUSE I STILL LOVE CAPS LOCK
    You: I'M SORRY
    Stranger: *is crying*
    You: I'M SORRY
    You: IF I TELL YOU A JOKE WILL YOU FEEL BETTER?
    You: HOW ABOUT THIS ONE
    You: YO MAMMA'S SO FAT THAT IT WOULD REQUIRE TWO LARGE INTEGER VARIABLES TO STORE HER WEIGHT, OR SHE'D CAUSE A BUFFER TO OVERFLOW
    You: (SORRY, I JUST REALLY WANTED TO USE THAT ONE)
    Stranger: OH!
    Stranger: WELL YOUR MAMMA'S SO STUPID SHE DESIGNED AN EXPERIMENT UTILIZING QUANTUM ENTANGLEMENT IN AN ATTEMPT TO UNDERMINE THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE
    You: YEAH?
    You: WELL
    You: YO MAMMA'S SUCH A SLUT THAT EVEN THE NOBLE GASSES HAVE ATTACHED THEMSELVES TO HER!
    Stranger: OOOOH
    Stranger: Yeah
    Stranger: well
    Stranger: YOUR MUM IS SO DUMB THAT SHE TRIED TO MINIMIZE A 12 VARIABLE FUNCTION TO A MINIMAL SUM OF PRODUCTS EXPRESSION USING A KARNAUGH MAP INSTEAD OF THE QUINE-McCLUSKEY ALGORITHM
    You: HEH
    You: YOUR MOM IS SO UGLY THAT HER UGLINESS INTENSITY IS EQUAL TO 10^5 UNITS OF UGLY AT A DISTANCE OF ONE METER WHILE THE THRESHOLD FOR UGLINESS IN THE AVERAGE HUMAN IS 10^-12 UGLIES/M^2
    Stranger: OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Stranger: SNAP
    You: INDEEDILY GOOD SIR OR MADAM
    You: AND NOW
    You: I MUST BID YOU ADIEU
    You: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME!
    You: NOW GOODBYE FOREVER!
    Stranger: GOODB BYE FOREVER STRANGER OF OMEGLE
    Stranger: *BOWS*
    Stranger: YOU WERE A WORTHY OPPONENT
    You: YOU AS WELL
    You: *TIPS HAT*

    Tom Francis: How civil! Highly approve.

    Caleb: Why thank you!

    em2: Apologies for length. Worth it for the end.

    Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: yo
    You: Zimprov Ver. 0.001a

