In the TV ad for Valve’s Orange Box, the robo-voice from Portal – who you will eventually discover is called GLaDOS – uses journo quotes to summarise each game in the package. One of them is mine! To reiterate, the GLaDOS reads out my words. It will be on American telly. I’ve had a quote in foot-high letters on buses before, but now I can truly die happy. This basically makes me a writer at Valve.

Oh yeah, and I guess the issue with my three Orange Box reviews is on-sale now. It comes in a pretty awesome orange box, but the cover inside is even plus awesome.

For once I’m almost completely happy with my reviews, particularly the insane diagram in the Team Fortress 2 one. Tim deserves the credit for making sure that happened, and our Deputy Art Ed Amie Causton for turning my hilariously rubbish notepad scribble into what you see on the page. I also offer mad props to Valve’s super-artist Dhabih Eng, for painstakingly posing the beautiful lineup that opens the review. It makes me smile every time I look at it.

The Team Fortress 2 review is now online, sans diagram and awesome opening spread, and the other two reviews will go up when the Orange Box itself is live.