    You are in a ROOM. It is fairly dark.
    Stranger: the game
    You: ?
    Stranger: turn on liget
    Stranger: turn on light
    You: The light's go on. Your ROOM is a mess.
    Stranger: search room
    You: Your ROOM is a cramped apartment, but you apparently have a pretty cool collection of movie posters from the 80s.
    Stranger: check pockets
    You: There is a DESK, a LAMP (which is now on) and a hall to the KITCHEN.
    You: Your pockets have nothing but lint.
    Stranger: clean room
    You: You hastily go through your room, moving papers and books aside. You find a pair of KEYS.
    Stranger: pick up keys
    You: You place the keys in your pocket.
    Stranger: go to kitchen
    You: You start towards the KITCHEN.
    You: LOADING NEW ROOM...
    You: *PLEASE WAIT*
    You: You are in the KITCHEN. Gee, it's dark.
    Stranger: turn on kitchen light
    You: The light's go on. You can see your KITCHEN in all it's KITCHEN-esque glory.
    You: There is a FRIDGE, a STOVE, and a SINK.
    Stranger: search fridge
    You: Wow, when was the last time you went shopping. You're FRIDGE is nearly empty. There is only a bottle of SODA , some CHIPS, a MYSTERY FOIL-WRAPPED OBJECT.
    Stranger: unwrap foil sraped object
    You: The object starts to glow...
    You: GASP! The room is on fire!
    Stranger: scan object
    You: The OBJECT is blindingly white hot. The KITCHEN continues to burn.
    Stranger: Put object in pocket
    You: ZOUNDS! The object burns right through you're hand.
    You: The floor has now caught aflame.
    Stranger: run to front door
    You: Exiting the KITCHEN as fast as possibile.
    You: LOADING NEW ROOM, PLEASE WAIT.
    Stranger: Waiting
    You: LOADING NEW ROOM, PLEASE WAIT.
    You: You are back in your ROOM. Whew!
    You: You can still hear the flames in the KITCHEN.
    Stranger: look for fire extinguisher
    You: You search valiantly for a fire extinguisher. Can it be behind that vintage DUNE poster? No! There it is, next to you're mounted ALF collectable plate,
    Stranger: use fire extinguisher on fire
    You: You run back to the KITCHEN, and splurt the fire extingusiher everywhere. WOOSH! There goes that floor.
    Stranger: run back to room
    You: You race back to your ROOM.
    You: You hear the soft dripping sounds of fire dampening foam as it drips down your KITCHEN walls.
    Stranger: go on computer
    You: You look through your room, and find a sideways Apple IIc. You really do have an 80s fetish don't you...
    Stranger: log onto computer
    You: Unfortunately, the computer is not only sideways, but also half taken apart. You never did get around to repairing it, did you?
    Stranger: look for working computer in house
    You: You search in vain through your home for a working computer, let alone something made after 1988. No luck on either count. However, you do notice that your front door appears unlocked...
    Stranger: go through front door
    You: You exit your house.
    You: LOADING...
    You: You are OUTSIDE. It is either dusk or dawn, hard to tell. You can't see too much else.
    Stranger: take off clothes
    You: You strip nude. Gee, it's chilly.
    Stranger: Look for other people
    You: You walk out further, stumbling slightly in the darkness. There appears to be a path up ahead, but you can't really make it out.
    Stranger: Walk down path
    You: You walk out on to the path. The rocky surface cuts at your bare feet.
    You: You hear a faint roaring sound.
    You: It seems like the sound is getting closer.
    You: You see a faint light(s)...
    You: WOOSH!
    You: You have been hit by a car.
    Stranger: Roll for evade!
    You: Non game comment : ROLF
    You: You have DIED. Your score: 88/100
    You: A+ for stamina and effort.
    You:Thanks for trying Zimprov. Mind you, this is like a beta of a beta. Any and all feedback welcome.
    Stranger: Needs little girls to molest
    You: We will take this into consideration.

    em2: One more. I swear that's it.

    Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: Is there hope
    Stranger: i hope so
    You: I see what you did there.
    Stranger: it's the truth
    You: That's what you tell them?
    Stranger: i live in the truth
    You: Keats coming up?
    Stranger: i don't listen to indie bands
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Jimbob: One of my fave conversations that had me in stitches for some reason:

    You: I am the stranger
    Stranger: i am too.
    You: we all are
    Stranger: where do you come from, stranger?
    You: The Sea Of Tranquility
    Stranger: ooookay.
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Herpers: Yay trolling: Note that I am male :P
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: Hello
    Stranger: hola
    Stranger: m spanish
    Stranger: u???
    Stranger: somalian/???
    You: Australian :P
    Stranger: ello
    Stranger: where
    Stranger: r
    Stranger: u???
    You: Australia...
    Stranger: u liv in sydney
    Stranger: cozz
    You: No.
    Stranger: i got a home there
    Stranger: i go there during mi vaccation
    You: Lucky you.
    Stranger: thnxxx
    Stranger: u wanna be lucky???
    Stranger: cozz
    You: Everyone could use some luck.
    Stranger: i can make u one....
    You: One what?
    Stranger: u just hav to do a thing
    Stranger: u ready to do it???
    You: sure.
    Stranger: u get millionar at a night
    Stranger: u just hav to
    Stranger: marr y
    Stranger: me
    Stranger: so whats ur thought???
    You: Well, do you have a big cock?
    Stranger: why???
    Stranger: u fond of big cock
    You: Yeah.
    Stranger: only if u ready to suck it
    You: Only if it's big.
    Stranger: yup
    Stranger: ok then whats ur email id??????
    You: One more question.
    You: Is gay marraige allowed where you are?
    Stranger: ohhh..........shit
    Stranger: shot
    Stranger: shit
    Stranger: all the way i was taking was ta a shit

    Ashling: Hehe, I love Omegle. Here's some "games" to play on it:

    -Type in a really dirty question and see how many times you get disconnected before you get an answer. If they do answer, act offended and see if they disconnect.
    -Type in a quote or fact, again see how many times you're disconnected before you get an answer.
    -Type, "hurro". You'll be shcoked how many people don't know what that means.
    -Start typing song lyrics,
    e.g
    you: JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL
    you: LIVING IN A LONELY WORLD
    And see if they start to continue the song. Or disconnect.
    -Type, "tell me a secret". I am yet to read someone's real secret, though.

    =]

    soreye: I keep saying I'm 'The Doctor' from the hit BBC tv series Doctor Who, but its only worked once.... :)

    Thijs: Stranger: do what your mother tells you
    Stranger: hi
    You: My mother tells me to smoke weed =(
    Stranger: smoke it
    You: done
    You: it's all gone now
    Stranger: gj
    Stranger: get more
    You: Can't
    Stranger: go
    You: I ate it all
    Stranger: get
    Stranger: u wat
    You: your mum?
    Stranger: my
    You: yes
    Stranger: wat
    You: she ate my weed
    Stranger: you said you ate it
    Stranger: mummy?
    You: No I did not!
    Stranger: yes
    You: Maybe
    Stranger:
    Stranger: I ate it all
    You: See
    You: Stranger
    You: that's you
    Stranger: thats you
    You: I'm ' you '
    Stranger: nooooooooooo
    Stranger:
    You: I ate it all
    You: I want your mum to make me a fresh joint now.
    You: We ate it together
    You: She ate most though
    Stranger: i'm thinking of going gay
    You: Going gay pwns cocks
    Stranger: only guys want to have sex with me
    You: And you're male?
    You: Well
    Stranger: yeah
    You: That blows! *pun alert*
    You: anyway
    Stranger: hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    Stranger: yeah
    You: I missed the bridge from 'weed' to 'gay'
    You: I'll just make one up
    Stranger: k
    You: weed is heterosexual
    You: so
    You: now we can talk about your gayness
    Stranger: nice
    You: Sex?
    Stranger: what
    Stranger: m/f
    You: Did I say that out loud?
    Stranger: no
    Stranger: you typed it
    You: Good
    You: I said it too
    Stranger: oh
    Stranger: do you say everything you type
    Stranger: like in the movies
    You: Yes.
    You: Sometimes it is hard
    You: as
    Stranger: badass
    You: if I ram my head on my keyboard when frustrated
    You: it's pretty hard
    You: v bjioseoigqw=-o
    You: try say that 20x in row.
    Stranger: looks difficult
    Stranger: `the phones ringing
    Stranger: shit
    You: Taha
    You: Phones are for gays
    You: Real men use penguins
    Stranger: fucking telemarketers
    You: I prefer fucking stockbrokers.

    Caleb: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: *rings doorbell*
    You: *opens door in pyjamas*
    You: Hello
    Stranger: Hi
    Stranger: Are you interested in joining the Jehova Witnesses?
    Stranger: Here, have a leaflet
    You: Not particularly. I just ate.
    You: You're the cannibalism guys, right?
    Stranger: Alright, but we'll be back >_<
    Stranger: Yes
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Dr. ROCKZO: Stranger: hi
    You: who are you and what are you doing on my chat?
    You: are you a pedophile? My mum warned me about you guys..
    Stranger: what? you crazy
    You: I DONT WANT YOUR CANDY
    You: STAY AWAY

    Mr Fun: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: why can't a cucumber sing
    You: because it's a fucking vegetable
    Stranger: a valid point, however ........
    Stranger: why can't a cucumber sing?
    You: because there are too many people attempting to tell it irrelevent jokes and interrupting it's flow?
    Stranger: close but no cookie
    Stranger: why can't a cucumber sing?
    You: because it heard the grass-a-growin'?
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Jim: haha I got one:
    Stranger: lets do this
    You: what?
    Stranger: this conversation
    Stranger: lets get it going
    You: ok
    You: hi
    You: :D
    Stranger: hey there
    Stranger: how are you this fine day?
    You: very well, my wife just died! High Five!
    You: Freedom
    You: :D
    You: finally
    Stranger: *internet high five*
    Stranger: congratulations sir
    You: haha yeah
    You: She was being a bitch
    You: screeming all day
    Stranger: I hope it was a slow and painful death?
    You: yes
    Stranger: good
    You: heart attack, but kinda slow
    You: I wasn't home
    Stranger: awwww
    Stranger: if you had you could have held her head under water or something
    You: nono I'm not a murder
    You: xD
    You: but this way she's gone
    You: I got the money
    You: My girlfreind is moving in tomorrow
    Stranger: wait
    Stranger: why the fuck are trading one useless cunt with legs for another?
    Stranger: you just won the lottery
    Stranger: and now you're going right back into being a mindless fucking slave to some knuckle draggin half a retard
    Stranger: good job
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.
    or save this log or send us feedback.

    you: Stranger: heyy
    You: have you ever been to minkaxx.com
    Stranger: nope
    You: minkaxxx.com*
    You: well you really should
    Stranger: sounds like porn
    You: we got the teens and the milfs and all kinds of shit
    You: its the shitnitz or whatever you teens call it
    Stranger: im a girl
    You: yeah sure
    You: a girl on the interwebsXD
    Stranger: lol
    Stranger: i really am though
    You: i almost fell off my chair
    You: fun times fun times
    Stranger: well you should be more careful
    You: a girl on the fucking interwebs
    You: whats next a man on the moon
    Stranger: man has already been on the moon silly
    You: yeah right, whats next after that: a man under water
    Stranger: hahaaaaaaaaaa
    You: or listen to this: A FUCKING WEBSITE THAT LETS YOU TALK TO STRANGERS
    You: BWAHAHAHA
    Stranger: wow you're so funny
    You: I dont know how i come up with this shit
    Stranger: me neither
    Stranger: so how big is your dick
    You: WHOA WHOA WHOA
    You: i fail to see the bridge from internet to dicks
    Stranger: sorry did i offend you
    Stranger: so why are you on this site sir?
    You: no
    You: im here to find young pussy ofcourse
    You: just like anyone else
    Stranger: funny
    Stranger: asl?
    You: im not gay but okay
    You: hey that rhymes too
    You: i should be on broadway
    You: well, anyways
    Stranger: broadway has nothing to do with rhyming
    You: age: ?
    sex: you guessed it
    location: you get it if i get to see you masturbate
    You: hell yeah it does
    Stranger: yu dont know how old you are
    Stranger: ?
    Stranger: im a 17 yr old female
    You: i demand masturbation
    You: im 16
    You: half a week from 17
    Stranger: im pretty sure you are a creepy old man
    You: summer birthdays suck
    Stranger: i have a winter birthday
    You: creepy old men dont like masturbation
    Stranger: which sucks even more
    Stranger: and yes they do
    You: depends how close your birthday is to christmas
    Stranger: i as suppose to be orn on christamas but i was 20 days early
    You: your mother fail at birth
    Stranger: mhmm
    You: but masturbation awaits me
    You: cya
    Stranger: byeee
    You: you press the disconnect button my hands are too old and weak
    Stranger: ewwwwwww
    You: i gotta save my powers for masturbation
    Stranger: so whats the real reason you wont disconnect
    You: these hands have seen 80 years of hard labour
    Stranger: peace bitch

    Caleb: My last one sort of degenerated into "Hot baked goods on fresh fruit action".

    Yeah, it's a long story. And it's also one that would never occur anywhere else in real life :P That's why I still mess with omegle when i'm bored.

    Richard: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
    Stranger: hey
    You: say the most intelligent thing you can think of, now
    Stranger: eeehm, i wanna meet Paramore
    Stranger: :S
    Stranger: ?
    You: wow.....
    Stranger: haha
    You: you're going on a blog comment!

    Ezu: Stranger: hi
    You: hullo
    Stranger: asl?
    You: don't call me asshole
    You: i might cry
    Stranger: im not im sorry
    You: nevermind
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Asl is boring and dangerous.

    Ezu: And now for something completely random.


    Stranger: last person disconnected because i was too random
    Stranger: is that a nargle?
    Stranger: hmm
    You: the game?
    Stranger: no
    Stranger: the banana of hopes and dreams
    You: particularly fiesty
    Stranger: not particularly... abso-qua-lutely
    You: un-fucking-believable
    Stranger: take your time, admiral, and it will be believe
    Stranger: just look into your inner eye for the key
    You: the ship is sinking! grab the whores and fill up that hole!
    Stranger: stop it, admiral, i do not want to be grabbed there.
    Stranger: i would rather dance with a blind monkey in vegas
    Stranger: what is vegas?
    Stranger: is it a fruit?
    You: it's Barbie's new boyfriend
    You: i heard he's from luoisiana
    Stranger: oh no! does he have rabies? or some glittery chest hair?
    Stranger: because i forgot to buy my school supplies
    You: i bet he like fishsticks
    You: does that make him gay fish?
    Stranger: admiral, this is no time to talk about your wife! the ship is dying!
    You: School supplies ahoy!
    Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    Stranger: i forgot my tooothpaste at the hut!!
    Stranger: we must turn back!
    You: there's no way back
    You: vegas at our tails
    Stranger: oh, no! oh, no! i'm scared, admiral! should i rub some chapstick on my cheek to cool the pain?
    You: you better let the damn penguins gangbang the main macht
    You: for all we need is love
    Stranger: no time for insects, your macht is being raped!
    ou: gotta dress her up, penguins are such bastards
    Stranger: but... those are my penguins, admiral! the one with the purple coat is my father!
    You: the Purple Coat Gangbanging Pirate Penguin is you father??? So that makes you Vegas then!
    Stranger: no! but vegas is not me! it's my red-headed stepchild fifty times removed!
    Stranger: admiral, nooooooooooo
    You: That serves them right, those penguins! And you! You get back to Barbie and bang her for all the saints
    Stranger: but... i'm not equipped to do such a thing! i will need a carrot! or the toothpaste i left at the hut. THE TOOOOOOTTTHHHPASSTEE
    You: I'll get the toothpaste, my japanese schoolgirl friend owes me one. But you get you carrot in orderly condition at once!
    Stranger: DON'T YOU LOVE ME?? I thought i was your carrotface. what happened to us??
    You: You slept with my sister - Mary the Carrotdrive! I am no admiral of yours now! Not after what you've done!
    Stranger: then, i will lay my head to rest on the melancholy potato of broken hearts and slowly die

    Ezu: No love for trolls.

    Stranger: hey
    Stranger: asl?
    You: 32 lvl m\half-elf Erenor
    Stranger: sweet
    You: you?
    Stranger: 41 lvl troll
    You: you flithy bastard
    You have disconnected.

    Crilly: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
    You: My wife just died. WOO HOO! I drowned her. Multiple times. That bitch wouldnt die.
    Stranger: o lol ur funny
    You: I can move in my gf now. I got all my wifes stuff. About 5 mill in total.
    Stranger: wow thats just luck how does ur wife look likw
    Stranger: e
    You: Well I also put her on fire so like ashes.
    Stranger: do u have pictures of her before
    You: A few. Also before I burned her I got a few organs. Sell em on the black market.
    Stranger: lol ur funny
    You: I also killed all our kids. The bitches wouldnt stop screaming and crying. After I stabbed one of them of course.]
    Stranger: o thats just sad
    You: Not really. They started laughing after the laughing gas "leaked" and them they "tried to kill me" and thus "was forced to retaliate."
    Stranger: o wow
    You: Not to mention they all had life insurance. I made about 10-11 million in the affair. Did I mention the gf is worth a few billion?
    Stranger: no
    You: Oh well I did now. Maybe you heard of her? Shes called Felicia Day?
    Stranger: nope
    You: Oh well shes a tv star. She is going to have a "accident" invloving a gas stove and the gas being left on.
    Stranger: o
    You: Well I am going to turn on the stove. Bye.

    Twitter Trackbacks for Conversations With Strangers, by Tom Francis [pentadact.com] on Topsy.com: [...] First Tweet Apr 2, 2009 onthepradio tarci Influential http://www.pentadact... ...-strangers view retweet [...]

    Michelle: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    You: 4chan
    Stranger: the game
    You: We seem to have hit a stalemate.
    You: :|
    Stranger: out of 2200 poeple that sucks
    You: Yes yes it does.
    Stranger: dog damn it where are all the koreans
    You: they bore me...
    Stranger: i talked to 1 4chaner twice in 15 min
    You: nice
    You: glad to know we are doing are job.
    Stranger: haha yes you are
    You: ;) we try
    Stranger: keep lookin
    Stranger: /b/rother
    You: RULES 1 AND 2~
    You: But thanks!
    Stranger: and....26?
    You: and 36
    Stranger: i wich for 24
    Stranger: 34
    You: On what?
    Stranger: not sure yet maybe the omegle logo?
    Stranger: or is that 35
    You: Request 34,
    You: But 35 makes 34 true.
    You: Any other questions about the rules? Or is my work here done?
    Stranger: it is done
    You: Farewell.
    You have disconnected.

    Rick: Connecting to server...
    You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
    Stranger: hi
    You: We're no strangers to love
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Omegle – Talk to strangers! « my new blog (svade?): [...] http://www.pentadact... ...s#comments [...]

    me: asking for secrets

    I am illegally downloading the hangover
    I have spoken with you just now ;)
    I'm a 19 year old virgin.
    *proot*
    im horny
    i love u
    ok i am gay
    ur gay
    i have a hardone
    oh and penguins are behind 9/11
    i have a big penis
    well i see dead ppl
    I want to fuck my best friend.
    I have twitter and im obsessed.
    I have a penis and am homosexual
    I LIEK CHOCOLATE MILK
    your mother is so ho
    I just got scammed by a porn bot. They're everywhere now.
    i am crazy about sex
    I fucked my History School teacher

    Caleb: Stranger: yo muggle!
    You: herro prease
    Stranger: is that some wierd kind of unmagic speak?
    You: ...
    Stranger: you guys are confusing
    You: unmagic?
    You: wouldn't that be like dark magic?
    You: as it's the opposite of normal magic?
    Stranger: no, it would be like, not magic
    You: YOU BASTARD
    You: you're a dark wizard, aren't you?
    Stranger: .............
    Stranger: AVADA KEDAVRA
    You: Just hiding behind that facade of *DIES*
    Your conversational partner has disconnected.

    Lula: How did you ..
    how can i do this
    ?
    where did youu do this .
    tell me

    Returning Stranger: Sadly, having looked back into Omegle, it seems the quality has dropped noticably. And considering the low average quality before, that's saying something.

    At least we were there when the goings were good. Ah, memories.

    mouh: hi